Warning: The following content is not intended for all audiences. Those who have an SO who prefers to be the only man who lays eyes on you should skip this article. This article is intended for those who have an SO who enjoys being the sole object of affection of a woman coveted by others.
Reasons To Charm Men Who are not Your SO
How To Charm Other Men Who are not Your SO
This amounts to basic feminine techniques.
Avoiding The Hazards of Men Liking You Too Much
There is a potential hazard of making men like you to the extent that they want to become your orbiter or even your partner. The best way I have found to avoid this is to nip it in the bud before it happens. This can be easily done by openly obsessing over your SO in public. If he's present, physically fawn over him (PDA appropriately). If he's not there, talk about him A LOT. This is to give the impression that not only are you taken, there isn't even a sliver of hope of him “stealing” you. When done right, men will no longer actually covet you. They will find themselves enjoying your company (giving you all the benefits listed above), but instead of wanting specifically you, they will just find themselves wishing for a girl like you.
Another thing that you can do is avoid unnecessary physical contact. I'm even extremely discerning of who I allow to get a hug. Those who are at all likely to covet me do not get hugs, ever. Also be suspicious of gifts that you receive and who they are from. It is a judgment call on your part whether or not accepting a gift will send the wrong message.
Lastly, if men make inappropriate advances be forthcoming and direct about pushing them away. If you are subject of a man who refuses to take a hike, then there will be other men around who will force him to take a hike on your behalf. I have very seldom been in an uncomfortable situation, but for every one man who was making me uncomfortable, there were 5 men around who wanted to make sure I was protected.
We often refer to the relationship as the "Captain and First Mate Dynamic". The Captain is in charge of the ship, and the First Mate follows his lead. The term "First Mate" is used to mean that the women is not a passive bystander on the ship, or in the relationship. A competent First Mate can be relied on to take on duties that the Captain is not in the best position to do. These are the tasks that women are best suited for, or duties that the Captain is unable or unwilling to do. If the First Mate performs her essential duties, then the ship will run smoothly and the relationship will be a peaceful and happy one.
I have categorized the essential duties of the First Mate into 5 categories. They are:
Morale Officer
The First Mate's main duty is to keep spirits on the ship high. This becomes especially important to keep in mind when there are sources of tension. Being the Morale Officer means you are the soft place to land. You are not only a huge source of joy in his life, you are more often the solution to his problems, rather than the creator of them. You are not the cause of his headaches, you are the person he turns to that can relieve them. You are there to cure tension. The following techniques are a grab-bag of possibilities, use the ones the best suit your lifestyle. The more the better!
Techniques of the Morale Officer
Reporting Ship Status
Another essential duty of being a First Mate is reporting to your Captain everything that is going on with the ship. This ensure that he has to have all the information he needs to make good decisions. Remember that you are a team. Every time you do not give him the information he needs, you are actively hindering his ability to be a good captain.
Do:
Do not:
Carrying-out Assigned Duties
We often get questions about if it's okay if the woman of the house takes care of the finances, or if the man does the cooking. Absolutely, because that is how the Captain has delegated tasks. Any task that is assigned to you by your Captain becomes one of your essential duties as a first mate. They must be completed with the competence and care that you would give to any other task. The Captain may insert himself into these tasks to make sure they are done to his standards and meet his approval, but he is assigning them to you because he trusts your judgement to be able to take care of all of it (or most of it) on your own.
By taking things off his plate, and handling them well, you take a lot of stress off his plate that he might otherwise have. You are also showing to him that the trust that he has put into you in being able to complete these tasks has not been misplaced.
Supporting Your Captain
When your Captain is taking the helm it is important that he feels that you and others believe in him, but especially you. Men don't exist on an island, even if they don't appear it, men are absolutely effected by how people view him. If you believe in him, he will be able to believe in himself. If you think he will succeed, it will make him feel empowered to fight. Even if things look glum, you rooting in his corner will give him the strength he needs to keep pushing through.
There are two ways of supporting your captain. The first is backing his play, the second is helping to create a favorable impression of others about him.
Backing His Play
Backing his play means whatever his final decision is, you are on board. You not only will go along with it, but actively believe in the objective. Your duties are to encourage him, be the morale officer, and do anything you can to help the objective become a reality. Whatever the objective is, make yourself part of the solution rather than another obstacle he has to overcome.
Creating a Favorable Impression
Your Captain's availability of options can often depend on his ability to influence people. For example, people are promoted most often because they are well liked rather than because they are the hardest working. It is also true that other people having a favorable impression of him will give him more confidence that he can use to excel. There are two methods of creating a positive impression of others.
Ship Maintenance
The last category is meant to encompass all the little things that make life just go smoother. They are not things that he has asked you to do, they are just things that need to be done, and when they're done there's less reason for tension. Here's a list of examples:
Conclusion
By remembering the 5 essential duties of the First Mate, you will be on your way to making yourself a woman worthy of a good man, and creating a relationship that is a positive experience for everyone involved.