I have a really hard time "ghosting," ignoring, and leaving girls on read. Instead, I have a strong desire to be brutally honest and mean. I really hate vagueness.

For example. There is this girl I met at in college last semester, and she is obsessed with me. When I downloaded snapchat again, she started CONSTANTLY texting me.

"Alpha" is generally seen as doing what you want to do. Well, I am aware that what I want to do is not normal or healthy:

When she constantly texts me, asking why I'm not answering her questions or answering her phone calls to talk for hours, here is what I want to do. I have an insanely strong desire to tell her that I think she is weak and pathetic, and I don't like anything about her. That I can't believe how fucking entitled she is to my time when I barely know her and I have repeatedly told her I hate texting. I want to tell her she's weak and pathetic for constantly trying to trick me and rope me into some long ass text conversation. It's like she is literally watching her phone for my response, I won't respond for hours or days but when I do she immediately uses that opportunity to try to rope me into some long ass bratty immature little middle school text conversation, then bitches and complains when I ignore this.

"just ignore her dude." See that's my problem I don't want to ignore her, I want to tell her she is weak and pathetic and annoying and I literally hate when she texts me. I want to tell her to fuck off.

When this girl asks "why are you acting weird, why are you ignoring me, why won't you answer my questions?" I fucking hate just being vague and saying "I was busy" or just ghosting the question. I want to respond and say "because I think you're weak and pathetic. You're not my girlfriend, literally fuck off." I want to be verbally and emotionally abusive to her. I am disgusted that this random chick stubbornly acts entitled to my time and I want to tell her this. And I am writing you guys here, because I know this is not normal or healthy, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't know why just leaving things up in the air, ignoring, or being vague makes me so angry I can literally feel it in my gut.

"Dude, whats wrong with you, you just wrote this whole essay about some chick, you're the one who is pathetic" I know man, exactly my point. I don't know what's wrong with me. I just feel so much anger and disgust to this person and I fucking hate that I am supposed to hold my tongue and just be like "oh im busy" instead of "you are a weak and pathetic person and I don't want you anywhere near my life."

I would like some advice and opinions about sex and communication if y'all have some time. TLDR: how to get a girl to communicate instead of literally just not responding to your questions or physically grimacing and recoiling when you do something you didn't know made her uncomfortable.

Last weekend I got a hotel with this girl I've been talking to, and we hung out all day and spent the night together, and I fucked her twice. I also ate her out and made her cum from that first before we fucked. It was really fun but I found myself in an awkward situation, and I was like, bro I don't know what the fuck to do with this.

I had a lot of problems trying to get her to communicate with me before and during sex. When we were making out on the bed, rubbing her pussy and tits was fine. But if I moved my hand up to her neck or to her face, she would physically grimace, spazz out and slap my hand away like I was a homeless man who just groped her on the street. It really shocked me and threw me off my vibes. This happened 3 times. Finally I asked "are you okay, whats wrong?" and she just stared at me blankly. I said again "whats wrong?" and shes like "you keep asking me that!" I said, "You don't like when I touch your neck or something are you okay?" She said "I get claustrophobic when your hand is near my face!" Okay whatever, duly noted. We kept making out and i just fingered her instead.

The bigger problem was that she had a few reactions like this to certain things I did, and there were other times when I couldn't tell if the face she was making was because she enjoyed what I was doing, or if she was just holding back a similar discomfort. And she would NOT communicate at all. If I asked her questions about anything she would just stay silent. I wasn't being an autist about it I was being smooth and had that slow low voice whispering in her ear and kissing her neck and shit (kissing her neck was fine, just no hand). It was really hard to tell what made her comfortable vs uncomfortable and she would REFUSE to say anything or speak up. If I asked her more than once, she would get sad and quiet.

During the day, before sex, we were holding hands walking somewhere. We got in an elevator, and I tried to kiss her and lift my hand up to her face. Well as you can probably guess (this was before sex so I didn't know) she physically recoiled away from me and swatted my hand as if I had a hot iron in it I was trying to burn her with. This happening repeatedly honestly made me feel kind of rejected and confused. But the sex was still good overall and she's obsessed with me constantly texting me and shit like that, so I want to hang out with her again.

Really, really bad at communicating and it made me feel awkward and like I didn't know what to do. I don't want to be this idiot just continuing to do things that she didn't like without realizing it and subtly traumatizing her. Hand on neck during making out is standard as fuck and she had like a body spasm and visceral recoil from it. Smacking her ass was okay though she loved that. How do you get someone to communicate who responds to questions with silence?