Women are social creatures. Herd animals, really. Without attention and validation, they die (or at least become really messed up in the head). To a woman, if you don’t have an active social life, you pretty much don’t exist. And for a woman, if something doesn’t have an immediate social benefit or effect, she might as well not bother doing it. She thinks it’s a waste of time. Everything she does or refrains from doing is based on the social benefit or detriment to her – what the herd will think and how it will react.
This is why one of the most important traits a man can possess when it comes to attracting women, second only to being hot, is social aptitude. If you don’t have a social life, you’re not a real person to her. It doesn’t matter how hard you work, how much money you make, how much nice stuff you do for her, or even how much of an aloof asshole you pretend to be hoping to trick her into thinking you’re awesome. If you are not socially connected, you don’t exist. Just breathing the same air as you costs her points with the herd unless she can spin things properly.
If you’re not socially connected, then your girlfriend (or just the girl you’re pining after) is your primary social outlet. You’re not a real person to her because in her world, you’re an extension of her. She’s the real person with the real social life, while you are an accessory in her life. She will use you as a tool to accomplish tasks (e.g., help her move, pick her up from her “abusive ex’s” house for the third time this week). She will use you to garner attention from more valuable people (e.g., cuddle with you in front of hot guys to make them jealous then complain to her girlfriends about how you’re creepy and can’t take a hint). Because you are an accessory, not a real person, she will make you useful to her, sometimes using you up, casting you aside, or wrecking your life in the process. What happens to you doesn’t matter to her, because you’re not human.
Essentially, like children, women lack object permanence. You are socially vacant, therefore you have no effect on her life. You’re not there. When she’s not staring at you, you do not exist. You begin existing again when she picks up her phone to text you. And, as with children, the fact that you are an actual human – every bit as complete and complex as she is – never crosses her mind. You are simply a stimulus that exists in her life.
Fucking a man like that would be like fucking her poodle or her favorite pair of shoes. She doesn’t see you as a person. She sees you as an accessory. Sex hasn’t crossed her mind, because the fact that you’re an actual human being hasn’t even occurred to her. You are mostly invisible – part of the background in her life.
However, if you are socially apt, then you have an effect on others. People know you, like you, want to help you out, want to fuck you. You go on existing, even when a woman stops paying attention to you. When you walk into a room and people know you, or when you simply strike up a conversation with people who aren’t her and it becomes clear that your attention has value to others, you become real.
In fact, if you’re busy mingling about a crowded venue, while a girl follows at your heels, she becomes your accessory. The difference here is that when the situation is reversed, she loves being an accessory to a successful, socially apt man. She gains status, as a woman, by being attached to a winner. She hopes the whole world sees her, following at the heels of a great man.
The more you become a socially apt winner, the more pleasant and more effective of an accessory she will become for you. Well-developed social aptitude is critical for having your own life, independent from her – turning her into an accessory in your great life. Without it, she’s the owner, and you’re merely an object in her purse.
I’m going to start with something a little basic but very wise that I’m stealing from Athol Kay’s Married Men Sex Life Primer: “You are not your brain.” Humans are animals, not all that much greater than lizards or dogs or jellyfish. Some animals have hard exoskeletons. Some have poisonous stingers. Some have sharp claws and teeth. We have brains. Brains are our tool that we use to overcome problems and defeat other animals.
Our brains are our body’s tool. Our brains don’t use our bodies to accomplish things. It’s the other way around. Our body wants things, whether it’s food, water, protection from shitty weather, or sex, and it uses its best tool, the brain, to figure out how to get these things.
This means that when you want a woman to fuck you, you don’t try to appeal to her brain. That’s a loser’s route. If you try to appeal to her brain when her body doesn’t want you, you’ll be eating palm, pepper spray, or a cosmopolitan martini, depending on whatever she happens to have on-hand. Instead, you appeal to her body. You make her body want you. Her brain will then come up with a series of rationalizations to make your dick inside of her seem like a great idea, and do its utmost to try to convince you to put it there.
