Field Report: Date with an HB – Lots of Laughter, Physical Contact, but No Kiss (Looking for Feedback)

Context and Background

Last night, I went on a date with a girl who is clearly attracted to me. The date went well in many ways, but there’s one major issue I need to fix: I didn’t kiss her.

It’s not like there weren’t any good moments. There were plenty of opportunities where I could’ve gone for it, but I held back. Why? Probably because I’m still fighting with a “nice guy” mentality that makes me hesitate when it matters most. I want to break down what went well, what didn’t, and get some solid feedback from the veterans here.

What Went Well

1. Consistent Physical Contact:

   • I maintained a good level of touch throughout the date:
     • I touched the inside of her leg.
     • I held her hands frequently.
     • I stroked her neck and fixed her hair.
     • At one point, I even kissed her hand in a playful, confident way.

   She seemed comfortable with all the touching—she never pulled back and even leaned into it at times.

2. Handled Shit Tests Well:

   • She threw a few shit tests my way, but I kept my cool and responded confidently without coming across as needy. I stayed mysterious, which seemed to intrigue her.
3. Used Humor Effectively:
   • I had her laughing the entire evening. I teased her lightly about things she did and made playful jokes. She was smiling nonstop and seemed to genuinely enjoy herself.

What Went Wrong

1. No Kiss:
   Despite the physical contact and positive vibes, I failed to make a move for the kiss. There were moments where it felt right, but I hesitated. The reason? Overthinking. I kept wondering, “Is this the right moment?” or “What if she pulls back?”

2. Too Much Humor, Not Enough Sexual Vibe:

   • Looking back, I realize I focused too much on making her laugh and not enough on creating sexual tension. The dynamic leaned more toward “you’re funny” than “I want you.”
3. Mental Blocks in Conversation:
   • There were moments where I couldn’t think of what to say next. My mind just went blank, and I felt the need to scramble for a topic to avoid awkward silences.

Lessons Learned and Strategies for the Next Date

1. Stop Overthinking the Kiss:

   • The kiss doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Next time, I’ll focus on acting when the moment feels right without overanalyzing. If she pulls back, I’ll just smile and say, “Don’t be shy, I know you want this,” and try again.

2. Reduce the Comedy:

   • I can’t be the stand-up comedian of the night. Humor is useful, but it needs to be balanced with moments of deeper, more seductive tension.

3. Create Sexual Tension:

   • I’ll experiment more with body language and tone of voice. I’ll slow down my speech, hold eye contact longer, and add flirty lines that show my intentions, like:
     • “That smile of yours is dangerous.”
     • “You know you’re playing with fire, right?”
4. Embrace Silences:
   • I’ve realized I don’t need to fill every moment with conversation. Silences aren’t enemies—they’re opportunities to create tension. If I can’t think of anything to say, I’ll just smile, hold her gaze, and let her feel the moment.

Next Steps

Tomorrow night, I have another date with a different girl. This time, I’m determined to correct the mistakes I made yesterday. My goal is simple: don’t be the guy who makes her laugh all night but doesn’t escalate the interaction.

I’m here to learn and improve. If you have any advice, criticism, or suggestions, I’m all ears. I don’t want to waste opportunities like this again.

@mimek

Chat GPT has been my only venting/advice source

Its programmers are a bunch of feminists and bloopies. I can tell that some of the advice it has given you is total garbage by your talk about "emotions this" and "communications that".

1) Have you read the sidebars at /r/TheRedPill and /r/MarriedRedPill? Start there, especially MRP.

2) I highly recommend Rian Stone's YouTube channel. He has a bunch of sidebar series videos that are intended as companion pieces (and not substitutes for) the readings.

3) work your MAP. all you can do is make yourself a more fuckable man; you can't make her want to be with you though. She still has decisions to make.

4) keep in mind that the relationship is the woman's problem, not yours. Your job is to get sex. Getting sex is more likely the more fuckable you are.

5) accept that this is likely over, and be ready for the divorce and/or fucking other women instead of her.

6) the more you apologize for the past and the more you seek her approval, the less attractive you become to her. Your groveling just confirms in her mind that she made the right decision by leaving.

despise the beta male I was prior to the separation. I wish to NEVER go back to that version of myself.

A) Then you must stop putting yourself below her by seeking her approval.

B) get in your head the way Athol Kay and MRP use the terms "alpha" and "beta". Beta isn't bad; it's relationship comfort. However, it must be earned by the woman. Unearned beta behavior is repulsive and off-putting.

That's about it for now. You have a lot of reading to do, especially NMMNG, WISNIFG, and MMSL.

and seriously, stop using chat GPT for advice. It's terrible.