@newguy177

Question on "bad guys" keeping women hooked

I was at a colleague's place a few days back.

We were just chatting about random stuff and topic of relationships of came up. While she was hesitant of sharing this at first, she eventually shared about one of her bad flings from one of her previous jobs.

Apparently, as per her, this guy was a manager from a different team and would only call her/reach out to her during night - only for sex. Apart from that, he was mostly cold to her, wouldn't reply to messages quickly, wouldn't even initiate conversations, etc.

Eventually, she ended up pregnant and had to abort. He didn't help during this time either, and she had to carry out all things for abortion all on her own too.

While she was telling me this, she seemed disappointed and angry at herself for being foolish. That she spent so much time and went through so much for someone who didn't give two fucks about her.

While I'm not exactly new to trp, but i'm only now in a position to do more applied stuff regularly.

I've heard some similar stories from my other circles as well. Basically, women putting up with what I'd consider just crass and shockingly cruel behaviour, just to have to the tingles of emotions.

My understanding about this comes from the Lover vs Provider dynamic.

"Bad" Guys show/have behavior and skills that demonstrate evolutionary fitness:

• Risk-taking ability
• Fearlessness
• Better physique
• Humour
• Social Skills
• Confidence
• Power

Usually very opposite to the billy beta, the provider good boy, who can only provide things security, emotional undestanding, monetary resources, etc.

And so, for short term relationships (or even long term relationships if they are able secure them), women only prefer to go for guys that demonstrate the lover side of behaviors.

Would this be a correct understanding? Or am I missing some other pieces here?

You maybe missing a lot, but that's really only something time, knowledge, and experience can remedy. Be patient with yourself. There are plenty of #books, blogs, and youtube video archives you can check out to get informed. As for her, it reads like your colleagues depressed and brought it on herself. This starts to happen when the men she prefers start looking through her, not at her.

You're kind of wrong that the guy had no f#$ks to give, though. If anything, from what you've shared of what she told you, f#$ks were about all the guy was ever going to give someone he'd concluded as being only worth a lay. Unfortunately, her earlier rejection of the sage advice that most girls receive, that they should never freely give their milk away to men who're not willing to buy the cow, is why that's all she would ever get from him and similarly inclined guys.

@lurkerhasarisen

This is in response to what Polishknight wrote. Strictly speaking he was correct: "...A pretty-but-broke woman can make millions on OF or at least get a free dinner." That’s true in the same sense that a gas station scratch-off ticket can win you 25 million dollars or 25 cents. But the odds of winning 25 cents are astronomically higher.

We in the RP community talk a lot about how an attractive young women has abundant options (even an average young woman has a quantity of options comparable to those of a male rock star), but the number who can REALLY cash in is infinitesimally small. The median OF chick makes nothing at all. Considering that the time she wastes making content with a $0 ROI could be used to make coffee at Starbucks, doing OF is a net expense for most of the women who do it.

The best way for a woman to achieve financial success is to be the kind of woman a financially successful man would marry.

...or hire.

My 80yo Conservative Boomer Mom messaged me that she's feeling depressed about the Blue Tsunami election results, and lamented that "We refuse to learn from our mistakes so I guess we'll just have to try Socialism once again to prove to ourselves that it doesn't work."

Le sigh; we long ago tacitly agreed to disagree on Politics because Fox/Limbaugh talking points don't hold their own when you have to support them against earnest challengers instead of just going to commercial after a long rant and mic drop. She'll legit cry and eat a box of grocery store donuts if I answer, no matter how tenderly because elderly Mom.

Anyway, Reality right now feels like living through the long slog of an Ayn Rand novel wherein the world is falling apart around the Elite Technocrat main characters because of Socialism. Only, in this reality, these very Technocrats are the ones already in charge, and the world is falling apart for the masses because of the exact opposite of Socialism, Laissez-Faire Capitalism, currently works as an engine concentrating wealth and power upward to these top few as opposed to downward toward the masses. In other words, the very solution she held up, turns out to CAUSE the exact dystopia she used 644,000 words to exhaustively describe. Basically, the mythos that modern Conservatism is built upon, stands demonstrably and today blatantly obviously, objectively false to its very foundations, and the reality of this becomes ever harder to deny or effectively challenge.

America's two party system sucks. It locks everyone into an artificial dialectic wherein if you disagree on a given topic, you MUST therefore represent an extreme caricature of the opposite party. There's no place in this paradigm for anyone outside it; for example myself aligning closest to Libertarian values that generally go fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I can get both strong Ds and Rs angrily REEEE-ing and pushing me away within 30 seconds of diving into a serious discussion of current events vis a vis politics.