@Wintergreen

How do I stop being insecure about something my ex said?

I asked her about her sexual history once and she basically said that the first time she had sex she thought all men just wanted sex and she wanted to know what it felt like so she fucked a guy with a really nice physique.

A while later I asked her if he was as muscular as a picture of some random guy and I think she exaggerated because it’s extremely unlikely, but at the same time I’m bothered because during the first conversation she said “I thought I might as well have sex with this really hot guy instead of this short guy who had been trying for years.”

I was trying to be confident and not let it get to me but now I’m bothered because that guy had hurt her even just two months before this conversation, and she was telling me how hot he was. It bothers me because I wonder if she would’ve ever called me “really hot”, especially after if I had hurt her.

My attempt at an answer to this question is that she may have been exaggerating how hot he was to make me mad, since I had hurt her by saying I didn’t want a relationship. By the time we had this conversation she was thinking there was a chance for one. I just feel traumatized hearing about that. I didn’t ask her to tell me about that. I would’ve never told her I thought another girl was so hot if I had had sex with her. I don’t think she was really gushing over the guy when explaining the story; it was more about the word choice than how she was saying it. One part that bothers me though is that she said she didn’t even care if it was a one night stand. Except when he tried to fuck her on the first night she left and didn’t fuck him until the second night. I feel like she may have been exaggerating but I’m not sure why she would say this stuff. It seems cunty and I don’t know how to feel better.

I think my issue with this is not that he may have been hotter than me (although that is unfortunate), but the fact that she would describe him like that out loud. What a privilege this guy has to be able to use a girl multiple times and make her cry multiple times and she still describes him that way. That’s what bothers me. It wouldn’t even be as bad if he treated her right and she said that.

Reads like you've got a bad case of one-itis, which suggests something weird as you've only known this girl for a few weeks.

@derdeutscher

Why do you think the guy you described is a loser?

Because I was thinking of a particular two guys and both are losers.

a lot of guys are chill, content, and not chasing money..enjoying life as it comes.

Agreed. in fact, the overwhelming majority of men are in this ballpark. I'm not talking about the good guys

lot of people (and women) find that attitude appealing/attractive.

Again, I agree. AND I am NOT talking about them. I am talking about the many absolute fuckwit men I knew in my childhood and beyond who got decent women. Maybe not the top tier, but close. And multiple women.

When I was a teenager, I still had that blue pill mindset. As soon as I got into HS, I got a GF and started to learn.

The dudes who were on drugs, skinny unattractive drug dealers, and the like were never without a woman.

And I watched and learned from them.

Hence why I am here now.

Got to reply here @jediskywalker

I know this isn't a typical case. I could easily move on - I have a great job and I'm what most would consider very handsome and tall. On paper, everyone would say "just go get another girl." But there's something

You're not special. You're on a hook. Either a shark or a pike on a hook is just a fish on a hook.

nd was always loyal to me.

Ok

A part of me would be content smashing one more time though :

She surely has a magic pussy, yes?

— no sex— two times, she got up and left after 20 minutes. Odd behavior, Surprisingly, after leaving my bed that night, she called me and we talked on the phone for 3 hours.

If you cant see it, what anyone can tell you

karmic blowback" and implying I knew things about her friends that would "shake her to her core." She called multiple times afterward

She surely hated the emotions ,so much she was ready yo talk about them for another 3h :)