@First-light Thanks to you too, for taking the time to share your experiences. Very much appreciated.
@deeplydisturbed Thanks a lot for taking the time to write that out. I've got some calibration to do, and this certainly helps.
Questions for the fathers in here:
What are some things you think you've done right as a father, and what are some things you wish you'd done differently?
The trouble with alcohol only at celebrations is the risk of going to a bash turning into going on a bender
Sounds kinda weak on your part. Like, you want to simultaneously be incapable (for whatever reason) and command respect/submission. Can't have one without the other. Don't know what the nature of your medical condition is. But if you're going to be out of commission, then maybe let your wife decide for herself what she needs. If you just acknowledged that in the first place, then you wouldn't have to lose face by first resisting, and then not getting your way anyways.
That whole "not coming around for Easter holidays" ordeal seems kinda pointy and childish too. If your frame is really so weak that you can't stomach an Easter holiday around your nagging (but helpful) mother-in-law, then maybe you should take it as an opportunity to practice a bit of game.
As for the first 2-3 years of a kid's life; Sure, you could say a lot of the practical, baseline nurturing stuff is more mother's domain. But you still form a strong bond with them (one that subconsciously impacts them for the rest of their lives). And that takes time spent with them.
Read MoreAITAH for giving my wife an insincere complement?
She was feeling down, and so she asked me to give her a sincere compliment. I told her: "Your beard looks nice". I was lying though. Her beard doesn't look nice.
This is where you and I differ on this. You seem to think "ignorance is bliss" for the unplugged guy.
Not quite. No one is promised bliss under anything, but rather just optimized outcomes. In the real world, and all too frequently, "optimized" really means "least shitty".
As long as he's plugged in, the old social contract is going to work for him.
Also not quite.
More like, for the average plugged-in man, the old way was better.
He wouldn't ruin it by unplugging, but he'd likely never have the sort of life changing event that causes most men to unplug.
He will know frustration and misery in so many ways
Certainly less frustration and misery than most men have now in the current system.