@MidgetSpinner @MidgetSpinner that poor bastard. I mean, almost all of us have been there at some point, missing an eager lay because we didn't see the signs until we already left.

I remember an episode of "Seinfeld" in which a woman invites George up to her apartment for coffee. He declines, saying something like, "eh, no thanks. It's way too late in the day for coffee. If I have some, I'll be up all night. Well, see ya!" Then maybe 30 seconds later as he's walking down the sidewalk, the realization hits him.

It happens to all of us at least once or twice (or several times, in younger me's case). I hope that OP dude learns from this and takes better advantage of his next opportunity.

Anyway, I still have to post this pic after reading all of his nerdular nerdence:

Is the RP a lie? (Repost for debate after deleted in AskTRP)

This will be a long one.

Everyone knows the story: the guy likes his high school friend, she says “let’s just be friends,” and dates the athletic guy. Fine. But an uncomfortable amount of RP “theory” seems to be built on from that one common scenario.

Now look at the broader reality.

Put 30 students in a classroom. The large majority—80–90%—will date, hook up, and form relationships without needing a philosophy to guide them. The “LJBF” scenario applies to a minority, maybe 10–20%. And even within that group, give it a few years. By their early 20s, almost all of them have figured it out through normal social exposure. No endless self-optimization loop required.

So what actually separates that minority? Often, it’s not some deep, immutable flaw. It’s context and visibility. One stop being invisible.

In my case, I went through rejection and bullying in school by 14. Then I did a taekwondo presentation at that same school. Suddenly people knew me. Girls talked to me. But nothing fundamental had changed—I was the same person. Then i changed school, and people in the new one talked to me as a normal person, and there i saw some "other me's(other students, who already had their "place" there being ostracized). No dramatic “self-improvement arc.” Just a shift in how I was perceived/was placed.

That’s where RP starts to go nuts: Most people don’t “win” dating through strategy. They grow into it by being socially integrated. They end up in normal, stable relationships—and if not stable, friends are enough to say "wake up, break up".

Meanwhile, RP turns dating into a permanent grind: optimize yourself endlessly while developing a generalized rage at women, usually based on slices of past experiences. There’s no finish line—just more “work” and more resentment when "it's not working"/"she don't want you but other".

Look at the content ecosystem: half “go to the gym,” half “look how women are. If you are not getting it, then you go back to grind” That’s not a framework for success, it’s a feedback loop trough despair.

So the real question is:

Why does one group move on and build normal lives, while another stays stuck analyzing the same early experiences for years? At some point, it stops being about reality and starts being about identity (aka basically all Youtubers nowadays, 50 book volumes of the same author, blaming "the system", etc.)

Trough observation, and filtering ask TRP answers, people don’t need a doctrine to date with a bunch of "iron rules". They just need effective exposure and a functional life, including a social environment where they can flow.