@Kragzen

What did I do wrong?

I recently went on a date with a woman who was slightly older(36) than me(33). She worked as manager in a tech company(I am in defense and make more money than her but her salary was fairly close). Anyway for the date we went on a walk in a park, I wasn't feeling terribly connected but I decided to talk about kink(BDSM) stuff which she was receptive to. I ended up making out with her and fingering her off the trail(multiple times). We didnt have sex but in retrospect I am pretty certain she would of had I gone for it.

Anyway at the end of date she says she doesn't know if she wants to date me or not but she would let me know in a couple days, the next day she messages me and says she wasn't interested. The chick was kind of walking red flag in the context of LTR material(said she was single because no men measured up, dysfunctional relationship with her father, called herself sexually conservative but went to BDSM clubs).

I'm not so much bothered that relationship didnt work out(she was hot but starting to show her age and for a LTR I think I would want a younger girl) but I don't understand why she decided she never wanted to see me again. This isnt the first time I have seen extreme mood swings from women I did sex stuff with on the first date but in her case I don't understand what turned her off to going out again. The whole thing was pretty odd.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Kragzen Retroactive LMR/ASD, and the cause will be the setting (trail walk).

Things were good in the moment and she let you finger her, but you didn't close. For whatever reason, if things get sexual but you don't close, there's a high chance she won't see you again. If you push things sexually then you need to be sure that you can close.

The next day, she thinks about what happened and that she got fingered on a trail. It triggers ASD and she doesn't want to see you again.

Your best bet here would have been to:

• Pick a better location for the date so that you could have taken her back to your place
• Stopped at making out, kept sexual tension high and then arranged a 2nd date in a better location.

Back when I used to live with my parents, I wasn't able to take girls back home. So a lot of my dates would be places like parks, trails etc. And they are difficult in terms of coming up against LMR/ASD.