No Means No Means ... What?
Published 08/12/20 by Whisper [0 Comments]

“No means no!”

You’ve heard this before. And you know it ain’t so. Because if you have been doing this a while, you have often heard “no”, and eventually gotten to “yes, please”, and even “harder, daddy”.

So what does “no means no” actually mean?

Well, if you’re the sort of man who gets to “harder, daddy”, you know that women usually say things that aren’t literally true. This is not just about lying… women use language differently.

And the phrase “no means no” is a particularly clever piece of female-language technology. It’s a Rorschach test. You know, that business with the inkblots, where some headshrink whips out a card and some people say it’s a bat and other people say it’s a moth.

It’s neither… it’s a card. None of us use language literally. Keep that in mind as you try to understand women.

So, when men hear “no means no”, they interpret it differently, and that separates them into two categories…. this is exactly what women intend. This kind of language is also known as a “dog whistle” in certain other contexts.

Each of these types of men gets the message that women want them to hear.

So, just like the “soft no” itself, the phrase “no means no” is used to measure a man’s social savvy, and thereby separate the wheat from the chaff.

So, how do different types of man respond to “no means no”?

If any of this is news to you, then I’ve just turned you into the third type of guy, and your mission is to turn yourself into the fourth.

Here’s some things to keep in mind:



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Persuasion and the Modular Mind
Published 08/08/20 by Whisper [2 Comments]

You can’t negotiate attraction.

This is red pill 101. Stone age red pill. Stuff we figured out back when we were still banging the rocks together. You know all that. It’s obvious. No amount of rational arguments about why you are a desirable mate are ever going to spark sexual desire in any woman ever.

Hopefully by now the very thought of trying this makes you wince, or laugh, imagining what species of horrible neckbeard you would look like if you tried.

But have you ever wondered why it’s impossible to negotiate attraction? Why it’s impossible to persuade people of certain things, but not others?

After all, I couldn’t talk you into being attracted to fat girls, might or might not be able to talk you into going to medical school instead of law school, and could almost certainly talk you into converting your machine shop to three-phase power.

Conventional wisdom about how to persuade people of things isn’t so much “wrong” as it is a collection of unorganized observations about what works, but not about why.

If we want to influence the decisions people make, then we should probably know how they make them.



Think about this… have you ever been in a pointless argument? Have you ever presented an airtight case, had an audience that was utterly unable to refute the slightest point, yet their ironclad conviction that you were dead wrong only seemed to increase?

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you weren’t talking with a sentient being at all, but just a bundle of conditioned reflexes? (If you never have, then you are quite possibly the guy who gives other people that feeling.)

The reason that you have that feeling may be that you are closer to correct than you realize.



Set aside, for a moment, how you think about brains, and try imagining them like this:

This means that you could be having a conversation with one part of someone’s brain, about a decision that happened in another part, and it will keep throwing rationalizations at you, sincerely believing that those are the real reasons.

The conversation goes nowhere, of course, because the actual decision maker isn’t participating or receiving input.

That feeling you get when you’re talking to someone and it feels like they’re failing a Turing test? Consider the possibility that this is what’s going on.

Which gets us back to the real reason why attraction cannot be negotiated. The part of the brain that decides to be attracted, and the part of the brain that can be negotiated with, are different parts of the brain.

So here’s the takeaway:

In order to persuade someone to change a decision or opinion, you need to find a way to connect with the part of the brain that is actually responsible for that decision or opinion.

There’s no step by step set of instructions for doing this, but, if there were, the first step would be to understand all of the above, and be aware of it in your daily life, so that you can try to tell when you are interacting with a “story engine” rationalization, instead of an actual reason.

Once you do that, you have to try to figure out what the real reason is, and how to push past the story engine in order to interact with the bit that is responsible for what is actually going on. This could be done through the process of how you communicate instead of what you say. Or through exploiting the way their story engine talks back to other parts of the brain. Or through entirely non-verbal means.

You’re responsible for figuring how to deal with this situation when you spot it. The first step is to be on the lookout for it so that you know there’s something to figure out.







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