@MentORPHEUS I could have sworn I'd shared this one on here ages ago, but alas I did not

It's one of my favorite clean jokes

A comment in another thread reminded me of this one.

Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all hired to do movies about the big three classical music composers. The director gives them the choice on who they play.

Bruce shrugs and says, "I guess I'll be Beethoven".

Stallone thinks for a minute and says, "Eh, I'll be Mozart then."

Everyone then turns to Arnold who looks down with a sigh, "I'll be Bach".

Johnny was an unlucky incel and his roommates always gave him grief over this. One day though, he excitedly burst in and exclaimed, "I was FINALLY with A GIRL!!!"

His friends wowed and asked him what went down.

"Well, after the date she wanted to go back to her place!"

Yeah..? the friends all urged

"So we ended up in bed and sure enough I thrust it in!"

Yeah..?

"She was really into it! She squirmed and moaned!"

Yeah..?

"And every time I thrust, her toes would curl!"

"YOU IDIOT! You forgot to take her pantyhose off first!"

What does eating an old lady's pussy taste like?

Depends...

Q: what's the difference between a baby and a feminist?

A: if you give a baby what it wants, it usually stops crying.

Q: why don't women fart as much as men?

A: they don't shut the fuck up long enough to build up any pressure.

@deeplydisturbed only thing I'm "woosening" is ur mom's pussy

@Typo-MAGAshiv

Woosers.

A 75yo man meets and falls in love with a 25yo woman. At their wedding, his brother pulls him aside and asks, "How in the world did you get such a younger woman to marry you?"

The groom says, "Oh, I lied about my age!"

His brother asks, "Oh, so how old did you say you were?"

The groom replies, "I told her I'm 87!"

@deeplydisturbed your Alzheimer's must have been contagious!