Share jokes that people can tell at parties or add to their repertoire. Ideally related to sex, dating, the SMP, or Red Pill Truths, but anything that will get a room laughing is welcome!
Here you go some auto translated jokes from across the pond
On a beautiful, sunny day, a guy went to the zoo with his wife. The wife, a very attractive woman - makeup, a summer pink skimpy dress, cinched with a belt, self-supporting tights....
As they walked between the cages of the monkeys, they saw a gorilla, which at the sight of them seemed to go crazy, began to jump on the bars, grunting, hanging on one paw, with the other pounding on his skull, apparently incredibly excited. The husband, noticing this excitement of the monkey, suggested to his wife to irritate the animal even more, and began to give her ideas : lick your lips .... , curl your butt .... The wife followed his instructions, and the gorilla began to make such sounds that would probably wake the dead. “Unbuckle the belt ...” (the gorilla almost unbuckled the bars from the tension), “Lift the dress above the pantyhose” (the gorilla went completely crazy). Suddenly the guy grabbed his wife by the hair, opened the cage door, threw his wife inside, slammed the door and shouted reproachfully:
- Now explain to him that you have a headache!
What is pregnancy?
Otherwise the revenge of the conductor. Did not want to play with a stick, you have to carry a drum
@MentORPHEUS I could have sworn I'd shared this one on here ages ago, but alas I did not
It's one of my favorite clean jokes
A comment in another thread reminded me of this one.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all hired to do movies about the big three classical music composers. The director gives them the choice on who they play.
Bruce shrugs and says, "I guess I'll be Beethoven".
Stallone thinks for a minute and says, "Eh, I'll be Mozart then."
Everyone then turns to Arnold who looks down with a sigh, "I'll be Bach".
Johnny was an unlucky incel and his roommates always gave him grief over this. One day though, he excitedly burst in and exclaimed, "I was FINALLY with A GIRL!!!"
His friends wowed and asked him what went down.
"Well, after the date she wanted to go back to her place!"
Yeah..? the friends all urged
"So we ended up in bed and sure enough I thrust it in!"
Yeah..?
"She was really into it! She squirmed and moaned!"
Yeah..?
"And every time I thrust, her toes would curl!"
"YOU IDIOT! You forgot to take her pantyhose off first!"
What does eating an old lady's pussy taste like?
Depends...
Q: what's the difference between a baby and a feminist?
A: if you give a baby what it wants, it usually stops crying.
Q: why don't women fart as much as men?
A: they don't shut the fuck up long enough to build up any pressure.
@deeplydisturbed only thing I'm "woosening" is ur mom's pussy
A 75yo man meets and falls in love with a 25yo woman. At their wedding, his brother pulls him aside and asks, "How in the world did you get such a younger woman to marry you?"
The groom says, "Oh, I lied about my age!"
His brother asks, "Oh, so how old did you say you were?"
The groom replies, "I told her I'm 87!"