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15m ago The Hub
@Typo-MAGAshiv @Typo-MAGAshiv yes, my comment was a monument to commemorate the LLS retard
2h ago The Hub
@Goingthedistance It sounds like you are doing all the right things, building the big picture of your life and when the pieces are all in place women usually turn up. Don't worry about the late blooming. Many of us were late bloomers.
Its often easier to see from the outside when there are too many red flags than when you are on the inside. You are supposed to see good in her, you are supposed to bond to her and trust in the relationship (if you are not broken from too much casual sex or failed relationships).
I always tell my children that the time to decide if someone is right for you is not when you have been dating a while but "Before you say hello". I don't mean before you are introduced (because that would be plain impossible) but before you give any indicator of interest. Once you start something, it can gain its own inertia and the glasses are supposed to be rose tinted if you are not damaged. To avoid wasting time (and becoming disillusioned with love) one has to screen critically and with disinterest before deciding if you are even attracted to someone. Then the odds are whatever happens, it won't end too badly.
Obviously you can't make a perfect initial screen (because you don't know that much at first) but if you are only talking to people who pass that screen and who you really fancy physically, the chances of something like this happening again are less. If you had said "Claimed virgin, does that mean just plain frigid or medical problem or too mentally unsuitable, I must look deeper before chatting her up. I will talk to her just as an acquaintance". Then "Ah takes sleeping pills, yes there is a mental aspect here probably..."
It sounds like it will all work out well in the long term anyway. You have the macros falling into place.
Read Morethe text game is good
Did she fuck you?
This should answer the reality of your belief system
6h ago The Hub
Not sure, the text game is good. I've gotten the "you always know what to say", "where did you get this good?" , "do you think i'll fall for your rizz like all girls you talk with? because I am".
Never the less, I should push for meeting ASAP instead of loitering via text for days if not weeks. What does help a lot is talking with multiple chicks at the same time, it's like they smell each other and it's soft dread.
6h ago The Hub
1) have you actually read the sidebar?
Yes
2) have you digested the sidebar?
No.
When you WANT a LTR too badly, you place your focus on the idea of having a relationship instead of evaluating the girl. You become fixated on your fantasy relationship and selectively ignore the things happening right in front of you: her deep character flaws, her indiscretions, and the red flags.
I am guilty of this with all chicks i've approached last summer and today. I'd go head first into a new girl because i want to get laid, and just ignore all but the worst red flags to exist. I did not get laid and i got mentally fucked.
Seriously. Why the fuck is an LTR your goal?
Because I do not think casual sex and hookups will be fulfilling for me. I am pushing for those now, because I Think i need a hoe phase to not only gain experience but to know what type of woman i want by my side and how to handle her. However, the biggest LTR (and marriage i guess) reason for me is that after I'm in my 40's, I would like to have my own family and kids.
A) your mostly mad at yourself for not seeing it coming
Absolutely, I ignored my gut feeling, all red flags and almost invented a new person in my mind that would justify her stupid stuff.
B) bear in mind that the other guy isn't necessarily better than you in any objective way, but rather just in her mind. And women are flighty.
The only thing he has over me is that he's 2-3 inches taller, as for good looks, IDK, some girls told me that he's not better looking than me and I'm jacked, while he's not. He is younger than me, 21 vs me at 29, but I don't think that matters.
Read MoreThere is no such thing as "making it too good via text"
Unless you are promising them a trip to an exotic or famous country and a yatch weekend there is no "too good texting"
Otherwise that's called validation. They get all the attention and validation from you and you get zero sex
Texting is for logistics is a staple TRP tenet for a reason. So beginners don't sit there stroking their dick to the hopes of wetting panties via text. It doesn't
It's a buffer, as addressed in Rollo's essay: Buffers
6h ago The Hub
Sorry for the late reply!
She looked really innocent, 18-19 year old, no tattoos, no attention whoring on social media, claimed to be a virgin and had the speech to play the virgin card too. It was all a lie, to what gain, I don't know but it's for the best I found out before I got involved with her more as that would have hurt me mentally a lot worse than this.
I did do this to myself though, I ignored red flags because she had so "many green flags". I casually ignored how she would take sleeping pills that were also antidepressants, how she'll cry herself to sleep for the entire night over some bullshit. How she was having this ideas of how her life would end and stuff. Sure, I put those all into "she's 18-19, what do you expect, she's confused a bit". Should have known better, since I've meet 18 year old girls that were a lot more stable than her.
Despite being close to 30 years old, I do want kids perhaps after I'm in my 40's. While being a man whore and a Chad is one of my goals, I do not want to fry my brain and pair bonding ability.
Right now I'm working more towards making into my life, getting wealthy before 40 is the primary goal, and having a good circle of friends. I've already achieved part of both goals, I have some real estate, i have a car and motorcycle, I have zero debt and some savings. I have a good circle of a few friends and it's expanding it seems. What I'm lacking is big money and girls, and because I was a late bloomer I am still looking for female approval to know my worth as a man, my SMV so you'd say. I'm working on fixing that, otherwise even if I meet a girl that i want and LTR or marry her, i'll fuck it up by constantly thinking bullshit like "she's out of my league", "all she has to do to cheat on me is to say yes to some better guy". etc.
Read More6h ago The Hub
@Vermillion-Rx That's a bit confusing but it does make some sense. I think I'm making the mistake of making the interaction too good via text and not good enough IRL.
6h ago The Hub
Sorry for the late reply again!
I'm trying, at the moment the pain is mostly gone, also because I've been talking with 3 other chicks at the same time, so i'll just focus on them and not this hoe. The game at least text game is getting a lot better, I've had chicks ask me where I learned to talk like that or "damn you always know what to say". Unfortunately, I cannot control this game, sometimes it's good and sometimes it's just meh. I have to work harder on it.