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Basically he was in a position of authority already, did enough to get her hooked but wasn't giving her what she wanted = commitment. As to the rest of your post about theory, I'll comment on that.
I'm not here to toot my own horn, but I was a former 'bad boy'/dickhead for years. Not the woman beating/go to prison kind though. Despite the silly flair I've been given, I do feel qualified to speak on this topic from personal experience and self-reflection.
"Bad" Guys show/have behavior and skills that demonstrate evolutionary fitness:
• Risk-taking ability • Fearlessness • Better physique • Humour • Social Skills • Confidence • Power
In regards to these attributes, I 100% displayed all of them to varying degrees. Although quietly rather than loudly. I was never brash. I would constantly engage in risky behaviour with women that most men I knew would not have the balls to do; such as speaking my mind freely, being willing to break rapport, be rude if needed, approaching women boldly, escalating sexually, having sex in risky locations or in the heat of the moment, and even sometimes taking risks that would be considered borderline sexual assault if I had not been calibrated and experienced enough to know if I could get away with it or not. I can give a few examples of what I mean there:
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I was at a house party, and there was a girl there I didn't know and barely spoke to all night. At one point she was in the kitchen with me and one other guy, and she takes off her shorts to show a tattoo that ran up her thigh towards her hip. I really don't know how, but intuitively from that I knew I could have her. After she did that, I was walking behind her at some point, and I gave her a light tap on the ass, she turned around looked at me and smiled. 30 minutes later I was eating her out in the bathroom.
- Similar example. I go to a house party. Girl I don't know is there. We barely speak but somehow I can tell she likes me. I go to the kitchen to make a drink, she follows me out after about a minute, she also goes to make a drink, and without even saying a word, I walk towards her as she's looking at me, and we start making out and I'm fingering her. This all happened within a minute or so. Then we're fucking on the floor of one of the nearest free rooms.
These examples are 100% true. Scenarios where the average dude couldn't even fathom getting away with that, and looking back now, I don't even know how I did really. So those are displays of fearlessness and risk taking, but they were calculated intuitively within seconds. 'Bad boys' have this same innate intuition and boldness, and it comes only from experience. Physique was never Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque. I'm literally 5'9" and have weighed about 155lbs most of my adult life. Slim-ripped with broad shoulders seems to be enough for most women in my experience.
Being funny helped, but in a way that teases them and amuses yourself first. Although not always the case that I needed to tease them or neg them. Sometimes just amusing myself or remarking on what I found amusing was fine. Girls would be giggling either way, but if they already find you attractive then it doesn't really matter. The trick is to only be funny when you feel like it, and not care about what anyone thinks.
My social skills were okay. I was a friendly, approachable guy and still am but I was definitely not the "life and soul" of every room or party. As I said in my 2 examples above, I barely spoke to those girls and yet still had my way with them. I think ultimately the "bad boy" in my opinion is someone who gets what he wants and believes he can, and this is compounded by experience. He's also someone who doesn't give a fuck either way about consequences, whether that's to his detriment or not. It's not about beating women, being a horrible person, getting into fights and going to prison.
As for keeping women hooked? Be good in bed and make them feel good, but be able to walk away or call them out directly when they're behaving in a way you don't like, and also have options. I think that pretty much covers it.
Read MoreThanks @lone_ranger for the junk food reference, that's all you man
Ronnie Raygun's "Trickle Down Economics" IS working. Just not the way it was promised.
Also, that's not bathwater.
The simple solution is "move".
You are where you are because you have allowed yourself to be manipulated into believing you are somehow responsible for the life your Parents created.
Move away, go low or no contact with them and get some professional help. Although there is no shame in helping them in small ways when necessary, you are not going to save them and would be foolish to try.
I don’t know why, but I found myself looking at r/relationships
…
That’s the saddest hole I’ve ever seen on the internet.
Update on this. She reached out
Yesteday 5:09 PM — Her: ???? Yesterday, 8:54 PM — Her: I miss you
Today, 12:42 PM — Her: I also want you to meet (her puppy) Today, 3:41 PM — Her: Please? Her: I restocked on clothes I’m trying Me: Said you’d make it up. What did you have in mind? Today, 7:24 PM — Her: What if you come over one night and I make food and drinks
Ty for all the replies, for real.
Towards the end of bar hopping era it was becoming increasingly popular for women to approach a complete stranger, with her arms clasped behind her back, chest puffed up, titties on full display and with absolute confidence ask, Buy a stranger a drink?
My go to response was "Sure, I'd love one." To my surprise, I got a good number of free drinks this way. Weeded any woman with no interest in me.
I cheated on my girlfriend while drunk. Should I tell her?
My girlfriend and I have been dating five months, exclusive for almost two. We have an otherwise good relationship.
She’s an high quality girl, no doubt. After a minor disagreement, I got drunk and had a one-night stand with a random gal I met at the bar. It meant nothing emotionally, and I regret it. Totally uncalled for.
I do really care about my girlfriend, don’t want to lose her, and would never cheating again. I’m struggling with a lot of guilt and shame tho
I don’t want to tell her because I believe it would devastate her and likely end our relationship. But I also recognize that keeping it secret denies her the choice. I ultimately see almost zero upside to telling her other than absolving myself of the guilt
Is it possible to move forward from this or is telling her the only ethical option?
"Our greatest glory is, not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
― Oliver Goldsmith, "The Citizen of the World"
I don't know what the argument was about and I won't prod for more info, but I know that you'll be moving forward from this regardless. Where that might be, I can't say, but I can only pray it's towards a better outcomes in similar situations in your future.
Unless she suspects you passed onto her an STD, or the chick you banged has shown up with the ability to prove the baby in her arms is yours, the girlfriend doesn't need to know what you did. I know you're not Catholic, but if this is something you need to get off your chest face-to-face, either a priest, or someone else you trust and regard as a mentor are the better options while you're still sorting out your feelings on this.
I recall you mentioned this kind of thing before. That you get hammered to deal with stressful situations. You should probably look into that. That situations of conflict with your girlfriends are followed by heavy drinking is the bigger concern.
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