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MidgetSpinner - How do you kill the little bitch that lives inside of you?
I thought I would have had this shit handled by now after countless relationships, but I still don't, and frankly it's embarrassing and I'm ashamed.
I'm referring to neediness. I never...... [more]
I'm referring to neediness. I never once begged this girl to get back with me at least, but it's this survival mode kind of haze I've been in ever since we had issues and broke up. I keep digging and digging the hole deeper trying to salvage whatever might be left of the relationship with one more message, and then another, and then another, and I can see myself doing this cringey shit after the fact, but in the moment I'm awash with emotion/anxiety and whatever else. I am not in my normal state of mind. I am constantly inbetween trying to fix things, and then trying to do damage control because I regret trying to fix things. I look fucking crazy.
First step is to make yourself do the right thing and not do the wrong thing, regardless of instincts.
"I feel like a little bitch, but I'm going to behave like I'm not, so I won't message her".
Gradually through doing the right behaviours, you'll learn to have the right feelings.
Basically you don't give in to your inner little bitch, until you learn to properly run things in your life.
I had my shit absolutely handled, and then the second things started to take a turn, I gradually lost my frame and then before you know it, it's all gone because I couldn't simply let her go.
If you are behaving like this then you can't handle a LTR.
Thing about a long term relationship is that you are playing 100% in her court. She is more likely to decrease sexual interest. She is more likely to financially profit. She is more likely to be uncommunicative and say things like "you should know what's wrong". She can get laid in an instant, you can't. The whole deal is 100% biased against you and in her favour.
And at some level you know this, and you have committed to her, and it fucks with your head.
The solution is to ditch exclusivity. Just don't do it. If she demands it, then find another two girls who don't.
Please try to help me make sense of this. Is there something fundamentally wrong with me?
No, but your feelings are evolved for a villlage of 100 people. We are now in a village of 7 billion people, and this works against a lot of your feelings.
I don't want to have to spin plates just to have outcome indepence,
But if you are exclusive you will not feel like you have outcome independence because fundamentally in a relationship you do not have outcome independence. It matters. The costs of losing "this one" and finding another are high, so you emotionally commit, and she exploits that.
you should be able to access that frame regardless. Surely there is a way. Whatever it is, please help. I never ever want to behave like this again. I am disgusted by my behaviour and I'm sure it's the source of all my relationship failures. Maybe it's an unresolved fear of abandonment. Fuck knows.
The solution for most people is to couple up with someone who has even greater abandonment issues.
LTR is hard. You need to not care too much, and yet you have to make all the right moves like you do care.
They are fucked up.
How do you build the strength and composure to be able to just walk away, even when it's eating at you? How do you do what's right and masculine in these situations?
Run things right from the get go so that she knows that you can and will walk away if it sucks for you. Realise that one day you WILL walk. Don't view things as permanent. Don't accept less than awesome from her.
Everything else in my life is handled, but for some reason regardless of being with over a hundred women, I still have this little bitch in me that eventually rears its head. It doesn't matter how long it takes, eventually it always does and it's usually when things begin to go south. I want to kill that.
You can't kill it, you need to fix it, whatever it is.
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Somebody probably sneaked behind ChadGPT and cut his throat mid-answer
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@Bozza AA, AMastery, DA, quiet, etc on about everything she says she would either fall in line seeing it means nothing what she says or blow up. Crazy bitch would blow up being ridiculed∆ I'd be fine with that, that what I do to accelerate.
∆ likely coz they can't get trough to you
"All you could do was to ridicule and move on with topic babout EVERYTHING She was saying to show you will not take ANYTHING she says seriously (ofc before you wanted to bail)."
I don't know what you mean by this?
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Fall of Rome - "My Tolerance"
Lyrics
If you're feeling fem, Don't do something major, You know in the end, You'll always be male. So, when you're in doubt, Of your assigned gender, Take a look a bit south, And notice what's there.
I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to give you your way, I know it's not what clown world is demanding of me, But if you push a little more I'll make sure that you see, My tolerance, My tolerance is thin
When you raise your voice, And say I've misgendered, You know what I'll do? I'm gonna do it again, Sometimes when you shout, I doubt you intend it, Your true form comes out, An unmistakable man
I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to give you your way, I know it's not what clown world is demanding of me, But if you push a little more I'll make sure that you see, My tolerance, My tolerance…
I'm sorry, but I'm just not in the mood to fake it today, I know that's awfully insensitive of me, But if you keep on pushing me I'll make sure that you see, My tolerance, My tolerance is thin
I tell ya, Need to tell ya, Gotta tell ya, I've gotta tell ya
I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to give you your way, I know it's not what clown world is demanding of me, But if you push a little more I'll make sure that you see, My tolerance, My tolerance…
I'm sorry, but I'm just not in the mood to fake it today, I know that's awfully insensitive of me, But if you keep on pushing me I'll make sure that you see, My tolerance, My tolerance is thin, It's thin, So thin
#2023 #FallofRome #MyTolerance #Parody #Satire #Song #Lyrics #80s #Electro
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Valid reasons for LTR to decline sex?
Yesterday my LTR declined sex for the first time. We were at her place, she cooked dinner for me, was submissive and otherwise behaving well. We moved into the bedroom, started doing foreplay, but after I got her bra off she said she didn’t want to do it tonight. She said that her head and body ached, that she hadn’t showered and that she had to get up early. I didn’t react emotionally but got up and left. At the door she asked me if I was mad, but I told her no, kissed her good night, and told her to go to sleep and to get her chores done tomorrow morning because I’ll check.
Her period was coming up and she has some exams which she’s worried about, and just seems on edge lately. In fact, I did see her taking Advil due to premenstrual cramps in the days leading up to this. She’s been combative with her roommates, and she appears to be trying to hold it together for my sake when I’m around. She tests me sometimes but I shut that shit down and she goes back to behaving.
I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also don’t want this to become a trend. I’ve read through other posts regarding this issue and users warn about “valid” denials of sex (due to period, etc) being a slippery slope leading to invalid denials and using sex for manipulation.
She’s out of her prime (26) and she knows that I have other options on standby. I believe my SMV is 1 or 2 points higher than hers, and the margin is increasing as time goes by.
She sent me a good morning text today, reiterating the period as the issue. I believe I should respond warmly (so avoid no contact), as she already has insecurity issues, but maybe give it a week before I see her again.
What would you suggest?
Edit: I have access to her phone and geolocation.
When one plate brakes it's best to not bother gluing it together in some attempt to fix it. Better to accept the loss, clean up the mess as best you can, throw the broken plate away, and get another.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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