I can't help but wonder: What are the goals of these women? Why do they want a relationship in the first place?

At 39, you are unlikely to have biological children, so building a family seems an unlikely goal. I guess she can adopt, though?

She already earns a comfortable amount of money. It sounds like she can follow the male script, invest wisely and have enough money for retirement when she is too old to work herself.

There seems to be no illusions about magical fairytale love. There are no mentions of personality related attributes. All that matters is height, wealth, and location.

So she doesn't really need a man, yet she is desperate enough to hire help to find one. The implication I am left with is money and status is the goal. She wants someone to fund her early retirement by becoming a stay-at-home wife, while gaining the social status of being married.

But that just seems so unbelievably shallow, and honestly somewhat exploitative. And bad for her. She can live a perfectly good life on her own and can likely support her parents by herself. Yet she instead chooses to invest her time and effort into this most likely fruitless endeavor.

But she doesn't need to be unhappy. She won the game she set out to play! Enjoy what you have, woman, instead of yearning for the impossible, and your life would probably be much better for it.

blah blah blah

This has got to be the most annoying job for women there is. Your success literally depends on convincing other women to "settle".

I'd love to hear how these convos go in private. "Yeah, I know, he only makes $10k, and I know you said you wanted $680,000 minimum, but take it from me, he looks great and seems like he'll make a great dad!"

Her female clients will only let themselves be convinced if

• She somehow establishes herself as more beautiful and successful with men
• Is brutal with truth bombs (the older matchmakers who don't pull punches)

Most will opt for the former, which means putting forth the appearance of success with men.

Then for the few "eligible" men she finds, she has to be a realtor pawning off a crappy house. "It leaks a bit and needs some TLC, but the location is great! Adjacent to the town dump and Title V passed!"

heated argument.

Do not argue with women. State your case, listen to hers. If she raises her voice, attacks you verbally or says anything argumentative you say "we'll talk about this when you can talk in a nice way" and you walk away.

Do not argue. The more emotional the discussion the more you've lost. It's that simple.

I initially brushed this break up as a temporary blip as it was after a heated argument. She came back after 10 weeks no contact wanting a fresh start, but after a few good dates, she immediately said "something is missing" again. What do I do.

There is no such thing as a temporay blip. Every walking away or heated argument is eroding your relationship and trust in each other.

The History: We dated for 5 months. She was incredibly invested, she moved to a different country. I ended it because I didn't want to do long-distance. She was heartbroken over it

We reconnected when she moved back. However, she was never the same to how she was before. She was a lot colder and noticeably less invested then me. Which was surprising as before the energy was probably 80% her 20% me. Now it was more like 30% her 70% me.

Probably because of the being heartbroken before, and then moving on. So she stays in the moved on phase, to protect self from pain.

Because of this, I started inviting females to hang out with. (tried to run dread game as I knew she was not as invested as me. this didn't benefit our relationship). After a heated argument, she said "something was missing" and we broke up. I initially brushed this break up as a temporary blip as it was after a heated argument. She then went abroad for 10 weeks.

Right

I went no contact. She reached out twice saying she misses me and she wants to chat when she was back. I reached out when she landed and ended up meeting for a chat.

Yeah... urgh.... "something is missing but I won't let you move on"

We met up, agreed to try again, she said she cleared all her grudges and was ready to start fresh after her trip away. She felt she was never able to do that before and hated me after I ended things in long distance. I took her out on an amazing date, bought flowers and some gifts.

urgh.... full on beta provider. urgh. fuck dude. fuck.

The date went great, but the next morning she hit me with the same line: "Something is missing." Her mind changes with the wind. Last week she says she wants to try again, now she says something is missing. She has a lot of friends which give their 2 cents to her; and she lets her friends sway her saying to not go back there with me.

Ok.,,,

I told her not to make a rushed decision and to think about it. Without speaking with her friends. I love her, but I feel like I'm stuck waiting around for her to decide. I know the advice will be to walk away. But I do love this girl so it's hard. Do I send a text saying its over or go cold? Or try message her and make things work? I know TRP and would never behave like this normally; situation has me cooked I initially brushed this break up as a temporary blip as it was after a heated argument. She came back after 10 weeks no contact wanting a fresh start, but after a few good dates, she immediately said "something is missing" again. What do I do.

She will continue to do this, nothing will change.

This is the internet. I can say whatever I want.

That cuts both ways, sweaty.

I absolutely love how many of these "strong, independent women" (btw @polishknight - I'm going to do a quick review of the flair guide and maybe reflair to that one depending on what each says) realize that working like a man actually sucks. What's even sadder is that most of them don't even work as hard. Yes, I've known a few who do, but they're the exceptions and not the norm. Yet at 35, which is way too old for a woman to say "I'm ready to start a family" but still young enough that she's not even halfway to retirement yet, she's already sick of working.

LMAO, when I was 36, I got into what was a brand new trade and career for me. It was my second career change, and I was a year older than her and just starting back out. Yes, I'm sick of working too at 46 now, but I've been doing shit-tons of overtime for the past decade. I could easily do 40 hour weeks until my mid-50s or early 60s. I'm mostly just sick of 50, 60+ hour weeks.

So when I hear a 35 year old, who probably only has only ever worked 40 hours per week, and most likely in an air conditioned office environment, whining like she is in the video, allow me a little "too fucking bad, sweaty! this is what your sisterhood fought so hard for! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"

How do I end this for good without angering her enough to escalate?

This should tick most of the boxes for closure without rejection:

"Yeah, things are starting to work out with her. And for the record she isn't that fat ;) I really value the connection you and I had, which I know makes no sense... but the heart wants what the heart wants. Or maybe other parts ;) How about you, seeing anybody?"

How do I prevent her from showing up at my place or my family's?

unlikely unless she is a stalker.

if she IS a stalker or shows those tendencies you have to completely cut her off and not respond or react to anything she says or does, ever. Zero contact.

Most normal women won't go all stalkery. Mostly.

How do I prevent her from contacting people in my circle and letting things leak out? How do I protect my girlfriend from finding out?

You cannot fully protect yourself from this: you did a thing, someone else knows, and you are now vulnerable to her sharing this if she chooses to. You cannot fully control this.

I'm aware this situation is my own fault – still looking for the most realistic way out.

Be nice and honest and good to this girl unless she shows stalker tendencies.