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November was a month to cut out doom scrolling.
Only other goals I had was decide on my living situation. Which we knocked out. Got a hell of a deal (like 40% off market value) on a two bedroom 1 bath house for the next two years. Part of the agreement is I'll be finishing a 3rd bedroom and 2nd full bathroom in the basement. Owner provides materials.
December is going to be a cruise month. No major goals outside of fitness and enjoying time with the family. Assuming i don't get lazy I'll call it a win.
Lack of appetite has been making it a struggle to keep on weight. It may be stress related. Addressing that but if my appetite issues can't be solved, I'll resort to forcing down calorie dense shakes.
My lower pecs and arms have been identified as lagging areas so I tuned up a routine to adress that. Will start running it next week.
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dizzyboi - Women Leave for Happiness — What If I’m the Unhappy One?
I’ve been married 15 years. Good career(6 figs), stay in shape, live with intention. I realized that I’ve been slowly shrinking to fit inside my wifes comfort zone. Sacrificing myself...... [more]
If you're committed to the idea that "leaving because unhappy = bad", then yeah, I can see how you're in a bit of a bind. Maybe reconsider the base assumption.
“I’m unhappy, so I’m leaving” (the thing men get burned by) vs “The relationship has hit a dead end because we’re fundamentally incompatible in growth, effort, and emotional connection.”
Naw, it's the same thing. One is just more verbose. You can throw something in there about "being on your journey", if it makes you feel better, but it's still the same thing.
It's ok, you know, to leave if you're unhappy. You don't need a "good reason". It's your life, do with it as you please. If she just isn't doing it for you any longer, that's as good a reason as any. You don't owe anyone your life.
Just make a decision. Even if it's a bad decision, it's still better than being indecisive.
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Reply To dizzyboi - Women Leave for Happiness — What If I’m the Unhappy One?
I’ve been married 15 years. Good career(6 figs), stay in shape, live with intention. I realized that I’ve been slowly shrinking to fit inside my wifes comfort zone. Sacrificing myself...... [more]
Plan a weekend date and surprise her. Book a hotel, and drive her somewhere where you can take in the local attractions. Something where you can both engage in the local attractions. It doesn't have to be expensive. I'll give you an example:
One of my girlfriends and I were going through a rough patch. I live a few hours from the shore, so I booked a hotel for the weekend at one of the tourist places (it was in October, so it was off-season, and hotels were like $60 per night). I told her to not make any plans for the weekend, that we're going on a little trip.
We left Saturday morning, and arrived just before lunch. We drove 3 hours (which allowed me to break the ice and get a conversation going), and she kept asking "Where are we going?" I kept telling her, "You'll find out when we get there." When we arrived, we checked in at the hotel, dropped our stuff off, and went off on our adventure.
It was chilly, but we took a walk on the boardwalk, stopped at the vendor places for food and drinks, and played games together at one of those arcades where you trade the tickets in for prizes at the counter. I won her some stuffed animals from the crane machines, we turned in our tickets at the counter, I let her pick out the prizes, and she had a good time.
I had brought a laptop with me with an external hard drive that I loaded up with movies that she had mentioned she wanted to see, and a few that I thought looked pretty good she might enjoy. The hotel room had a TV I could plug into and stream the movies. We stopped off at the local dollar store and picked up some movie theater snacks (juijy fruits, milk duds, small cans of soda, etc.), then stopped off at a local diner for some dinner. After dinner, it was back to the hotel for movies. The last movie we watched I made sure was one of those woman-porn movies to make her all hot and wet before turning out the lights.
Sunday morning, we got up and showered, got packed up, and checked out of the hotel. I took her to a local diner for breakfast, and we took in a few of the local specialty shops for some souvenirs. On the way back home nearby, there was an animal farm that had a free petting zoo we stopped at so we could play with the baby sheep and goats and cute little furry animals women love.
Our last stop before heading home was an airplane museum ran by veterans that had free admittance (donations accepted) and gift shop. It had a little film room that showed a half-hour clip of the airplanes and talked about the veterans that served in wars. It was very educational. We walked around the museum, taking pictures of the exhibits, stood attention when they played a video of the national anthem, bought some souvenirs from the gift shop, and I dropped a donation on our way out.
On the drive back home, she was smiling and laughing and talking about what she liked about the trip, and it was a complete 360 from where she was when we started out. The overall trip cost me about $500.
Sometimes, you just have to pull yourselves out of your comfort zone and do something spontaneous, just you and her alone in a neutral place, where neither of you can run and hide, and have to depend on each other for comfort in order to remake that connection.
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@DrSuperAceStar In short, change things up.
What you can bench press is the least of your worries. You are overweight. This is more significant to your health and mental and physical well being. A calorie deficit is unlike to result in a new lifting PR but I would honestly go that way first.
All exercises reach a plateau unless one can change things up but boredom often kicks in first anyway. I would forget PRs, diet and get into the squats and the dead lift. These help the harmony of your whole body. Personally I always recommend some cardio vascular fitness but that is not something everyone here is as keen on.
I don't know what you have done to get in court but you need to change your habits and the way you interact with people. Unless you had a very good reason, it was an unnecessary risk to upset the big state and incur lawyers fees and the shame of a court case.
You need to get into some sort of work for your mental well being. I appreciate it can be hard legally around disability but you need to work something out around your local laws. A man needs to be doing something useful and advancing his interests not being in a woman or child position taking from big father state..
Worry about the ladies after sorting all that out. Likely as not they will be bothering you by then anyway.
Read More@deeplydisturbed Yeah there is no need for the things that may antagonise white knights and blue pillers. There is no red pill bitterness. This is not about what is wrong with society being the cause of the problem. Instead its about the nature of the problem. It is up to the individual man what he thinks he ought to do about it. This gives it power to reach men who can't be reached by other iterations of the same truth won't.
Yeah I like the tape analogy. Its great.
@adam-l tryout some Chase Hughes videos, he’s guaranteed to change your perception on a lot of thing. He’s content is short and isn’t full of rambles. I.e youtu.be/Fnn7n2ZbYpE?si=XTP3mt_Qt4Kf_ydo.html
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@DrSuperAceStar you’re funny, how was she you’re girlfriend before y’all even been on a date? And what’s this thing about lawyers and lawnmowers? How’s you cut your toe off? What where you doing with a lawnmower and can you afford a lawyer?
I like two things in particular.
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It depersonalizes it and explains things from a biological perspective.
- The tape analogy is great.
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