Title: (22M) I Have No Interest In Life Anymore, Feel Like It’s All A Scam & Pointless.

In Need of some Advice from the RP Brothers, and the crazy thing is I’ve been RP since I was 15. So you’d think I would have my shit together by now.

Everything was good until 20yrs old , I would work on my purpose, I had a little side hustle which I was making income from which I was able to pay bills and not work for anyone for awhile, I was lowkey addicted to the hustle in a way but I was also dealing with Depression.

The money and house I had, kept me above the water to swim “able to manage the depression and focus on my purpose”.

I would keep up on all categories of the self, mental/mindset, physical (on and off) and spiritual.

Sometimes I’d stay up for hours maybe even 2 days just working on my purpose and reading spiritual stuff…cause that what’s kept me going.

But soon I crashed out and had psychosis a few years back, from staying up for days reading spiritual stuff (big mistake) and working on my purpose.

After that day, I lost the house, barely had any money, lost my smarts and a couple weeks forward I even accidentally broke my hard drive again which had all the stuff I focused on for Years, even some of my best work.

From that point on I just been trying to get where I was, when I had a strong frame, had money, was at the peak of my purpose.

ever since it’s just been adversity, adversity, adversity. I wasn’t a planned child, and I was also told this straight to my face by my own mother. And my father didn’t even have a father so it’s hard for him to even be a father in my life.

But I started thinking that although I wasn’t planned that I still have to suffer the consequences of death.

And I’m just stuck between wanting to live a quality life, or a shit one. And I’ve also realized that it take work to get there but I also don’t want to live an average life cause it’s already hard enough to embrace that.

At this point I just don’t want to deal with anything, not that I want to hurt myself… which I don’t but I honestly just can’t see it through anymore.

I honestly just feel stuck, but I know some tiny part of me wants better but I can’t get that to myself. I’ve been dealing with this for awhile and you guys are my last resort.

Thanks