@ChadifiedAsian

Signs of Pair Bonding?

Hi all. I looked for this topic in the sidebar, couldn't find anything.

I'm curious from a theory perspective - how do you know a woman is pair bonded to you? Is it the depth of emotional connection, acts of service, etc? If anyone has sources for this, would be great.

Thanks.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Manofcave

self improvement is not enough or i've not done enough of it?

hi guys, straight to the point.

I've improved a lot compared to my past self 4 years ago when i first discovered the RP got a decent bod , but no matter how much i try, just can't seduce women tried multiple different(and a combination of them) approach being an asshole, always agreed and amplified shit tests, Machiavellian, kino-ed her according to body language but always got signals to go back one step.

I've even tried to seduce whales(it seems even they have better options than me) to practice but it seems even they are not interested in me. I've developed great hobbies where i'm great at and like doing but its all nerdy stuff philosophy, math, coding, technical stuff. ik these all stuff is not what a woman should give a fuck about but its part of who i am. i also don't drink or smoke or do drugs so parties/bars/clubs are out of the question for me to meet women which reduces my options to cold approaching in my college and online dating apps.

Tried Hinge(paid)/tinder/bumble trio with the best pictures i could find and got 4 matches in a month of swiping, 2 didn't even responded to the first text, other 2 were attention farming men on the app

30+ cold approaches of which I've got around 5 numbers and 1 date 0 lays (yes IK its a low number but cold approaching is not generally acceptable in the conservative culture i live in, but no excuses and will try more) money game is bad as im still in college but its not an excuse to not develop this area of my life

also im not on Instagram or any other social media as consumes too much of my time to build and keep the profile updated and becomes about seeking external validation so i don't indulge

20yo,kv, 5'8, 12%body fat(visible 6 packs), autistic,72kg bw, 21.77FFMI, little more than 2 years of lifting experience, also considering 500mg test after a few more years

I humbly beg the advice of yours intelligence and experience on how to tackle this area of my life and maximize it to its potential.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

Man, despite everything I have internalised about the nature of women, nothing prepared me for today. My ex came round to give me my last few bits and bobs and just erupted in a mass of emotion.

It was mildly ego-stroking, yet genuinely heartbreaking to hear about all the shit that had been going on and that I’d be welcomed back without hesitation. Given the disrespect and nonsense I put up with, I assumed the carousel would’ve been jumped on by now, with a callous attitude directed my way.

She rode on her high horse in our relationship and now she is crawling in the mud. It would be entertaining if I didn't still care for her.

I guess this is one of the reasons you're not supposed to speak to your ex's? I thought I had a chance of turning this into a fwb, but I do not have capabilities to put her through all this pain.

I mean, she's already going to feel hurt when I tell her that she's the reason I'm gay now.

@alchemist

She had the where do we stand talk 3 months in, but has red flags, stick or split?

TLDR: Casual fling for three months -- she’s catching feelings, but not LTR material (party phase, red flags, different values). I’ve kept one foot out the door, and she wants more, but I’m unsure if it’s worth it. Keep it going or cut it off?

---

I've been seeing this girl semi-consistently for about three months. Met her at the bar I work at on weekends. I knew she wasn’t LTR material from the jump—just recreational. She’s attractive, and relatively low-maintenance (until recently), but she’s been hitting me with the wyd texts more than I'd like.

Plenty of red flags: tatted up, goes to bars religiously, hangs with skimpy women, no faith, poor diet, thinks "equality" is real, and treats everything like a competition. On the plus side, she’s been low drama, buys me things, initiates meetups, listens, and has a good relationship with her father/ family -- bare bones.

A couple of weeks ago, I was already considering ending it. I don't mind it casual, but I’d rather spend that energy on a more feminine, demure woman—not a "boss babe" in her party phase. I was raised in a traditional Eastern European household, so I know Western women are mostly a lost cause Unicorns don't exist here, even the “good ones” I've met, like a virgin Orthodox girl I went on a date with, was socially awkward or lacked femininity in other ways. Fewer red flags doesn’t automatically mean it will work out.

I think that I'd struggle spinning plates. I work three jobs, among other obligations, and don’t have time to juggle women like a full-time hobby. That said, while seeing this girl, I’ve gone on a date with another and hooked up with someone else, so I’ve kept one foot out the door.

Yesterday, she wanted to meet and have the "where do we stand?" talk. She told me she was in a four-year relationship with an introvert who never let her go out, and now she’s in her rebellious phase. She said she's developed heavy feeling for me but thinks casual sex is weighing on her and wanted to know if that’s all I see her as. Before I came, she cried for a couple of hours thinking I'd ghost after we talked or would just get angry.

I listened to her half of it then I laid it out: we all come as we are, and the casual tone was set from the start. I’m not in the business of teaching an old dog new tricks, if someone doesn't want to be tamed why would I tame them. Basically ended the conversation on a "let's chew on it", so I have yet to make a concrete decision on the situation.

I won't lie, consistent P isn't bad, but I disagree with her on 95% of her beliefs, and I’ve seen her dating app notifications and her chatting up other guys at my place of work. Though that happened only during the first month, I can't oversee that it happened. She wants to do more “relationship” activities, but that’s something that has to be earned not handed out.

What would you do from experience, keep the fire burning, or light it out?

A thought comes to mind.