A comical truth about the Metric system...

@medstudentgerman2002

LTR becoming distant

She started almost a year ago as a plate, slowly ended up as a LTR. For a while I was still banging other girls on the side (was allowed to, but she was exclusive the whole time).

She used to worship me, cry often because she was scared I’d leave, would gift me flowers or come over at 2am. Sometimes she’d bitch at me if I woke her up early or something but I didn’t take it seriously because the power imbalance was clearly in my favor still.

But this easter weekend I was at home 4 days, got lazy and spent whole time with her just doing nothing. After 2-3 days she got kinda bitchy, we barely had sex, etc. On 4th day she “broke up with me” over some bs reason (happens occasionally, usually because she went through my phone/got jealous but this time it was just bc I didn’t clean or something). Unfortunately when she called 2 hours later all happy and said she loves me, I met up with her again (shittest failed, but at least she paid for food as apology). I got cold after that and she sent me a very long email next day with things I did wrong like flirting w other women, not replying in time etc.

But after this I realized that she’s been getting more bitchy the past 2 months, and even worse, she isn’t worshipping me anymore. She’ll just say reassuring stuff like “you’re the perfect man, don’t worry it’s not your fault I get bitchy”. Also she said she wants me to fuck other girls on the side again because it’d help the relationship.

What now? I told her I don’t want this relationship to keep going like this and I’m not settling for a semi-good relationship. I value my self respect and would leave her in a heartbeat if necessary but it would hurt losing her and I’d rather go back to when she worshipped me

Edit: Attempt to answer own Q: Get other chicks on my roster again, live without her for a few days and then see where she stands. Don’t make this a big deal, stop talking to her about breaking up just keep things chill

What's done is done. If this is the same female you mentioned a few weeks ago looking to marry you then it might be best to consider this as a another hard learned lesson on the consequences of failing to plan ahead.

I doubt she'd have taken issue with her time with you being limited to just Saturday and Sunday instead of the entire Easter holiday weekend. Four days is a lot of time to spend with a gal who's not your wife, or otherwise unrelated to you. What she experienced may have killed a lot of mystery about you in her mind and in so doing, diminish her interest in you. That might be good, if you're not interested in marrying anyone at all and was looking to boot her out of your presumed inventory of plates, she's self ejected enabling you to passively ghost. However, if you wanted to ride on the momentum of her desire for marriage and have a motivated companion with whom you could help better educate yourself on the subject, this maybe a difficult situation to salvage.

While you study the book and deal with your own mental health issues, it's best you leave her to process her thoughts on the last few days she spent with you. Being married to a doctor, while it may potentially grant her access to a man possessing status, earning a significant income, won't likely afford her a particularly exciting life. If she decides to move on, you lose nothing of value, as it only cost you four days you otherwise weren't using for anything important to discover how fickle she is.

@Mate1212

My gf and I are in a group of people. One guy is super jealous of me beeing here boyfriend. My gf told me that he talks shit about me behind my back. He doesn't has the balls to say it into my face. How do I deal with it?

He probably does this because he hopes we split so he can slip.

When asking here to don't talk with him, she will think there's a reason and it will probably backfire. What should I do?

My gf isn't attracted to him at all he's probably just a beta orbiter.

I liked him and helped him out on some stuff and he does such things. Man I could beat him up.

The next time he fails to succeed with your girl, consider turning him onto a reliable ready reference he can pick up and study to better prepare himself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you point him to Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. Tell this guy to review his advice column to decide if the views on dating and relationships are aligned with what he aspires for himself. To save him a search, give them this scribed link to gander at to find out if the book is something they'd like to add to their library. It should also be available on libgen.

Then let him know that while you appreciate his confirmation of your good taste in women, encourage him to go out there and get his own.

@Nich2022

Some advice needed. Oneitius? Guilt?

What’s up brothers, this may be bit of a long post but in need of some advice once again.

Have any of you ever felt the guilt, pain of losing a good woman, whatever that is to you? Knowing you were at fault, like in my case, a bit too “Alpha” and not enough “beta”.

To me, she was an 8, cooked, cleaned, wanted family/kids, didn’t have hoe friends, didn’t want to club, good family, sex was good. She was ok with me having sex with other women (then changed her mind on that) but realized she really didn’t want that lifestyle, silly like I liked, not a feminist, conservative, gym girl etc

But when I had her, I wasn’t fully present. I didn’t realize what I had until she fully walked away. We argued a lot, mainly about other women and other small things here and there. She claimed I undervalued her and didn’t really respect her nor did I want to compromise. No I wasn’t perfect. But I also wasn’t THAT bad. We had lots of fun, laughs, deep talks, sex, etc she liked me for a reason above all the other men she talked to before we got exclusive. She kept running back to me.

We argued about finance structure, decision making and she wanted equality in making big decisions and stuff like that.

Then when she walked away, I did the cardinal sin of chasing and trying to get her back, which seems like it made it worse. However, she did come running back but I was upset/egotistical and told her I needed some time to think. (This was in the span of 1 week).

Then by that time, long story short, she started dating other guys. Now she’s officially done. We talk here and there and I tried to get her back and the guilt is eating me up that my ego and lack of knowledge in LTR lost me an amazing woman. She was no saint as far as body count but she also was not a whore like many western women.

So now, she’s getting closer with these guys but why do I feel like I still have hope after she told me many times she cannot do it? Is it cause we’re still in contact? I’m having a hard time letting go. Oneitis?

It’s crazy because this isn’t myself, she always known me as the alpha type and this is what attracted her in the first place.

I have lots going on for myself, good job making over 6 figs, businesses picking back up, some side hustles, shredded, tons of hobbies, now becoming more emotionally intelligent and realizing it’s more than just being “alpha”. I’ve slept with close to 60 women if I had to guess.

I’m talking to a few women from dating apps and hooked up with one and I am going to start getting out here more but she’s still on my mind about “what if”, I wanted her to see the improved mental version of myself becuase tbh I could have did many things wayyyy better. And that is what’s eating me up. It’s eating me up becuase it’s hard to find good women like that. My confidence is shot because she turned so cold.

I get urges to text/call her and just try again. But now it’s almost like running into a brick wall unfortunately. I think the new guys she’s met are making her forget about me even quicker. But I still believe it was a reason she stayed this long in my life (3.5 years). I was her type, until I wasn’t.

I’ve definitely learned my lesson and maybe that’s why God allowed this to happen. Otherwise i probably would have been stuck in the ego loop of my way or the highway.

Any of you bros have had an experience like that? How did you get past it? Did you find someone better in your mind & forget about the ex? I’m 31 and this is a painful feeling. I appreciate tough love.

Side note: could these be because she is probably top 5 hottest women I’ve been with. Coupled with her personality.

My own answer: I need to accept this as a lesson, she was a great girl but that doesn’t mean I will not find another one. I should work on myself mentally and strive to find my own masculine identity independent of any woman becuase even if I did everything right, a woman can still leave. My ego was too big because I was getting everything I wanted and got too comfortable, emotionally. I should accept she’s no longer here and find other ways to fill my time and torch the past and not make the same mistake in next LTR.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

If a girl's looking for guys she might form exclusive relationships with and that's not at all what you're offering, you're not loosing anything by encouraging her to continue seeking out other guys looking for the same thing as her. It frees you to resume wrapping up your Johnson to dive between the next willing girls legs as you continue riding the dragon without any burdens or regrets. Why concern yourself with exclusive relationships when that's of no interest to you? Keep going until you reach the point where you sincerely desire something more fulfilling than just casual fornication on your own initiative.