@fumbor

Should I cut it off if I'm not physically attracted to her?

Hey guys, I’m 21 and met a 19-year-old girl last month who shares pretty much all the same interests as me. Emotionally and personality-wise, we connect really well.

The only issue is that she has zero experience. She’s never kissed anyone before and is really shy about physical affection. She told me she’s scared she’ll mess up or turn me off. I put my foot down a dew days ago and was honest with her, told her the lack of affection is starting to affect me and feels like a dealbreaker. She ended up breaking down and said she doesn’t want to seem desperate, but she’d do anything to make this work.

Here’s the thing, I’m not physically attracted to her. She’s not fat at all, just maybe a 4 or 5/10 but honestly feels like long-term material, but that physical chemistry just isn’t there for me. On the other hand, there’s another girl I’ve been seeing where the physical attraction is way stronger, but I don't connect with her as well and she does have quite a few more red flags.

I’m in a spot now where I feel like I have to choose. She told me if she kisses a guy and then gets broken up with she'll kill herself (maybe not literally but she is saving herself). I also feel like I have options as I'm good looking ( not as good looking as when I used to lift before working crazy hours), I am working in investment banking this summer and will likely go full-time next year, so I will be making six figs at a relatively young age (but no work life balance). I’ve spent maybe $300 on the first girl, so it's feeling like a money sink now. I'm just not excited to be around her but she'd be great LTR material.

Should I keep seeing the girl I connect with emotionally, even though I’m not that attracted to her? Would really appreciate some honest thoughts.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzliaVBQKDs

@GetMoreBooks

30 Y/O Beginner with some questions

Hey y’all, trying to figure out how to improve my situation as much as possible within my current means. I’m currently unemployed and have been fighting depression but therapy has been helping. I’ve cleaned up my diet, and I’m starting to work out more regularly. Down 35 lbs so far with 35 more to go. I’ve begun replacing my wardrobe so I don’t look homeless using reddit’s male fashion advice basics. Read most of the sidebar and the rational male, still making my way through the book of pook. After that I will read day game.

My main issue is I have been spending my days playing video games and watching TV and never leaving the house. I haven’t been on a date in over 10 years and am still a virgin. I’m currently living with my parents. I’m planning on saving up to buy a house when I get a job, but I don’t think I’ll reach that goal for another 18 months for when I can get my own place. My current plan is to begin to re-expose myself to social environments and talking to people, and raise my SMV as much as possible until I can become employed again.

Overall Goals: -10% body fat -Find employment with at least 70k a year so I can save up for a house by the end of the year -Force myself to be social so I can talk to people without being weird -Ask a girl for her number before May 30(while this seems easy, I have never done this before and want to lose a bit more weight and finish fixing wardrobe before I try)

Daily Plan to Prevent Myself from self-isolation: Morning – Workout, Go to coffee shop and work on Resume/ Job Search 4 hours (Coffee shop is where I will be exposed to other people so I’m not isolated for days on end) Afternoon- Read self-development 3 hours Evening – This is the part I struggle with the most, my evenings are usually empty, and with that emptiness I just watch TV or porn. I plan to try and start volunteering in order to broaden my horizons and the number of people I meet while not spending any money except for gas. I will also try hobby group meetups for stuff I’m interested in.

Advice Needed: I am open to suggestions on any of this plan if anyone sees an issue I’m blind to. What are some good ideas on how to spend my evening productive, because I’m used to having the mindset “I’ve earned a break in the evening” despite doing minimal things to have earned a break. I don’t drink (sober 2 years) and don’t like bars, so I don’t really want to go there unless I have to, so open to suggestions on how to meet women or friends. All my friends are married with kids and don’t do anything, so meeting people through friends isn’t really a good option. For online dating, I’ve only attracted overweight women, should I just go on dates even though I’m not attracted to them for practice?

Brainstorming for current issues: For evenings I'm leaning more towards reading fantasy hobby or practicing a skill although I don't know what skills could help SMV while working on it at home. Meeting women I think hobby groups would be my best bet, such as board game groups, hiking groups, and running groups as these are things I am actually interested in. Are there any easy hobby groups to meet women in? As for online dating, my intuition is to not date women I don't have any attraction to, but I'm not sure if my lack of experience is extreme enough to date them anyway to try and get that experience.

I wasted my entire 20s to depression so really trying to improve now, thank you for your time and advice.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@sweatybadger

How do I get over the fact that I "lost" a virgin

This goes back to my break up post, but TLDR had a literal virgin that I became her first for everything sexually. Things didn't end up working out, now I'm tainted because that was my literally a 1 in a billion chance.

I accept total accountability that it was the lack of me being a complete man that lead to me losing her. Now she's literally out there riding the cock carousel after her first long term relationship with me lol...

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.