Dildo store owner hires a new guy. On his first day, tells him, "I need to run too the bank, do you feel ready to watch the store? I'll be gone for 15 mins."

He says "sure, no problem."

Well as soon as the guy leaves, someone comes walking in, they're looking around. "How much for the white latex dildo?"

"$25."

"I'll take it!"

The customer gives him the money, he puts it in a bag and out they go.

Second person comes walking in, starts looking around. "How much for the big black one with all the veins?"

"$50"

"I'll take it!"

The customer gives him the money, he puts it in a bag and out they go.

Third person comes in. "Um, how much for the red and green plaid dildo?"

"Oh, um, $125"

"Ooh, well you only live once!"

The customer gives him the money, he puts it in a bag and out they go.

Fourth person, "Wow, how much for this fat red one?"

"Errr, uh, 125."

"My ass will never be the same" he says with confident overshare.

Owner comes back from the bank, says "Thank you so much for watching the store. Did you do any business while i was gone?"

"Actually i did. I got $25 For the white latex dildo, I Got $50 for the black one, And i got $125 each for your thermos and the fire extinguisher!"

A man goes to a bar and drinks to the point where he throws up all down his shirt. He says, "Aw, man, my wife's gonna kill me. She's always saying I don't know when to stop."

The bartender says, "Hey it's cool. Just stick a ten dollar bill in your front shirt pocket and say that someone threw up on you and they gave you ten dollars to pay for the dry cleaning."

The man says, "That's a really good idea." and heads home.

When he gets home his wife is waiting for him and immediately lays into him and he says, "No no no, you got it all wrong. Somebody threw up on me and they gave me this ten dollars to pay for the dry cleaning." and points to his shirt pocket

She reaches in and pulls out two ten dollar bills and says, "There's twenty dollars here."

The man replies, "Oh right, I forgot. He shit my pants, too."

@fumbor

Should I cut it off if I'm not physically attracted to her?

Hey guys, I’m 21 and met a 19-year-old girl last month who shares pretty much all the same interests as me. Emotionally and personality-wise, we connect really well.

The only issue is that she has zero experience. She’s never kissed anyone before and is really shy about physical affection. She told me she’s scared she’ll mess up or turn me off. I put my foot down a dew days ago and was honest with her, told her the lack of affection is starting to affect me and feels like a dealbreaker. She ended up breaking down and said she doesn’t want to seem desperate, but she’d do anything to make this work.

Here’s the thing, I’m not physically attracted to her. She’s not fat at all, just maybe a 4 or 5/10 but honestly feels like long-term material, but that physical chemistry just isn’t there for me. On the other hand, there’s another girl I’ve been seeing where the physical attraction is way stronger, but I don't connect with her as well and she does have quite a few more red flags.

I’m in a spot now where I feel like I have to choose. She told me if she kisses a guy and then gets broken up with she'll kill herself (maybe not literally but she is saving herself). I also feel like I have options as I'm good looking ( not as good looking as when I used to lift before working crazy hours), I am working in investment banking this summer and will likely go full-time next year, so I will be making six figs at a relatively young age (but no work life balance). I’ve spent maybe $300 on the first girl, so it's feeling like a money sink now. I'm just not excited to be around her but she'd be great LTR material.

Should I keep seeing the girl I connect with emotionally, even though I’m not that attracted to her? Would really appreciate some honest thoughts.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzliaVBQKDs