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You’ve already heard about why coffee first dates don’t work well. From my own past experience, I agree, it just ends up being a job interview for LTR-viability by the woman. And usually, she isn’t good at this interview and is quite boring herself.
As for your original question about time wasters, if they aren’t willing, or are difficult to get out somewhere with you, that’s your answer. A few possible signs I’ve seen that suggest time wasting…
- Asking to get to know you more before meeting.
- Continuing to have flirty contact (IRL or online) with you after declining your invite. Might be looking for orbiters.
- Excessive calling/texting before ever going on a date. In this scenario she might just be bored and using you to alleviate that boredom.
- AND (ironically), declining your offer to go do X for a coffee date instead. Usually means they aren’t attracted to you, but may be looking for a beta.
Generally, if they decline your invite without offering an alternate time, I would move on as well.
But there’s nuance here too, sometimes it makes sense to ask again ONCE more, and then not again. Don’t be too rigid or paranoid about avoiding time wasters. Of course the 2nd ask will usually fail though.
Read More@Typo-MAGAshiv is this the amount of v-points to give you? You incels have stupid code jokes
Yeah, well you're an incel. Stop watching Andrew Tate and Shrek, he's fat and green and UGLY
if one is sure that an individual has reformed.
And that's just it right there.
1) you never actually know. None of us is God who can see inside someone's heart, mind, soul, etc.
2) even supposedly "good" women can suddenly change their minds years later and divorce their husbands and take half their shit. Look at Steve Crowder. He and his wife were supposedly virgins and traditional.
Marriage in the west as it's currently practiced is just a bad deal for men no matter what the woman's past is.
A woman's bad past makes it an even worse bet.
I stayed calm
I don't believe that for a nanosecond. You might truly believe it about yourself, but I don't.
“next time you mention your exes I’m leaving”
Ultimatums almost always come from a position of weakness.
not surface-level “just communicate bro” advice.
That's blue pilled advice. You shouldn't get that here.
Anyway, everyone else already nailed it. You overreacted. Learn from it and do better, whether it's with her or someone else.
I held frame
I don't think you really understand what that means. Check out Rian Stone's "Praxeology Volume 1: Frame". The audiobook is available on Audible. I highly recommend it anyway to everyone, but you in particular really need it.
@Typo-MAGAshiv Yes, its not about forgiveness (that is not your business), its about suitability for selection.
One can overlook the past, if one is sure that an individual has reformed. Their past still exists though. It still leaves its mark on someone. Its like a past drug addict. They always know what they are missing even when they are sober. They have habit patterns that they have to consciously decide not to follow when it comes for reaching for chemical support at certain challenging times. Those who have been previously promiscuous or have been very serial monogamists know inside themselves how easy it is to move on, how easy it is to get more attention elsewhere, how less they have with the current partner in some situations than they had with previous partners.
The born again are basically people who have taken a resolution, backed by a community and a lot of stimulating ritual. The community and the ritual are supportive but they are also often a crutch. The compliance in the individual is usually less to the resolution than to the group. The have abrogated personal responsibility by pledging to a pre formulated way of doing things. Oh golly that does sound a hugely attractive idea to women doesn't it.
Read MoreI read this and feel like you came absolutely unglued for some stupid shit. This was very insecure and weak.
When you look weak, women leave. Women want a guy they can have banter with. It doesn't sound like she was trying to rub something in your face, but you spun it that way.
Girls are going to have exes. You're going to have to get over it or simply live single. You've definitely overreacted.
Don't bring it up with her again.
