How to break up with a LTR

Also available with slightly better formatting on my trp.red blog: www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/1034

This assumes that:

• You are not cohabiting
• You do not have children together
• That a simple clean break is possible (eg she doesn't have your car)
• That you've seen each other enough times that it makes sense to meet up and deliver the bad news in person
• She's at least moderately sane
• You really do want to break up with her
• Agree to meet in public

Agree to meet in a public place with secluded areas (eg quiet coffee shop). Women can be unpredictable when their ego is hurt and being dumped is an ego bash for anyone. You want her to have to maintain a level of decorum.

Be clear with her

First tell her it's over between you. It's important you state this first. No wavering on this. Use words like "xxxx-girl, it is over between us". No apology, no hesitation. Lack of clarity about the change of arrangements will just increase the hurt and confusion.

Then tell her very roughly why: tell her it's not working for you, it's not what you want. DO NOT BE DRAWN ON DETAILS, say things like "I've made up my mind" and "it's not working for me" and "this is not what I want". Note that this is blame-free but without details. No matter how good your reasons are, this isn't the time for recriminations.

Do not negotiate

DO NOT ALLOW ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION... first she'll press for exact details, then tell you how she'll change in this area, and therefore you don't need to dump her, that she deserves another chance, etc etc. Don't go down this road, don't give details, don't negotiate.

If things are going badly, you can leave at any time. Don't forget that. You've delivered the news up front, so you can just say "I have to go" and walk out if you feel you're wavering, if she's getting too emotional, if she starts lashing out, if she tries to negotiate too relentlessly.

She'll suggest you remain friends, and you enthusiastically agree to this. This will make her feel better. Of course don't actually do it because male-female friendship is one-way and will drain you. You need to get her out of your system and to get on with your life.

Stand up, give her a quick hug if she's amenable, say something like "best of luck" and then get on with your life.

You owe her nothing

Remember this: YOU OWE HER NOTHING. Drum that in to your head before you see her. Most likely you've done far more for her than the reverse, she isn't somehow entitled to your continued help and support. You don't owe her a relationship, don't let her make you think you do.

After that she'll likely try to maintain a high level of contact (ie maximum girlfriend privileges but without sex)... you should gradually fade this out (ie increase the time before responses in order to create healthy distance).

If she goes all stalker (ie making any sort of threats against you) then you cut her off entirely, and ignore ALL contact. The only way to ditch stalkers is to give them absolutely zero response to any contact they make. They almost always fade away over time.

Bonus: optional continued fucking

If you want to continue fucking her (and this is frequently possible), then this has to be done AFTER the new boundaries are clearly agreed (this needs at least a month with no or almost no in-person contact). If she lashes out at you in any way due to the breakup then cut all ties - continuing to fuck her with no relationship isn't going to make her behaviour improve.

DO NOT FALL BACK INTO BOYFRIEND MODE.

Do not be her texting buddy.

Fuck a few other girls before you go back to avoid oneitis.

Good luck with your breakup: I hope it goes as smoothly as it can

What’s going on fellow RP’ers. This forum is a breath of fresh air I gotta say. I enjoyed the asktrp posts on Reddit but since it shut down I figured I’d sign up and post here. I’m brand new and trying to post on the ask/trp side but can’t figure it out- public square seems the only place I’m allowed atm. It’s 2 AM typing this out after dropping off my emotionally disturbed LTR (girlfriend?) but what the actual hell, how did I end up here? …

Idk what happened lol. I’m 24 rn and in most ways have never been better. Just graduated college, job prospects are going up, finally have time to work on personal projectslike starting a YouTube channel. Getting back to lifting 3-4 days a week instead of 1-2 now that I don’t work full time far away on top of full time college being over. Out of the military reserves in 3 months so I’ll have even more freedom/time. Safe to say, I’m finally living life now like I want and it’s all going up. It feels awesome. I’ve been looking into (and living in RP ways before I knew ab an actual community and method) for a little over 2 years now. Funny how once your eyes are opened to this life, it snowballs and makes more and more sense.

