On Q3, I wouldn’t worry about whether you are “pedestalizing women” or whatever. You don’t need to try hard to “not be a simp” or whatever, you will know deep down when you are actually pedestalizing.

Look, reality is, much of what us men do, even if they don’t admit it, is to get women. Men will shout and scream that they don’t do X for women, whether X is going to the gym or posting to social media.

My general rule of thumb for whether it’s good to do something to get women:

Does doing this thing intrinsically benefit me, even if it never gets me laid?

Examples of things that do intrinsically benefit me, regardless of women: going to the gym, earning more money, and learning game. Learning game helps you understand all social settings better, and makes you more popular among men too. All these things make you a stronger, more complete, well rounded man.

Examples of things that don’t benefit me intrinsically: buying a woman flowers, going to a feminist rally, complimenting random girls. These things have no ROI outside maybe getting you laid. They do not help you otherwise.

Takeaway: learning game is good. Doesn’t matter if you pedestalize or not, a man with game is better than the same man without.

Nuance: sometimes it makes sense to do things in the non-intrinsic benefits category, strategically. Doing them too frequently is what turns a man into a simp and pedestalizer of woman.

Ok, I'll try.

The first one is texting. While I seem to be getting better in general at in person game,

In person game is the only game.

I constantly seem to fumble any type of texting.

I don't think the texting is the problem here.

I’ve managed to get a couple numbers or a little bit of interest,

Great, well done.....this shit isn't easy.

but I manage to kill that interest while messaging.

I doubt this bit. I think they are less interested than they seem.

I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems.

Right.

And that's what I think the problem is: not enough interest to start with.

I’m trying to only message for logistics, but it seems like the way I do that kills any attraction I have cultivated so far. How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?

I don't think you created enough interest/attraction to start with, and critically: texting isn't going to change that.

You can offend / piss off / alienate a woman over texr... you can fuck up logistics... but you can't build much attraction over text. Maybe a tiny bit. Not much.

It's fairly easy to get a number. But a day later, you're another guy texting her, you're not the exciting attractive guy in front of her anymore. To meet up she'd actually have to do something, get up, go somewhere, not do some other thing.

Wherever you get to in person, that has faded when you text her. And faded a bit more by the time you meet her again.

Where I'm going with this: you've got more attraction building to do in person. You escalate then and there if you can.... if not, don't "get number and come up with plan later".

Vastly better: "Hey, we should do X cool thing together" / vaguely interested female excitement / "Yeah, cool, so this weekend I'm free" / "vaguely positive female noises" / "Great stuff, we'll do it, we're gonna have such a blast.... hey, give me your number so we can sort logistics".

the point is: interesting plan, number as a problem solver for arranging logistics. After that, you're just low key following up on the plan, or rearranging, or it dies. No text game needed, no game playing.... just simple, arrange. If she expresses doubt, you have to find a way to take a step back, while also ideally selling it a bit. Hard line to walk, but not THAT hard.... "yeah, no I get you.... this weekend is a bit tight for me too.... I'll hit you up next week if I get chance".

Second issue I have is with my inner game. Some days I feel like the top of the world and I’m able to create some interest but more often than not, I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy.

Pretty normal. Do more hard things. Not just women, but the rest of life too.,

I’m curious how people have went from nothing into really embodying the mindset and having it become second nature. A lot of the times it feels like I’m faking it till I make it, or role playing a Chad essentially. Like two weeks ago I had a girl all over me at a wedding where I was able to do Kino and dance. But just yesterday, I was in a shit mindset because I was sick and had to deal with some work drama, so I fumbled 3 girls that had shown IOIs and I could practically hear them getting turned off from talking with them. My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?

just practice at this point .. and building an awesome life

Third problem is less a problem than a question about philosophy and where to focus effort. I’ve been reading a book about improving skills, and it essentially recommends focusing on one skill a year to master it.

yes

The first skill that came to mind was to work on game, but I feel like focusing so much on game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game.

also yes

So I thought about working on another skill, but I won’t get any better at game unless I actually game.

also also yes

My questions are, if you aren’t supposed to focus on women, yet you need to actually do game to get better at game, how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more?

focus on learning how to get an seduce women. it's a great thing to learn. you can work on lifting and earning more at the same time.

lifting is constant.... low skill, high effort, great results in 6 months to a year. game: 3 months to 2 years. earning money: 1 week to 20 years. Do all of it.

It feels like a big catch 22. So should I not focus on game at all and instead put more energy into upgrading other skills? I’m so behind in dating/life (31 and just had my first lay a couple of months ago), that I would think I would have to make a concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.

