@kaanstks

cockblocking myself..

When I see a cute girl and feel the urge to approach (I have zero approach anxiety thanks to approaching hundreds of women), I end up cockblocking myself.

Internally, I think I’m not man enough. It’s not about her. It’s not about that one person. I know I can pull the woman I’m approaching—hell, I’m already flirting, having fun, and staying outcome-independent—but I don’t ask for her number, and I don’t even want to have sex with her. It feels like too much hassle.

It’s not that she’s out of my league or that she’s so beautiful she’ll reject me. Who cares? What really bothers me is that I know my potential. I was once in incredible shape—mentally, physically, and spiritually strong; resilient and disciplined. I think this goes deeper than women. I want that man back. I need to work on this.

What’s your opinion on this? I’m not looking for advice like “approach more” or “fuck more.” I want to keep this philosophical. Is there anything I’m missing in the bigger picture?

Ps. I had a lot of partners in the past, I know what woman is, what sex is, what abundance mentality, spinning plates, oneitis is etc. These are not my problem.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@MclAdw

Would you consider it cheating if your LTR has deleted a texting conversation with another man to hide it from me?

I have been with my LTR for 8 years and I was on her phone after a clubbing night because my phone had died. I was listening to music on YouTube while she was cooking breakfast.

An Instagram message notification popped up which was another man (we'll name him John) from a previous job she used to work at messaging her. I quickly clicked onto the message to check and scrolled through insanely quickly, but I couldn't read the messages because she then came back into the room a few times, it's funny because she would never come into the room as much as she did when cooking me breakfast (it was as if she was checking up on me and was worried I was on her phone). She didn't know I saw the message.

In the end, I didn't ask her about it or pull her up on it and carried on as normal.

A few days ago, I felt like throwing a test her way so I asked her as a joke if she wanted to swap phones - there was no reason for me to go on her phone at that moment in time, but I wanted to gauge her reaction. Her response wasn't great and she was spouting the 'don't you trust me' bollocks and I ended the conversation by saying it was a joke (we never swapped phones).

I have recently found out (after me asking to go onto her phone as a test), that she has deleted the Instgram messages between her and John. Please note that she doesn't delete messages because every other message was still there when she was scrolling through her message list, besides the conversation with her and John.

How can I attack this?

For example, I'm going to message her out of the blue saying something along the lines of: I'm going to ask you a very serious question now and this is your ONLY chance to be honest with me about what has happened because if you lie to me, we're finished.

'I have received a message from someone saying you have seen another man behind my back (I don't actually know whether she has seen/fucked him or not, I am just trying to extract information because she thinks someone else is involved by messaging me and she will assume I can just ask this person messaging me if she tries to lie) and I will see if she comes clean about what she has been doing

What do you think?

Only that you should consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

It reads like you've already gotten enough information to figure that she's keeping something from you. Your gut's telling you that something's wrong, so definitely pay attention. Hopefully, you two don't live together or have kids with each other, so you can make a clean break and move on with your life. If not, you may want to put together a quiet plan that factors in the need to keep what you know to yourself as you build up the momentum to engage a hard break. Regardless of what you decide, best of luck to ya.

@Wartortle

Slept with a friend? Where do I stand? Is it over?

Background

• I’m 29. Lots of relationships, always end as it don’t want kids or marriage. Currently in an open relationship.
• she is 39, two daughters and going through a divorce
• met her via mutual friends. Over the last few months we gotten close over various social events. She doesn’t come to much as she is busy but she always comes when I’m 100% certain to be there. She gets very jealous when other girls speak to me.

Party and sleeping with her

• we was at a party, we spent all night together. We kiss slightly a few times but she pulls away. She says I have a girlfriend or that everyone is watches
• she tells everyone we are just friends.
• we separate but I hear that she is looking for me. I find her, we kiss and make out.
• we get a hotel room and we sleep together.

Mixed signals from her

• she tells everyone we are just friends
• while kissing and making out she says she can’t do this as she too old for me. She has too much baggage with children
• she tells me she never wants to lose me as a friend. I’ve become invaluable in her life. I’m a high point for her.
• she said she can’t be with me as I don’t even want to get married. She pulls away from kissing. I lean back and she says your not even fighting for me.

I call her the next day

• I call her to she how she is and what she wants. I tell her are we more than friends? She says she wants to keep things casual as friends. And see where this goes with no labels.
• she can’t jump into things as she never has much time with full time work and having two kids. She said is going through divorce as well.
• she doesn’t want to jump into things and ruin our friendship. She doesn’t want to lose me from her life as she wouldn’t know what do without me.
• she says she barley has time for anything and she can’t just drop her commitments for me.
• she said she has a fear of getting hurt.

What is going on?

• have I blown my chances by asking if she wants more?
• what does she want? Does she does want just friends or something more.
• is she afraid that I’m younger and therefore could leave at anytime? Thus losing me all together?

What should I do?

• when I next see her act like it never happened and just flirt and be friends like before or maybe ignore her and let her feel what life is without me?

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his #book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.