Yesterday went out with a group of friends and my ex from 10 years was there. She was laughing at all my jokes, had the puppy eyes look so I texted her today to meetup to watch a movie together, she said who is coming. I told her us two. 3 if you count the neighbor's dog. We entered the flat, we talked for a minute and then i put on the movie but there was no kino during that time. THen during the movie, i out my hand around her and rested my head on hers.

While watching the movie, went for the first kiss but she moved away her face. Shoe moved a bit away and after a while I went again ( I thought it was ASD). We kissed for a bit and then she said i don't feel it's right (I think i should have agreed and amplified but honestly i still don't know what i should have done else) so I stopped and then after that I tried to reinitiate and we kissed for even logner so then i slowly started to caress tit and she was surprised but I felt like she liked it but she moved away. After the movie we started talking about how are things as it was years since we have seen each other. She is a shy person and it took her an hour to articulate that she doesn't want to see anyone now, she doesn't know my intentions and let's just be friends. I don't know what doesnt know my intentions means. I'm not robbing a bank. I just wanna fuck and have fun while we're together.

I feel so good that I tried. I'm not pissed off but I'm proud that I tried. It's been years since I tried something. I want to know where I was lacking. My next aim is to get comfortable getting rejected a i have a deep fear of rejection. So I hve to force myself to approach and talk to women even though I know it will feel uncomfortable for the first approaches.

It's really hard to fuck an ex again. The one time I was able to it wasn't worth it

Once they've filed you away into an emotional sewer in their brain, it is really hard to get them in bed again and it's never as good as it used to be

The one time I did it I felt like robot during the act. My mood about it was draining and I felt like a soulless mannequin fucking this chick that had since taken dicks that weren't mine since the last time we fucked. I was partially checked out during

It wasn't that enjoyable and took 4-5 makeouts after the venue we happened to both go to closed to get that one lay

While she was over she overtly said she wanted to cancel but thought I'd be mad. Before we fucked half an hour later she said "I don't know if we shou.... Nevermind ' as we were escalating. The whole time before that she was texting her attorney over a family matter and it was clear her mind was on stress and not present on me

That same night we went to the venue we went to regularly and she disappears an hour or so into it after acting weird so I dance with other women

I later find her talking to the same guy she betrayed me over the previous year that had originally been the reason we stopped seeing each other anyway. She talks to him for two fucking hours one on one before her and her sister drive him to his house. She almost didn't even say bye to me passing me after I nutted straight in her just hours earlier.

All that work just to fuck this former FWB who I initially stopped seeing over a guy who was "just a friend" that she went home with in front of me just to basically do the same thing with the same guy the same day I managed to not only fuck her again but fill her up with my nut knowing she'd already taken plenty of new dicks since me the year prior

Not to mention, I hadn't even seen this guy for a year since that one incident before it, and you have to wonder if she deliberately invited him out that night in particular considering he didn't bring his truck for some reason (possibly ubered there to get them both drunk) and he had no history of really showing up except for her and it had been over a year since I last saw him show up

It's really not worth the ego lay man. You're only going to be fucking a worse version of the woman you used to fuck and have a connection with. Women almost never upgrade in between relationships outside of gold digging for a higher income bracket. They are virtually always older and less attractive and have been with worse men since you since you last saw each other and their soul is that much more gone by the time you fuck. And there is too much sewage under the bridge™ to even feel all that good

There is no reason to try to fuck an ex again, not even pride, any time reason tou can rationalize to fuck an ex again boils down to scarcity and misplaced ego