I don't understand your logic, you post about not finding a solid woman and then get one I assume you think is solid and you bungle it

You clearly have some kind of self sabotage mechanism that you haven't been telling us in your posts over the years. You also can't simultaneously really love your girlfriend and resent women.

That's not how that that works. You're never going to have the capacity to love a woman while resenting most of them.

Don't hate the players, hate the game. Your anger is valid but misdirected. If the game is shit, players will abuse it, same as women. You have to love them for who they are, and if you're resentful at all, be it at the game which allows it

You know better than to ask a should I? So you're getting flaired for it

To answer your question:

If you end up being with her the rest of your life (hypothetically but I doubt this will last) you will have to bite your tongue the rest of your life and always act paranoid, you'll end up projecting and accusing her of cheating, and will have shame on every high note.

If you regret it but won't ever do it again then you could hide it but it bothers you so you'll never act normal and have to painstakingly skirt around it forever

Two, you can tell her, get it over with, but she might leave, cheat, or stay and it will never be the same

You guys need to think 5 seconds into the future past your ego and have some frame

You are jacked and rich, why was your frame so weak that you had to get piss drunk over a minor argument with a woman

You guys need to stop getting yourselves into preventable dilemmas

I would tell her, not for moral virtue, but because having to maintain a lie for years is fucking exhausting and gay. And if it bothers you this much, you should learn not to do it again.

Unfortunately you got yourself into a petty situation where you have no clear risk free win on the table and it's of your own making

My girlfriend and I have been dating five months, exclusive for almost two. We have an otherwise good relationship.

She’s an high quality girl, no doubt. After a minor disagreement, I got drunk and had a one-night stand with a random gal I met at the bar. It meant nothing emotionally, and I regret it. Totally uncalled for.

I do really care about my girlfriend, don’t want to lose her, and would never cheating again. I’m struggling with a lot of guilt and shame tho

I don’t want to tell her because I believe it would devastate her and likely end our relationship. But I also recognize that keeping it secret denies her the choice. I ultimately see almost zero upside to telling her other than absolving myself of the guilt

Is it possible to move forward from this or is telling her the only ethical option?

Let's address the first big problem with all of this:

You're stuck in this LARPing dominant alpha trope. If you look at everything you wrote, there is an underlying problem with the way you handle things. That problem is you are not taking the lead at all.

You're waiting for her to initiate sex and do everything for you.

You're withdrawing time and attention that you're not giving her in the first place. She's thrown out several comfort tests and you haven't passed a single one. You don't have to marry a girl, but after 2 years she is invested and you've shown that you aren't. Aren't doesn't matter how tough you are or how dominant you think you are, it comes off as looking autistic. She knows that you're not interested and she gave up. It's plain and simple. She's looking for a little bit of connection and a little bit of commitment. If you don't want to give that to her, let her go. If she's not giving to you what you want and she's not getting what she wants. Wants. This is a fundamental incompatibility.

Without actually giving comfort or giving a baseline of commitment, your retention rate for women is going to be zero.

When you declined to see her as a punishment, you pretty much torched your connection.

She might come over for sex on occasion but her enthusiasm for you is officially torched.

I suggest moving on and getting more comfortable with providing some sort of comfort. Doing that sort of thing is not going to kill you.

You're way too in your head about this

Women will literally fuck you and have loud sex when a prospective tenant has his parents with him touring a house of a room you're renting, and ask you if you can bang in the kitchen while everyone is asleep.

What makes you think women give a shit if you have your own house next to your parents. They don't live with you.

It's YOUR own house. Your problem is completely invented and fabricated out of whole cloth in your mind, and the level of paranoia and anxiety you have about it is a turn off for women.

You post about this like it's a logistical problem but, it turns out it's a problem with your own neuroticism

You say your parents are holed up in their house so there is no reason for them to bother you. Just pull chicks and stop messing up your logistics over a nothing issue.

All of this is in your head. First, you live in the house next to your parents, not literally with them. They aren’t paying for your shit and you have your own space, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about on that front.

———

If you are good looking and fun to be around, girls will like you and will be down to smash, including the good ones. Your parents living near you really doesn’t matter.

In fact, if you’re really hoping to find a girl worthy of your commitment, I’d like to imagine that she would respect your decision to be near your parents as they get older. Family values and all that. I’m assuming you consider a family-oriented attitude in a woman as a plus.

———

Last thing I’d like for you to consider. Why do you feel obligated to help your parents? If they’ve ruined your life and squandered a fortune, there really isn’t much left for you. I don’t mean just money, but your relationship with them. If they have been a net negative in your life, why are you going out of your way to help?

I don’t like to get into therapy speak, but I’d like for you to consider why you feel like you owe your parents. Some kind of past trauma from your childhood? Family manipulating you with guilt? Do you have a covert contract with your parents?

A friend of mine who has a strong relationship with his parents told me something his father said to him once.

“You are always welcome to stay with us. We will always pay for your food and offer you a bed. Not because we want you to take care of us when we get old. We do it so you can give food and a bed to your kids one day, if you choose to have them.”

None of what my friend’s dad said was about guilt or covert contracts. This man chose to provide for his family out of his own generosity, not because he thought he would one day get something out of it.

Think real hard about why you feel like you have to re-work your life for them OP.