Hi all, I’ve got a girl who I could potentially start a relationship with here. I wanted to hear some thoughts from more experienced members of the community.

My background: I’m a 31M, been at least somewhat RP aware since 2021. I used to be a total 0 with girls, late term virgin, all that. So naturally never had an actual GF. But been able to get a few short term things here and there since then. I’ve been poking around at venues by myself on the side and have another high IoI prospect off on the horizon, but that’s it for other women in my life right now.

About us: I’ve been seeing the girl (26F) about 6 weeks. We met at a hobby group, I gave her a challenge, told her she would win a drink if she did it, and she did. So I took her out dancing. Since then, a mix of dancing, other meetings, and of course bedroom activities. When she asked early in, I told her I am not looking for a relationship right now and want to stay casual. She was ok with it at the time.

She is very flirty and touchy with me outside of sex. She also came to my place to cook for me when I was sick and had me over for dinner twice (which again she cooked). When we go out, we are 50/50 on cost, by her own insistence. She works in corporate and is somewhat feminist and liberal and all that, but not to the point of blue hair and asking me to read Virginia Wolfe. I also like that we come from a somewhat similar ethnic background (both children of immigrants, both at least part Asian). Despite being liberal, I also think she is much smarter and more reasonable than the majority of girls (and people) I’ve come to know.

Interesting kicker: She says was a virgin before meeting me. I know the usual “women lie about body count” stuff, but from what I’ve seen, I actually do believe she was, from how awkward and unknownledgable she is in the bedroom ways. She says she has been in 2 relationships, one with a Christian dude who wanted to wait till marriage, the other a dude who she kissed and did hand stuff with (she said, without me asking). From what I see, she followed a study hard -> corporate nun path without much dating or partying, due to Covid in the middle. I’ve heard all about pair bonding, virginity, and how taking too many dicks ruins bonding, hence why I’m writing so much about it.

The dynamic between us is that she thinks I’m much more experienced than her and that I’m “a player” and “mysterious”, which I will certainly continue to play off of.

Very recently, she told me that she would want to hear if I do fuck another woman on the side honestly, but that she would be hurt and she does want commitment, and is worried that I’m just using her for sex. I told her that as a guy I like being able to sleep with other girls when I want, but that I do value my time with her outside sex and feel a connection with her, all of which I really believe, myself.

She cried a bit but I was able to assuage her that I wasn’t going to just suddenly poof out of her life, and she said she would table the commitment talk a few 3 months. We then fucked the next morning lol.

Obviously, I’ve at least bought myself time. I’m open to the idea of a non-marriage relationship, as I’ve never been in one, and don’t want to give up my commitment easily or too quickly. But I’ve also never really had to seriously vet or consider a GF, as I knew for sure in my past stuff I wasn’t going to LTR the girls.

What does the community think here? Is this a solid prospect to start off with? And am I overvaluing taking her virginity?

TLDR: been casually seeing a girl who is a few years younger than me for 6 weeks. I’ve got no LTR experience. Took her virginity. I enjoy spending time with her both in and out of the bedroom. She is pushing for commitment, will want a decision in 3 months. Is she a solid prospect to proceed? And am I overvaluing her virginity?

Attempt to answer myself: I should use the time I’ve bought to keep vetting her, and not immediately throw her in the LTR or casual only piles. In the meantime, I should explore that one other peripheral prospect and find others, and fuck them if possible. And be honest with this girl in this post if I do, part to not be a liar and part to test her attraction for me.

She already gave you head barely knowing you.

I think she could possibly be being genuine that it's a social norm that isn't normal in her culture, still clearly ignoring her culture to blow you anyway, and also realizing she has to rationalize it. I think all of these things can be true at the same time

She still has you over so she's not being congruent with her own words

Then fact she blew you at yours but not her place make some think she is managing her reputation at hers. I wouldn't be surprised if she has family that comes by or something. I don't think this is your fault, I think some of these cultural chicks will act like freaks when they have independence and low risk of social ostracism and then become prudes when people in their culture can find out they're being sluts

I don't think this is your fault, this is however why in game you're supposed to avoid going to a woman's place. You have no home field advantage at a woman's house and have to contend with every little bullshit insecurity they have

It's possible she just feels too slutty in general in a compromiseable personal setting. I've even noticed this with women o banged every day of the week suddenly becoming prudes in their own house because of various bullshit reasons

My guess is locational ASD, not ASD specific to you. A lot of women also won't fuck on their period unless you make it abundantly clear you don't care that they are on their period.

I always tell women I don't care and like how turned on women are on their period. I spin the period angle onto making women feel sexy about how aroused they are when they're on it, I don't mention the blood or anything. If they mention it I just say I don't care it just washes off anyway or an earn my wings joke or whatever

You're unfortunately dealing with a woman on her own cultural home turf while she's probably embarrassed about her period. That's two strikes that have nothing to do with you. You can either find a way to tell her the period doesn't bother her while telling assuring her no one she knows would find out and that she should enjoy herself while you're still there (at most, that's if it comes up as a conversation).

I think this is personally going to be an annoying hassle to overcome but if you can thread these needles in a completely natural way she might fuck.

I'm not sure you could have avoided these facts but in the future if you know you're dealing with either try to minimize them and let the chick know either are completely fine and no one will know etc

I'll respond when I have a better opportunity, that being said exclusivity should always be a step before a relationship

That way you can vet a woman before you attach a label and she still has something to lose.

Guys don't say it much since so many men just go from fucking to "what are we?" And immediately fold into a label.

Whatever you do, understand that no-label exclusive dating can and should be a step before an actual label or official relationship because you can see how she actually behaves with rules and standards and if she stops respecting you as much cause she thinks she's got you hooked.

A lot of men skip mere exclusivity between casual plating/FWB and a relationship status, you shouldn't skip it if you're serious about vetting more. It's an olive branch per se if you want more time to vet without a solid woman getting anxious and breaking but without folding your power or labels away.

Also, an LTR is about two years of dating. Getting into a relationship in the first place doesn't make it an LTR. Long term relationship means long term. You can't possibly know if a relationship will be long term merely by getting into a relationship.

It's a frequently misused acronym on here. Should just be "relationship" if referring to a new relationship.