I have a girlfriend but I have kissed and slept with another women. This happened in December.

When we had sex and kissed there was some mention of my girlfriend.

throughout the night when we touch lips, she pulled back and said I had a girlfriend we can’t do this. (I didn’t say anything). we started making out she pulled back and said she can’t do this to my girlfriend (I said it’s my problem to fix) after kissing more she said “no more. You love your girlfriend and you can work it out” (I replied I just want you). she said she can’t be the 2nd women. I can’t remember much after but we kissed and then had sex at her place). Anyway a month later we are going out again for a date. She knows I have a girlfriend and still is going on a date with me but what do I say when she mentions it?

My thoughts

tell her I’m on a break with my gf but as she still living with me until she finds a new place? just tell her the truth. That I have a girlfriend but I don’t feel romantic feelings but can’t let her go right now as she dependent financially on me as she works part time. just lie and hope for the best and say I’ve broken up with her.

Great post

Genuine friends who are female, while rare, can exist.

I have a handful of female friends that I met at work (that said, only one of them I would call a genuine friend that will extend beyond when I have a different job). They are chicks that are married/in serious LTR's, most of which I wouldn't be interested in physically anyways. Sometimes I add value to their lives by giving advice on their nightmare marriages or whatever, and to be honest sometimes they do add value to my life not by giving me tips on game (don't ask a fish how to catch fish), but moreso style tips (chicks can have good insights here) or wingmaning for me.

side from the same reason you want male friends (companionship, you do shit for each other, etc), they offer something male friends don't necessarily give very well: strong social proof.

This. I really only spend time with them realistically when at work and stuck there, though occasionally I'll go out with them and it's a huge social proofing/halo to be in a large group with mostly women. There has been many times where they have TOLD me to approach a girl I wasn't going to before. Definitely friendships that have added more value than they have been a value sink. One could argue whether most of these girls are truly friends like the dudes I have known since I was in kindergarten and went to my mom's funeral but for the sake of argument we will go with it

Good sensible write up.

My personal take on it is that useful female friends (outside of pre approval including business networking) are quite rare. Its not that women do not make friends its just that what friends is looks different to most women than to most men. Many homosexuals seem to get what female friendship is and revel in it but many heterosexual men are often frustrated by the way women and their friends spend a lot of time in quite surface activities -going to cafe's, shopping for unnecessary items, talking about holidays where you lie on a beach, worrying about trivia and the occasional back biting and betrayals. In the end there is not much here to satisfy yourself with. Don't expect a woman to do more for you than she would for one of her girls.

There is another problem that I think can be particularly frustrating for men and that is that both good and bad women can be raised to see men as net contributors and they take this to friendship. I am not talking here about making you an orbiter (that is a woman who is clearly not really your friend) I am talking about a woman who assumes that you like being a net contributor because that is what her dad, uncles and brothers have always done for her. She assumes that men like white knighting in general (not just for pussy access) and that women in return cheerlead for them and that's a "fair deal".

Men are net contributors she thinks. She will make female contributions -she really will talk you up to her friends, advise you on women, help you chose clothes and she will let you crash on her sofa and might cook you breakfast but you will still make male contributions (which cost more time and money) When she has a leaking tap she assumes she can call you to come and fix it (if she is single at the time and her dad lives in another town). She will make you a cake to thank you but you will fix her tap. You will hire and drive her a van and help her move house and she will invite you to a house warming party and tell everyone you were so great to help her but she would be surprised if you asked her to help you move house because all that lifting is not a "pink job". She may not even offer to pay her way all the time. But she does not think she is using you.

Many women raised in good traditional blue pill households -women who hold good values and who have friends who are seldom sluts- are also unfortunately often raised by trad cons who do not understand the world today and these women are default net recipients. Its hard to find a good female friend -one you as a man value beyond the networking/ social proof value. Perhaps a farmer's daughter or one whose father ran a business and who knows the value of exchange but most of the nice traditional girls are actually poor friends to men because of a blue pill raising.

Its best to be aware of the limits of women as friends. They will very rarely be as valuable and reliable in a tight corner as male friends. For their networking, pre approval and their social clout, they do however have a niche.