If you want to get laid, the single most important thing you can do with your life – greater than all other things – is BE GOOD LOOKING. Now I understand that many of us are born short, an undesirable race for wherever we live, have ugly faces, receding hairlines, or various other blemishes and imperfections. That’s fine. Very few people can be a perfect ten. But you don’t need to be perfect-looking, just good looking. That’s enough to get laid.
If you take nothing else with you from your exposure to the Red Pill – nothing at all except for this – you will be a million times better than when you came: Lift weights. It’s that simple. Get your ass into a gym 4-6 times a week, no excuses, and lift heavy shit to exhaustion. Do the research, eat a caloric surplus, look up a muscle-building routine that focuses on your primary lifts, and just keep doing it. Do not compromise on this.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a shitty-morph, a loser-morph, or whatever other excuses you have for not getting muscular. If you do the work, you will get stronger and better looking. You don’t have to go ape-shit-crazy and start taking steroids or getting testosterone or growth hormones or eating five pounds of whey protein a day or end up looking like a circus strongman to get laid. You just need to get muscular. If you do the work, you can’t help getting muscular. If you really like what you see and want to take those extra steps to become super-jacked, go for it, but for the general purpose of getting laid, just being a regular weightlifter 4-6 times a week who eats right and looks good will get you there.
Once you’ve gotten to the point where your body isn’t changing rapidly in size any more and is growing slowly at best, buy clothes. Clothes that fit and show off your physique. There’s more than enough literature out there on what’s fashionable, and that will vary a lot depending on where you live, your social scene, and what you look like, so this is mostly a fun research project for you. When you look badass and have places to go and women to fuck, clothes shopping is fun, not a chore.
Groom, too, obviously. Get a stylish haircut. One that looks good from the sides and back, too, not just in the mirror. If you’re balding, shave your head. And wear a modest cologne – not just deodorant. Most men smell a little musty as they age, and can’t smell themselves. You know that you wouldn’t give a woman who smelled slightly sweaty or yeasty a second thought, so if you have any hint of odor, you’re done.
It is that simple.
I won’t even get into “game” or personality or any social or professional aspects of your life at this point. I heartily believe that if you look the absolute best you can, within whatever limitations you were born with, that alone will increase your ability to get laid tenfold.
Why? Because women are animals. When they see a physically attractive man, their body instinctively wants to fuck that man. At that point, their body begins to utilize its best tool, their brain, to overcome the problem of how to fuck that man. With their brain feeding them constant rationalizations for why fucking you is such a great idea, you can pretty much say or do whatever you want. They’ll laugh and think you’re funny. They’ll hint at their interest. They’ll let you touch them. Their barriers will be down. Somehow, even though you just met her, she’ll feel like she’s known you forever. That’s her brain, rationalizing whatever it needs to in order to further her body’s desire to fuck you.
If you are good looking – sexually attractive – then everything you do is seen in the best light possible. You can be the biggest asshole on the planet, and women will laugh and think you’re funny and charming. If someone tells them you’re an asshole, they’ll defend you and say you’re really sweet and just misunderstood. You can treat a woman like dirt, and she’ll keep her mouth shut for fear of ruining her chances with you, then thank you for the opportunity to suck your dick that night. She will feel satisfied – fulfilled – when she gets you off, because it validates her knowing that she was able to please such an attractive man. You can be fucking her weekly in a rotation of ten other women, and she’ll still consider herself lucky to have you.
If you are not good looking – sexually unattractive – then every single thing you do is seen in the worst light possible. The sound of your voice is annoying. Everything you talk about is boring. It’s creepy and off-putting when you touch her – she feels violated. No matter how many nice things you do or say, she doesn’t notice, or takes them for granted, or minimizes them, or pisses all over them.
She might think that because you are acting a certain way, she’s not attracted to you, but it’s actually the opposite. Because she’s not attracted to you, everything about the way you act sucks, and there’s nothing you can do that will be perceived better. If she found you sexually attractive, she’d love everything about you no matter what you did.
Appeal to her body, not her brain. You do that by building an awesome body at the gym, not by finding common interests and emotional connections like some loser.