it feels somewhat disingenuous to start going to church primarily as a way of finding a girlfriend.

Are you Christian or not? Why would the primary goal of going to church be finding a girlfriend? Would you not go there if there were no girls?

Regarding the type of woman you want, a large proportion of them are already in relationships. Such women make for attractive partners so they get taken off the market quickly, and if they value all the things you stated then why would they break up?

I don't know if that type of woman actually congregates in any particular place. Going to church doesn't automatically make you chaste. But you are likely looking for younger girls who don't drink or party much. The ones you may not notice immediately as they are more quiet and less extroverted than the others. There are no guarantees though.

I'm a 23M Christian, and I've been trying to figure out how people actually go about finding women who hold more traditional values when it comes to dating, relationships, family, etc.

Get a time machine.

Seriously though - it can't be done. Not fully. The whole world has changed, and that changes everyone within it.

For instance......if you get married..... she knows, for the entire time you are together, that she can leave and you have to pay her for the privilege. Imagine what that does to her motivations.

Even while dating, she knows what her options and alternatives are. Available to her for the cost of a swipe, at zero social cost.

Imagine what that does to her motivations to make things work with you.

That being said, there are people who want to date, have a relationship and maybe a family one day. It can be done. But don't go into it blind. Traditional Christian values are very female-centric when you think about it.

I don't necessarily mean someone who is politically conservative across the board. I'm more talking about women who value things like commitment, loyalty, family, marriage, traditional relationship dynamics, femininity, etc.

Ohhhhhhhhh, you're thinking of dogs.

Seriously though - women do not value anything from men. They may want things, but they do not value things. Not really, not properly. To value something is to be willing to pay for it. Women expect to receive, not to give. They do not value. They demand, they expect, they complain. But they do not value.

The things you mention are mostly dead in 2026. Mostly.

I'm fairly libertarian myself and don't expect someone to agree with me on every political issue. I'm mainly interested in finding someone whose general values and idea of relationships are compatible with mine.

Today's women are corrupted by the infinite choice of the swipe machine.

The problem I'm running into is that it seems like traditional values can be pretty difficult to find in the modern dating scene,

Yes.

Although finding anything in the modern dating scene is hard too.

But traditional values....... I just can't see it.

especially among younger people. And when you do find someone who seems to share those values, it can be difficult to tell from the outset.

Yes.

I'm Christian, and obviously church is one place where you're more likely to encounter women with traditional values,

Um. If you say so.

but it feels somewhat disingenuous to start going to church primarily as a way of finding a girlfriend.

Absolutely, I disagree with you here. If that's where those women are, and that's what you want, and (despite everything we say here), you think you can make that work - then go to church to get a girlfriend. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. You are applying a very strange morality to limit yourself.

So for those of you who have actually managed to find a traditional woman to date or marry: where did you meet her? Dating apps?

On dating apps, "traditional values" means "pay for my children".

Social groups?

Best chance

Hobbies?

Second best chance.

Church?

Maybe

Friends of friends?

Maybe.

Some particular online community? Reddit even?

Unlikely.

And for those who have had the same problem, how have you gone about finding people who share those values without having to wade through enormous numbers of people who are fundamentally incompatible?

I'm not looking for a political debate about whether traditional values are good or bad. I'm more interested in hearing from people who have actually navigated this and figured out where these women tend to be.

Well, this is not what I've ever looked for, so I'm dipping out here.

She talks about the most mundane aspects of adult life as if “not being homeless” while being a member of the most privileged group in history is some great achievement. Let’s see… her “flex” is that those women have jobs that allow them to live indoors and eat food.

Well isn’t that special? For a 30-something woman who’s been handed every privilege imaginable since birth that’s apparently praiseworthy, stunning, and brave. For most adult men that’s Tuesday.

Also, given the debt load most of those women carry, her claim that their lives are self-funded is insane. It’s bad enough that even mids feel entitled to exclusivity from the tiny minority of men who won the genetic lottery, but now regular guys have to compete with Bank of America to give her the luxury lifestyle she thinks she deserves.

Sorry, hon, but if you’re carrying a six-figure balance on your education loans and a five-figure balance on your credit cards, and your car isn’t paid off, and your parents are helping you with your bills, you are most certainly not paying your own way.