I would also add the concept of conditional femininity. Many of these boss babes can be feminine. Hell, some of them are extremely submissive in bed. But only for the "right" guy. That is, if you are a millionaire Tom Cruise look alike, they will happily wear lace lingerie and speak in their baby girl voice. But the minute you fail to meet their standards, they turn back into a shrew.

These women don't understand that a guy would rather choose a woman whose natural state is feminine, than a woman whose natural state is masculine but can be feminine from time to time if she chooses.

That's why, for example, female lawyers often have a really hard time dating. And if you meet them at a party, or on a date, they can be really feminine and soft (sometimes, though plenty are masculine even then). But even those women, men steer clear of, because we know that their femininity is just a cosplay. They trained to spend their days arguing, and winning those arguments by whatever means necessary even when they're client is wrong. And that side will come out at some point, inevitably.

Women dream of finding someone who can tame them (those harlequin romance novels are popular for a reason, their rapey-ness is a feature, not a bug). But guys who can do that ask themselves why spend that effort when you can get someone who's naturally house broken, and whose inner tiger won't come out one day and bite their head off like Penn and Teller.

Or to look at from the opposite sex. Imagine a man who lives in his parents basement playing video games all day, who is frightened of spiders, and can't fix a toilet, who says "I can become a rich handsome alpha male for the right woman". If you're a woman who can already attract an alpha bucks man, why bother with this guy, even if it's true that he can transform if you give him a chance? Why not pick the guy whose masculinity is not conditioned on meeting the right woman?