Now I’m gonna be real, I’m not a natural RP guy. I grew up beta as hell and in some ways still struggle with it. With time, maturity, and abundance mentality though it comes so much more naturally and I feel at my prime with this mentality. Truly feels like I’m rewiring myself into what I should’ve been all along- life is getting better.

My kryptonite is women. Yeah, I’m learning. With time I’m realizing how 95% of women are all the same in the sense they want to be lead, protected, provided for, and listened to. Before I lose you over that; on the flip side they’re mostly all hoes too. The double standards and desires are incredible. Ngl, women are almost hardwired these days with no repercussions to “get theirs” with no fear of any falling out or consequences. Most women live their lives in this “reality TV mode” where everything is a game- and my friend you as a man, are just collateral and a temporary part of their dramatic story. As a result any LTR/FWB/plate I get involved with I vet and accept whichever category they seem best suited for. Atm I have an LTR I’m exclusive with because I have morals, am a Christian and respect boundaries I set and would like (could have) married this girl. Thankfully I grew up with an alpha af father who gave me a lot of examples of what to be like with your wife and while back then I thought he was “too much” now I see he was on point with around 75% of it. Yet, their relationship is still fairly toxic and he’s left frustrated and outwardly PO’ed a lot (pretty blue pill imo). I want to eventually marry a no-drama woman who will be a good nurturer and mother, someone who craves a fair and just alpha/redpill frame. They exist, albeit these days it’s a numbers game and it’s like finding a unicorn, but I’m optimistic and don’t want to settle for anything less. I realize these days a man can be fooled for awhile and maybe the woman seems like she’s cut out, but ends up being another high drama or independent type. I know a lot of it is up the man and frame, but sometimes the baddest of boys will be ran over by a woman for “just how she feels”: this is where I can’t wrap my head around things..

Right now my head is spinning. It’s like I know the answers but I don’t know how to actually proceed. Today my LTR of 10 months had a freaking meltdown. Comparatively to some it wasn’t bad like popping tires or breaking windows bad, but holy. balls. of. fire. This was bad for her. We wake up, we fuck, she seems pissed, whatever. We have 30 minutes to get ready for church, she says I don’t have time, I tell her doesn’t matter you’ve gotten ready for work/school in 10 minutes we’re going. She acts all pissed saying she hasn’t washed her hair I just ignore or make light humor and get ready for the day. She looks great, we leave, go to church. We get there and walk in on time and she says she wants to sit at the back, i say follow me we’re sitting closer to the front (literally only 3 rows closer than the back). Worship is going on and she tells me with this sour face she doesn’t want to sit here, i say we’re sitting here, she doesn’t say anything and I brush it off and keep singing. End of song she grabs her purse, leaves, and goes in the bathroom and watches the sermon on her phone I shit you not lol. Reason I know this is I texted her ab 20 minutes after she left if she was sitting in the back (gotta show them youre not a total heartless asshole from time to time) and she replied she was in the bathroom watching it. I says “okay making sure you weren’t church-napped”, light humor usually does wonders instead of being passive aggressive or butthurt. She likes the message then I sit through church and exit the service talking to a lady who started chatting me up on the way out telling me she could possibly land me a career in the field I’m interested in. She asks for my number and we part ways. LTR sees this from a close distance and I know she’s pissed but she’s not saying a word. LTR and I exit church and get in the car. She’s on the verge of tears and so I make some small talk and end in silence. After a few seconds I say “baby is there something you wanna say, if so I’m right here listening” usually works every damn time. But no, not today! Lol. She says no, I say ight and drive a little bit and ask if she wants me to bring her home since I know where this day is headed- can’t go do shit with a girl on the verge of tears. She says “if you want” so we drive to her house and she starts with some tears and I’m cool as a cucumber before, during, and after what I’m gonna tell you. Mind you my frame was ROCK HARD today. Recently I’ve been working a job I get to interact with a bunch of chicks my age and with the abundance mentality and way life is heading I feel great, and I know it’s emanating from me since women are approaching me and I have no problem saying or getting what I want (you know the feeling, mojo on point). Back on topic: she starts with tears and I’m like “(LTRs name) if you’re not gonna communicate with me we should cool off and talk later, but I gotta go get stuff done”. Anyways this is prob a bad move since she hits me with the “you drove me home so you don’t wanna hang out” I calmly restate my point and then after she starts losing it. Full on meltdown. Saying i don’t care about her, it’s always about what I want, how I don’t care ab anyone but myself, I don’t listen to her, how she didn’t feel protected because I didn’t want to sit in the back and didn’t chase her when she left me in church (lol the fucking logic right). Never seen it before. She starts hyperventilating, tears like you wouldn’t believe, and goshdamn the SCREAMING (no words) in my car. Like this chick’s WORLD is falling apart. Like she found out her whole family was just killed or something. As this starts I’m thinking to myself “wtf is going on she can’t go in like this, LTR’s mom might call cops or neighbors might”. On the inside I’m fucking confused but outside I’m still cool. So (I prob screwed up here but damn I was freaked out ngl) I say let’s go for a drive how does that sound, she says through tears “good”. To myself I’m like Ight after a few mins she’ll chill and talk to me, it’s happened before when she’s mad. Fuck no. This bitch starts SCREAMING again and saying her head hurts and she’s clawing her head likes it’s gonna explode. I say you need to pull yourself together before we go in my house (I have roommates), she calms down after a few and then lies down in my car. Finally we go inside, she lies down and naps for a bit and I’m thinking this chick is wasting my time. I realize this LTR won’t work, I remember all the good times we had and I shed a few tears for ab 2 mins while she’s asleep on my chest. I get over it and feel indifferent and know it won’t last, not my first rodeo.

