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@Durek_The_Bald I was 23 years old, and had recently escaped from the Rainbows and Sunshine Home for the Mentally Disabled. I made my way to a local public library with free internet access, and stumbled across the dot reds.
"What a great place to unleash some of my inane blather," I thought to myself, "some of these guys seem kind of crazy, so maybe I'll finally find acceptance."
I named myself @TryingToReform in an attempt to show I was willing to make an effort.
But instead of acceptance, I received ridicule and mockery!
Why, this might even have been #CyberBullying!
I cried out to the one being who had always given me unconditional love.
"Shrek! I need your help!"
The other library patrons nearby looked at me like I was insane (and maybe I am).
But then, I felt a warmth enveloping me as the scent of onions filled my nostrils. It was Shrek! And he was embracing me from behind on the library stool!
He whispered in my ear "fuck those guys. You don't need them. Just flounce your way out of there like so many who have gone before you."
As I pondered his words, my desire to prove my online alpha cred to internet strangers overruled his rational advice. I furiously typed and posted:
fuck you faggots! I'll beat all your asses! Just tell me where you live!
"I'll show those assholes, Shrek! I'll show them all!" I shrieked at the ogre.
The other library patrons had been pointedly ignoring me since my last outburst, but this got their attention again, and they noticed Shrek's presence.
They started to flee.
"Aw, look what ye did, laddie. Now we'll have to make this a quickie," Shrek replied as he placed me on my hands and knees.
He stuffed his ogresized eshrektion into my eager butthole and began thrusting with great vigor. I knew I had let him down and wanted to make it up to him, so I flexed my rectal sphincters just like the other inmates patients had taught me.
Shrek let out a mighty roar as he filled me with his fuck chowder.
He left me laying in a heap as the orderlies from the Rainbows and Sunshine Home for the Mentally Disabled arrived with a strait jacket, sedatives, and a stretcher to take me back. I didn't mind at this point, as Shrek's love and acceptance was enough.
