From time to time, we come across the writing of a passive, loser, “beta” man, in the process of attempting to reclaim his manhood and his power in a relationship (or possibly attempting to claim this for the first time ever). His story usually goes something like, “My girlfriend is doing [insert shitty behavior here] but I finally put my foot down and told her to stop this or I’m gone. She apologized. It felt good confronting her and setting a boundary like that. You guys should follow my alpha manly man red pill example!”

On one hand, we want to encourage the guy. He’s made great progress. He recognizes shitty behavior in his woman. He knows that this behavior is a sign that she doesn’t respect him or the relationship and that he has no power in the relationship. He knows that he shouldn’t have to tolerate this bad behavior and that continuing to put up with it is costing him additional power and respect. He knows he needs to stop tolerating this. I don’t want to minimize these steps. They’re important steps. Men who have taken these steps are leaps and bounds ahead of most loser men.

But then guys like this go and fuck things up. They confront their women and attempt to set a boundary. Because they read somewhere on The Red Pill that setting boundaries is an alpha manly man Red Pill thing to do.

The problem is that betas don’t set boundaries. Women ignore the boundaries of a beta. They laugh at them inside. They think it’s amusing when a little beta loser tries to tell them to do or refrain from doing something. A beta loser man has not earned the right to act like an alpha winner man and speak to her that way – to presume to command her submission like that.

When a loser tells his woman to do or refrain from doing something, the woman will do one of three things: 1) Dump his ass because she doesn’t care about him; 2) Ignore his request (and maybe even tell him she’s ignoring it), which is a shit-test she is using to demonstrate that she has the power in the relationship, not him; 3) Manipulate him – apologize, pretend she cares about the relationship so she can keep benefiting from it, then just do a better job of hiding her bad behavior from him in the future.

The one thing a woman doesn’t do when a beta loser man asks her to do something is submit. Whining that you want your woman to do or refrain from doing something and threatening to leave if she doesn’t obey does not make her suddenly recognize that you’re a real manly man that she’s afraid to lose, hence her apparent capitulation and obedience. If things get to the point where you have to deliver ultimatums, and your woman appears to submit to your ultimatum, you didn’t win. All you did is tell her where she needs to improve her skills and do a better job of lying and hiding her bad behavior.

If you’re a Red Pill newbie, or even a guy who’s been reading this shit for years but still doesn’t have complete control over his relationship, be honest. You know who you are. It’s not shameful – you’re still leaps and bounds ahead of the huge majority of men. In fact, acknowledging where you’re lacking and need to improve is a sign of strength, not weakness.

But now that you know where you’re lacking, don’t try to command your woman like some kind of boundary-enforcing alpha manly man when you haven’t earned that right. It doesn’t work. Before your woman demonstrates her respect for you by submitting to your boundaries, you need to actually be respectable.

If your woman is doing shitty behavior, don’t talk to her about it. She’ll either dump you, ignore you, or pretend to care while hiding her ongoing shitty behavior. Instead, you have two options:

1- Ignore her and work on yourself. Become emotionally less available to her. Still escalate and go for sex frequently, but pull away if you don’t get laid and go do something else. Hit the gym. Get buff. Excel at work. Get rich. Throw yourself into learning new skills and interesting hobbies. Get out there and make friends and do fun shit. Build an awesome life without her. You only bring her along for the ride if that escalation starts leading to getting laid like a champ. Otherwise, she stays home and you have a fun life without her tagging along.

2- Leave her. Having no woman is better than having a shitty woman. And it shows that you respect yourself far more than she respects you. After doing this, do #1 and find a better girl. But leave that other girl, too, the moment she’s shitty.

When you become a respectable man with an awesome life, you’ll find that women tend to behave themselves without you having to confront them and set boundaries. And on the rare occasions when you need to tell them to get in line, they’re quick to do so for fear of losing you to one of the ten other women waiting in line to fuck you.

Just remember: If you’re a work in progress, you don’t get to overtly set boundaries. That’s not a tool in your toolbox. Confrontation is a tool of women, not men, and if you have to use a woman’s tool against a woman, all you’re telling her is what buttons she can press in the future to really upset you, or what she needs to do a better job of hiding. Why would you arm a woman with that kind of weapon?

One of the big talking points of anti-male movements is the idea of “toxic masculinity”. Essentially, this concept is an argument against gender-roles. Specifically, masculine gender roles. The idea goes that society fosters this outdated, useless, ineffective, and impossible standard of manhood – something kind of like Rambo or John Wayne – which damages both men and women.

It damages women because men who are trying to be muscular, macho, aggressive, angry, manly men are, of course, all evil misogynists that treat women badly, beat women, and rape women, because nothing says, “I’m not a loser who can’t get laid” like having to resort to rape to get laid.

