No reason to be timid about it. If it were me I would tell her to let me look at the phone, now, or the relationship is over. Granted this is a card you only get to play one time and it alone may end the relationship, so I would only do this if I felt confident in the breadcrumbs I found and if it were more important for me to have answers versus save the relationship. And if I were confident I didn't make her skittish enough to delete everything already.

Learn a little bit about restoring deleted messages (possible on Messages but not sure about IG) so you can do a thorough check.

Yes I know this is mate guarding and a loss of frame but if you get to this point the purpose is to gain facts so as to not waste another 8 years of your life

Do NOT alert her any more to your suspicions. It is answer time and you do better by her not being aware of what you are looking for until you have had a chance to find it

Your options here all suck because she is either looking to have fun or looking for a replacement. Don't huff the copium and tell yourself something isn't going on because something is. There is no point in confronting her. Your options:

A:Confront her about everything: confrontation solves nothing. All she is going to do is deny. In the future, she's going to be clever about it. Don't open your mouth until you've already decided on a course of action.

B: You could also lift, read, become a better man, work on being more attractive, being less unattractive, all of the classic RP/MRP stuff in hopes that you will win her attraction back via radical ownership of any way you may have been slacking, becoming the man she once fell in love with or even more of a man. The problem with that is, that is a gigantic covert contract that will blow up in your face and will not work because you are doing it for her.

C: You did not mention whether you have kids. If you do have kids, you could consider that you now have a sparring partner. Learn the MarriedRedPill sidebar from front to back, take a deep look at your life, lift, take on radical ownership in the relationship, and become the captain of your relationship. I don't think that turning her into a sparring partner is a good option because the well is poisoned unless you guys have young children. That said, you are better to be 100 percent of a dad 50 percent of the time than 50 percent of a dad 100 percent of the time.

That leaves your best option, D: Break things off, then take a good long look at what went wrong. Tell her "I don't think this is working out", move out your shit, block her on everything, learn the MarriedRedPill sidebar from front to back, take a deep look at your life, look at where the relationship went wrong, lift, ask yourself how you can be the leader of the relationship next time, and be a better man next time.

I worried a lot about my ex when her and I broke up a few months back, but there is no magic breakup formula. I broke up with her probably four or five months ago, and I know for a fact she is fucking dudes in Colorado and Spain now. I felt bad breaking off my engagement and she sure seemed sad at the time, but I shit you not five weeks later she was with a new asshole and probably eight months after we broke off the engagement she was married to that same asshole. You do not owe this woman anything more than "I don't think this is working out", and from there, as noted in the sidebar article getting over a breakup, blocking her and going no contact is your best decision. She doesn't own you, you aren't her slave, you don't owe her anything, she didn't save your puppy from a housefire.

I understand that incredible sex with an insanely hot girl is more addictive than heroin and it will be hard to just walk away, but your best bet is to do just that. Trust me, my ex-fiancé was insanely stunningly hot and we had incredible sex. I understand completely. And remember, there is always someone younger and tighter out there IF you are willing to put in the work. You know what to do.