This may be more of a philosophical game question:

When is it appropriate to directly come out and tell girls you want to fuck them vs implying it through your communication (IE you invite her over for a movie and she accepts)?

Both have worked for me but I'm leaning towards the latter being more better because women tend to communicate in this covert language and only when they are really comfortable with you or they themselves are very outward do they come out and speak in this manner.

Is the answer it depends on the situation? Or is indirect game always better since the implication is there?

One thing that is good with being direct is that the expectations are being set as opposed to when the implication is there that we "might" hook up gives them the leeway to try to skirt out of the situation without fully committing to the lay.

What are your thoughts? I'd be interested in hearing them.

Escalate faster. If they just get off on your attention, they'll decline. If they actually want to fuck, they'll fuck.

Roissy/Heartiste had a bunch of good shit on texting. See if you can dig it up at the archive at Heartiste.org.

A few brief tips:

1) keep it short, and send her fewer messages than she sends you (ideally roughly a 2:3 ratio).

2) the Jumbotron test: if you aren't willing to have your message shown on the Jumbotron in a crowded arena in which everyone knows it's from you, then don't send it.

3) many people say keep texting to logistics only, but I find that to be false. It might be a way to curb the guys who go too hard and heavy, or worse, too lovey-dovey. But I always found an occasional "I can't wait to fuck your brains out" (with a woman I've already fucked, mind you) to work well.

4) don't be a pen-pal. Escalate. Filter out the ones who just want attention.

Also, I frequently had better results by trying to escalate in the moment rather than getting phone numbers. Even if you can't leave work, try to capitalize on their mood that night if at all possible.

When I used to go club hopping this would happen to me. I would get their number and they would disappear after (even after grinding and humping on the dance floor). I would push to close the same night and that seemed to work better but it was still like pulling teeth. Maybe some other guys had better success but didn't really work for me.

In your case, I think it may be something similar. Girls get drunk, want to show off and get attention, get the attention but the next day they got their "fill" so to speak and when you are texting them the vibe is completely different.

Have you tried to fuck them the night of? Tell them I get off at 2 am for example and I'm down to meet up. If that doesn't work, keeping the texting to a minimum as you want the "high" of seeing you in that power position of being the bartender to parlay into you meeting up best you can.

Honestly fuck texting too, way too much time for them to sit there and analyze your texts and find something wrong with what you said. Try calling them since you already have their phone number if anything.

Another thought: post your entire conversation and I can probably break down exactly where it went wrong because the information supplied is basic and doesn't explain exactly what happened in the conversation.

So far we got:

A. Girls see you in a power position (bartender) B. They think your hot while you are serving drinks and being the boss so they want to fuck you C. They give you the number D. You text and the conversation fizzles out and goes nowhere.

Seems like the breakdown occurs sometime after C. So I would focus there. It may just be a hard situation to "fix" and the chances of conversion are low. It's kind of like online dating... you sift through hundreds of girls just to fuck one. Just because they give you the phone number doesn't mean that conversion number is going to be high. Even when I get the phone number off dating sites the conversion to fucking isn't high. Lots of flakes.

27M bartender at a high volume sports bar in a major city in the USA. Tall, model level looks (not trolling or trying to be arrogant but I am a former model), white/chad archetype.

Not trying to brag but giving full context: I get hit on constantly at work. Girls flirting, laughing at my jokes, and I get at least one number per shift without even asking. They literally give ME their number.

Here's the problem - in 3 months working there, I haven't closed with a single one. Not one. Every plate I am currently spinning was obtained via cold approach at bars AS A CUSTOMER/Hinge/Tinder.

Is it just girls being tipsy and regretting it after? Because it's weird as fuck that they'd go out of their way to give me their number but then it fizzles out.

Example: last weekend got two cute blonde 20-somethings' numbers. We texted during and right after my shift, decent back and forth, then... nothing. Conversation dies. Deleted both numbers to move on.

I've been bartending for years and this keeps happening at this specific bar. Clearly I have the "on paper" stats - the initial attraction is there. So what's the issue?

Is my texting game shit? Am I not escalating fast enough? Not pushing for meetups soon enough?

Need actionable advice here because this pattern is getting frustrating.