Make the effort with girls, but not at the expense of earning and lifting. You've got decades. Focus on it, but not exclusively. 10 hours a week is plenty.

Answering my own questions: 1) The way I’ve been improving my in person game is practice, but I feel like that’s a waste of leads when I have so few interactions lead to numbers which then lead to nothing.

It always leads to nothing until it doesn't.

My current thoughts are to use AI and customize my messages after that.

no. work out what you want, and just go after that, and burn that shit to the ground in getting it.

"Hey, great to meet you at XXX the other day" / "oh... cool... yeah, you too I guess" / "Right, so about XYZ bar - you free Saturday?" / "err maybe, not sure" / "Cool, I'll hit you up Saturday if I get free and see what we're both up to".

I mean, it's not that hard if she's into you, and it's impossible if she's not. So give her chance to be into you in person, and set up the next meeting then and there.

What I will say though is this: if she really likes you, she'll hate that you're leaving her and wanting a number instead of sticking around. Women can be very short term / childlike sometimes.

2) Right now I think this is where practice does make perfect. I think it’s a positive feedback loop of learning that acting like I don’t give a fuck and sexual with these chicks actually sometimes does lead to success, which I previously never would of thought.

yes

3) My instinct is to not focus on game but still make a dedicated effort to approach.

do both

If I just focus on upgrading a skill, that doesn’t lead to any success with women by itself, since I usually fall into a BP mindset of not doing anything unless I put actual effort into it,

right. so put effort in,

but if I make it my main effort it would make me desperate and the opposite of an abundance mindset. So I guess it’s just about balance.

part of this shit is learning how to move things forward without feeling desperate.

Hey y’all, I’m running into a couple of roadblocks that I’m having trouble overcoming. I’ve kept on lifting, reread the sidebar, and am about to restart The Book of Pook.

The first one is texting. While I seem to be getting better in general at in person game, I constantly seem to fumble any type of texting. I’ve managed to get a couple numbers or a little bit of interest, but I manage to kill that interest while messaging. I haven’t been able to create enough interest before getting a number to go straight to logistics it seems. I’m trying to only message for logistics, but it seems like the way I do that kills any attraction I have cultivated so far. How do I get better at texting without wasting the numbers I do get?

Second issue I have is with my inner game. Some days I feel like the top of the world and I’m able to create some interest but more often than not, I act and feel like my old self, falling into ways that kill attraction and make me feel like a pussy. I’m curious how people have went from nothing into really embodying the mindset and having it become second nature. A lot of the times it feels like I’m faking it till I make it, or role playing a Chad essentially. Like two weeks ago I had a girl all over me at a wedding where I was able to do Kino and dance. But just yesterday, I was in a shit mindset because I was sick and had to deal with some work drama, so I fumbled 3 girls that had shown IOIs and I could practically hear them getting turned off from talking with them. My question is how do you make it so all this becomes second nature?

Third problem is less a problem than a question about philosophy and where to focus effort. I’ve been reading a book about improving skills, and it essentially recommends focusing on one skill a year to master it. The first skill that came to mind was to work on game, but I feel like focusing so much on game would lead to disappointment, as it essentially puts women on a pedestal where in order to win, you have to be successful at game. So I thought about working on another skill, but I won’t get any better at game unless I actually game. My questions are, if you aren’t supposed to focus on women, yet you need to actually do game to get better at game, how are you supposed to get better at game if you’re main focuses are on shit that improves your life, like lifting and earning more? It feels like a big catch 22. So should I not focus on game at all and instead put more energy into upgrading other skills? I’m so behind in dating/life (31 and just had my first lay a couple of months ago), that I would think I would have to make a concentrated effort on game in order to be where I’d like to be.

Answering my own questions: 1) The way I’ve been improving my in person game is practice, but I feel like that’s a waste of leads when I have so few interactions lead to numbers which then lead to nothing. My current thoughts are to use AI and customize my messages after that. 2) Right now I think this is where practice does make perfect. I think it’s a positive feedback loop of learning that acting like I don’t give a fuck and sexual with these chicks actually sometimes does lead to success, which I previously never would of thought. 3) My instinct is to not focus on game but still make a dedicated effort to approach. If I just focus on upgrading a skill, that doesn’t lead to any success with women by itself, since I usually fall into a BP mindset of not doing anything unless I put actual effort into it, but if I make it my main effort it would make me desperate and the opposite of an abundance mindset. So I guess it’s just about balance.