Long story short, she says she was sorry later and how I had to see that, I don’t say a word and she goes into some story ab how she had an anxiety/panic attack, how it’s only happened 2 other times in the past, that cuz she didn’t have enough time to get ready before church she felt gross, wanted to sit in the back cuz she felt like she was suffocating (right), and how she was having “conflicting feelings” (I’m thinking physical abuse parallel from her stepdad from years ago- hasn’t been an issue till today- I think is what she was getting at). Then says she doesn’t want me to think she’s crazy (of COURSE not).

I’m shook up and know this girl is batshit crazy now. She fucks like no other and will do —anything— I want sexually. She’s been super submissive in other areas up until recently. Ever since she got a job she’s miss independent now and bringing up more and more how I don’t care or whatever. Basically saying in so many words her job/manager cares more ab her than I do. I don’t care what she thinks or says but this shit is fucking exhausting. Convinced she has BPD and thinking she might possibly branch swing but testing my metal to see if it’s worth it. But then tonight after her bs she says she finds me so mysterious, she wishes she knew everything in my head, and basically how she loves when I do things my way. High attraction, but pissed the fuck off and trying to be more dominant- lol what?

So RP Community, where did I fuck up, what questions do you have (there’s more to know but wanted to keep it to the issue/story itself for the original post). With how life is honestly I’m at a point she could walk and I wouldn’t care. Almost wish she would, since I have no clue how to deal with this volatility and don’t wanna end up on the wrong side of shit (and I’ve dealt with another crazy LTR before). Thinking of soft next and/or demote; any advice y’all? Bonus: her love language is quality time (I see her 3-4 nights a week).

Hey bros I got dumped by fwb

We we’re only seeing each other for a month & a half & the sex was really great, but the more we hungout the more I’d notice she was seeming emotionally unavailable & like not really making an effort to be close with me. I’d say I kinda acted like a beta cuz I may have mentioned being interested in a relationship uhhh ya I’ll take that L lesson learned, but as more time passed she’d flake on me more texts got dryer so I decided to do the fake alpha thing & be less available hang with other girls ignore texts stuff like that (I realize being authentic and outcome independent would have saved this) but ya basically she texts me today saying she’s been talking about getting with her ex she was with for 3 years I’m inconsiderate of her feelings etc and said she realized her ex is what makes her happy and she feels like she betrayed him by hooking up with me. So I’m sitting her now blocked from everything do exes ever come back? The times we did go out were always fun I’ve just been focusing on lifting heavy and reading books like way of the superior man etc. Should’ve read them wayy sooner