It damages men because 99.9999 percent of men aren’t perfect, will never look like Greek gods, will never get laid by every single girl every single time, and so on. And for some reason, this depresses men because men are told that if they aren’t eating 5,000 pounds of steroids and getting laid six times a day, they’re worthless losers. So a bunch of men are killing themselves, suffering from mental illness, and failing at life, and the reason is because they’re being held to standards that shouldn’t exist. They need to be absolved from any kind of standard and just be allowed to be!

I mean, I know that when a man isn’t getting laid, the only reason he feels bad about that is because society tells him that "real men" get laid. If nobody told him that men are supposed to want to have sex, he probably wouldn’t even miss it, right? He could easily replace that pesky desire to get laid if it were more acceptable to physically cuddle other men. That’s what men are really missing. Emotional connections and casual non-sexual touch with dudes!

I shit you not. This is something liberal crackpots actually think.

They call it the progressive movement, but honestly, we live in the age of regressive, backward-thinking. Many men are sexless and unhappy. Society has changed such that the ways to get laid that worked in the past don’t work now. The forward thinking solution would be, “We need to teach men how to get laid.” The backward thinking solution is, “Men are told that they are only ‘real men’ if they are getting laid. We need to tell them that they are still ‘real men’ in the absence of getting laid.” – essentially, regress. Tell men who are living under the old rulebook, to their detriment, to keep doing so, even though the world has moved on without them. Don’t fix the problem. Change the definition of “man” so that there is no problem.

Shit on the sidewalk, draw a circle around your turds, and label the circle “toilet”. If someone steps in your shit, tell them that you’re offended because that sidewalk identifies as a toilet. Changing definitions rules. That’s way easier than changing yourself.

Another big talking point out there is sex-positivity. That’s code for “slut-acceptance”. Also, despite its name, sex-positivity is actually a very negative mentality about sex. Sex used to be something very special, done by committed partners to create babies and as one of the ultimate expressions of love. Sex was so special that people who did sex outside of these circumstances were shamed because they were cheapening sex, cheapening love, dishonoring their partners, and so on.

But as we all know, women refraining from having sex with as many hot guys as they can is oppressive, patriarchal slavery. So society needed a “sex-positive” solution to this problem. The “sex-positive” solution was to turn sex from something important into something very trivial and unimportant. Essentially, to reduce sex from something special and intimate into something purely recreational. That way, if people have a lot of slutty sex, it’s not like they did anything important. They were just having fun. It was “just sex”. Yup. “Just sex” sounds very sex-positive to me. Now, women fuck for just about every single reason imaginable. Except love.

We live in the age of feminism, and part of feminism means that women now have free choice and agency regarding sex. Women also now have jobs and don’t need men to support them. When those historical constraints were removed from women, women began to exercise that sexual choice, and the results were unsurprising. Women want to fuck good-looking, muscular, fun guys, and don’t care that much about commitment (until their opportunities start to dry up). Interestingly, the kinds of men these strong and independent women are fucking tend to be the “toxic” kinds of men that are so discouraged.

The former preferred female gender role espoused the idea that “real women” (e.g., women that men want to marry) don’t slut around. This, of course, couldn’t stand, because, as described above, holding any gender to any kind of standard is “toxic”.

So women are slutting around, and despite all of the fun they’re having, they feel kind of bad about themselves and have shitty self-esteem. The forward-thinking solution would be, “We need to teach women to stop being sluts and to derive self-esteem from other areas of life.” But we don’t live in a forward thinking society. We live in the backward-thinking progressive society, so we need a regressive solution: “We need to teach society to stop shaming evolved, intelligent women with higher reasoning ability for giving into their instincts and acting like animals whose sole purpose is to breed by telling everybody that turning yourself into a fuck-object is empowering!” Change the female gender role so that fuck-animals who give into their hedonistic instincts are the enlightened ones while conservative girls who honor their bodies are dim-witted, oppressed slaves.

Then, tell men to stop being the kind of men these women are fucking, because it’s “toxic” for men to want sex and to behave in a manner that causes women to have sex with them. But it's also “toxic” to shame women for fucking these very men.

It’s not just women that are shit-testing you. It’s all of Western society. Your one goal in life should be to become as “toxic” as possible. Whatever your liberal friends tell you is sexist, outdated, and damaging – do precisely that. Grow big-ass muscles. Be a badass at work and get rich as hell. Fuck, be greedy. Walk up to strangers and be social – to hell with worrying about boundaries and offending people. Touch women until they stop you. If they don’t stop you, fuck them. Then don’t call the next day because you’re busy doing man shit. Everything they tell you doesn’t apply to a “real man” any more – do exactly that. Become a toxic man.