@Mate1212

Could you guys give me a book recommendation with practical steps on how to get more self-confident and develop an alpha frame on a deep, subconscious level?

I know the game and all, but sometimes I have a bad instinctive reaction (sometimes just body language) to some shit tests or new situation. I can hold it back, by just saying nothing for a while and realizing what's happening (my intuitive reaction would fail the shit test / situation). I don't want these close calls anymore.

How can I develop such a deep alpha mentality / frame that I react correctly without getting emotionally triggered and having to wait until I'm clear minded and calm?

Self-confidence usually grows as a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper and a pen.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.

Best of luck to you.

@Typo-MAGAshiv Ok, I think we are working with slightly different definitions here but the examples you cite are just what I am likening to the exhilarating walk along the cliff top. I just don't call this dread.

Walking along a cliff edge, it would be dreadful if you messed up or if the rocks were were a bit less stable but to call the state of mind that the walker/scrambler is in dread is a huge exaggeration. In fact the walker will be feeling very safe and happy, especially if she is with a guide she trusts. She would have to really mess up or willingly put herself into dread in the situation I am describing and that is the situation she really enjoys. In this situation she has the illusion of control but knows it is only possible because she accepts her weakness and makes the right moves. She will want to have this feeling again.

When women feel real dread they will usually swiftly comply to remove themselves from dread (or monkey branch the hell out if they have the option). They deal with it less well than men. However they feel no exhilaration, they do not get well bonded to men who put them in real dread, they just feel needy for them. They can become tolerant to this and then feel hard done by (understandably).

I just don't see value in calling a man having options dread. Dread is something else and sometimes it is needed. If a woman is mistreating you or considering infidelity for example it is perfectly fair to give off hints that will make her feel dread at losing what you bring to her but I am trying to distinguish this sort of thing (fire fighting at best) from being the guide who takes her to the exhilaration of knowing she is

@First-light your understanding of dread is severely lacking

You probably read or watched on YouTube some spergtard talking about dread as if it's all about verbally beating his woman over her head with his other options, and constantly threatening to leave.

That's poorly applied hard dread.

Demonstrating value and having options is not quite the same as the use of dread.

That is exactly optimal dread, of the soft variety.

Most women, that's all it takes. Seeing other women drool over you. Having one of her friends joke with her, "if you ever decide you don't want your husband, send him my way!" Seeing other women flirt with you.

Yes, it works long-term. In fact, most who know what they're talking about will say it's necessary long-term.

Women don't want a man that no other woman wants.

@Mate1212 I think there is not as much about this out there as there could be. Married red pill is probably somewhere to start.

RP theory says a lot about retaining her interest by making her work for commitment and sometimes by the use of dread. To my mind these are short to medium term solutions and can actually be counter productive in the long term, especially if heavily used. In the end if you are clearly offering a bad deal by long term lack of generosity and much dread, she is likely if she values herself to think less of you.

Demonstrating value and having options is not quite the same as the use of dread. Dread is standing on a cliff edge or worse a lonely ledge and fearing losing your balance or that the loose ground may give way as you try to progress. A walk along the a solid cliff top by contrast is often exhilarating.

You can't escape being a bit blue pill in the long term if you want to hold a woman. LTR is blue pill in her fantasy version. There she holds Chad as her beta protector. Of course fantasies are not entirely possible. You have to get as close to this as possible, get her reaching for the dream and rewarding it when she does by giving her a bit of what she wants but it has to be a natural reward not a transaction.

Transaction is essential to all relationships (no one sticks about if they never get enough of what they want/need) but women can't grasp this. They need to feel its natural or it dries them up.