Family: deeply important
-they were her formative experience and where most of her values derive from. They will also try to be judge jury and executioner if you become ultra serious later. They will also be your in laws. Probably the most important relationship variable besides the girl herself.

Background: very important.
-Being poor doesn't necessarily matter but for example if she was around delinquents, unsupervised friends growing up, low value people (character wise) it will all add up. Her lifestyle she lived in her background is critically important

Past trauma: extremely important
-you are going to be dating her trauma. She is going to replace you with her trauma person when she is set off. She is going to run her trauma script every time she is set off, it will be like she's talking to someone else in a different time in the moment and completely ruin the energy. She won't even realize she's doing it and will 100% hold any negative reactions you have to it against you even though she wasn't reacting to "you" in the moment.

-You will have to pay for everyone else's mistakes while she gives you zero grace for your own. Then after she traumatizes you from the experience she will not appreciate anything you did for her and will Briffault's Law you and not help you clean up the damage she left you to deal with. Just avoid traumatized women.

-It takes them decades to fully get over their traumas. Decades you do not have to abandon your peace for that shit. That and it isn't just trauma, but all the comorbidities that come with trauma: depression, anxiety, anger, emotion dysregulation

Yes I am struggling to think there are any good suitable women out there. I plan on moving to a better area (culturally, politically, socially) because I think that will fix half the problem with that. Your environment really matters for percentage of viable women around as does your own value

Fortunately male trauma and resilience are very different than that of women. Assuming you climb from the ashes of your adversities and excel it won't necessarily hold you back in finding a good woman

(I primarily want to move for my own happiness, not women, but it should get better from that alone)

This is copied from an OYS I posted on the subreddit, but I am curious of the perspective of TRP of this topic in isolation.

I have been thinking quite a bit about quality and caliber of women. I grew up quite poor; single wide trailer, no central air or heat, literal fleas and roaches, single mother working at a bar to raise us, weird traumatic shit throughout childhood, etc. Former white trash (maybe others on here can relate). Now I have a good job, live in a nice home, etc.

I have fucked and dated girls from ‘the other side’; pretty, intelligent, from decent homes, decent neighborhoods, that dress well, speak well, good parents, good grandparents, decent jobs, sociable, polite, you name it. All metrics for ideal LTR. When I think of these girls, I think of them as not having the metaphorical ‘fleas’ picked up from a lifetime of poverty and trauma with girls from a background like mine I have been with or dated.. Normal adjustment. (It seems like in my experience, there tends to be a tendency for girls from a less than ideal background to have baggage.)

Some part of me feels I don’t truly deserve LTR’s with girls like this, maybe that if they get to close, they’ll see the metaphorical ‘fleas’ I couldn’t shake off even as I do game them and land them again, but then I think about the guys that often end up in LTR’s with girls like this from observation from life; skinny fat lazy nepo chodes with no to mediocre game that look and dress like shit, as well as do whiny unattractive shit… You know, the average dude… just born in a better than not family and neighborhood. Dudes I frankly mog in most ways. A pool of dudes that deserve to have their best prospects stolen due to their indolence.

You could say naturals get with girls like that. Will a blue pilled natural actually keep a decent girl? Many times no, but I also see quality girls put up with volumes of lazy unattractive shit for years with no complaint.

Then comes the question of the downsides of that sort of girl; Tina from Edina, if any of you are familiar with Aaron Clarey (for those that aren't, Tina from Edina means some gradient of daddy's spoiled princess). I have dated the Tina from Edina type seriously. It was not fun (other than the sex).

Then the next logical question, if a person did want that sort of girl, how would a person repeatably achieve it? Would these girls as a whole be less likely closed via cold approach? I imagine girls like that would lean much more into social circle game. I do think that daygame success selects for girls with a certain set of characteristics, but that’s a whole other conversation. That said, girls like that are likely in run clubs, gyms, etc.

All that said, I have two questions I'm asking for thoughts on: when screening for girls to consider for an LTR, how important is the girl's background, family, past trauma, etc to you guys? Is it something you think about?

have any other men on here struggled with feelings like this? If so, what helped? I find this is a barrier in the "I am enough" frame in my cold approach and game.