Rollo has just posted an excerpt of his excellent The Talk

• Head it off before it starts. They often start subtle by implying you are a player (chuckle as if it's true even if it's not). Or subtle expectations of current exclusivity (chuckle as if it's not true even if it is). As much as possible attempt to neither confirm nor deny. Frame your relationship ambiguously from the start, by refusing to define it at all. Neither confirm not deny involvement with other women. Be unavailable some of the time.

• Obviously do not show provider behaviour. This leads to female comfort, female "make him wait" behaviour and male sexual frustration.

• Less obviously - do not show commitment behaviour. No promises of future meetings. Gap after each meeting where there is no future meeting agreed. The lifestyle is: arrange, meet, gap, arrange, meet, gap, etc. NOT meet and arrange next, meet and arrange next, meet and arrange next. Do not let girls arrange the next meeting while you're with them (they often do this right after sex). There must be a regular "nothing arranged in the future" gap. She must have a tinge of fear about losing you rather than the perpetual certainty she'll see you every Saturday or every night at home or every second Sunday. (Allow occasional exceptions for special occasions, but observe how her behaviour changes - you'll get less attention from her and she'll be less sexual).

• If confronted, be vague. "Hey baby... I thought we had a nice thing going here... we like each other, we enjoy spending time together, and who knows what the future holds? There are no certainties in life, but I know that when I'm with you, I'm with you". For bonus points if you're brave: "But I do know this... love will always find a way...."

• If given a total absolute do-or-die ultimatum, retract commitment and treat the relationship as over but don't close the door fully... "Oh... oh I see... I'm sorry that it's come to this for you.... what we had was pretty good.... I know I enjoyed it a lot and I thought you were having a good time too... I'm really sorry that you've had to make these threats/ultimatums/demands" ie frame the relationship as over, but keep the conversation going long enough for her to hamster her way around to your way of thinking as she realises her bluff isn't working. Do not trigger an ego-battle, do not walk out, do not hang up, do not say "you need me more than I need you" or anything else ego-triggering. Just stay talking, stay happy, assume the relationship is over, start planning out your next conquest, keep the convo going. It's in your best interests. Keep that ego in check.

The worst possible number of women is one.

Despite AWALT, girls are all random and all different. Some like you more than others. You'll have a different "relationship" with each of them. So fixing your problem with "this one girl" doesn't mean anything in the long term.

If you're in a LTR, then "trying to make it work" and "putting effort in" and "all relationships involve work and sacrifice" just means you are a variation of beta bucks. Even if you're not paying dollars, you're offering commitment and support by being a point of stability in her life and giving emotional support. And chances are she's giving you shit (or the sex sucks) and you want to improve your relationship.

Thing is... you can't change other people. Some things will help your LTR work better but ultimately you are not in control. She'll do what she does, and you have influence over that but you can't force her to feel something different to her actual feelings. And she'll act purely according to how she feels. That's never going to change.

The solution to your LTR woes is to fix yourself irrespective of her. Get some abundance mentality (or get it back), get more options with other women, flirt with more women, be more attractive, care less about your LTR and be less reactive to it. She's probably getting less sexual with you, respecting you less, while every year you're putting more and more effort into what's basically a sinking ship. You can't say a few magic RP words and have her sucking your dick like a trooper again. Doesn't work like that. It's your life, that's what you need to fix. Make choices that will work no matter what she does. Be more attractive, meet more people, lift some heavy shit once in a while, flirt with more women.

Conversely... if you're not in an LTR and you're trying to get with "this one girl", and you've not fucked her on two separate occasions, then she is nothing more than an option. Treat her as such. She might have boyfriend, she might hate men, she might hate you. I guarantee she has a whole load of stuff (good and bad) going on that you know nothing about. You can't take her seriously as a sexual option until you've had actual sex with her on two separate occasions. Until then - she's an option and nothing more. Don't treat her as the "one and only". Don't treat it like you're in a relationship that just needs a quick fix up. You're not anything to her yet, so do not commit excessive time, resources or emotional energy to her. And absolutely do not restrict your options with other women. You're more likely to get with her if you increase your options with other women. So if your question is basically "there is this one girl..." then your answer is "she doesn't matter, get more options".

If your question is "I find that every girl I chat up throws up when she sees me", then let's discuss your situation. If you have ongoing issues about how to apply TRP, what specific bits of TRP mean, then do ask away. If you have a situation that has come up that you don't understand, then ask away. If you want to know the best way to proceed with a specific situation then ask away BUT... ask from the point of view of "I'm seeing three girls but a situation has come up that I don't quite know how to handle and I'm curious on the best way forward".

Just don't ask us "how can I make things work with this one girl that I really want to get with". That's one-itis, it's trying to get control over one particular situation rather than having an abundance of options, it's putting too much effort and emphasis on one girl, and it's the perpetuation of the blue pill media story of the guy who makes a gigantic gesture to win the heart of his one super-special-snowflake-unicorn rather than fixing himself.

This is a slightly modified version of an article I originally posted on reddit's AskTRP forum.