I'm about to make a decision that would put me in a common law in my mid 20s.
Is this always a bad idea? I'm stressing.
If your gut's telling you something is wrong, don't disregard that feeling. The guys who did are the ones who share their experiences highlighted by the sidebar content.
When you have legal questions, the best advice to consider is writing those questions down on paper, and taking those question to an attorney. Taking any other legal advice from internet nobodies would be the definition of retarded.
@IHateNames maybe talk to an attorney or two about drawing up a prenuptial agreement or whatever the common law equivalent is?
If they're a effective where you are as James Sexton says they are in NY state, then that can save your ass.
Otherwise, I cannot advise making such a commitment no matter how good she's been; that can all change once she feels secure in her position.
No this is a different girl. The last girl I dropped shortly after posting here.
Common law is as good as married where I'm at. We're already cohabiting for a long while, just to keep her in the country I'll have to solidify it as a common law.
Things have been perfect until legal shit hit the fan recently
A) I browsed your history here a bit. Is this the same woman you've posted about seveal times in the past few years?
B) check the laws in your area. In some areas, common law is as good as married. In other areas (I've heard) you can still easily make a clean break.
C) I advise against cohabiting at all.
I'm about to make a decision that would put me in a common law in my mid 20s.
Is this always a bad idea? I'm stressing.
What would make you give up on a great LTR?
I have a great LTR but visa issues are happening. Making it almost impossible for her to stay in the country.
I can keep throwing money at it but I really don't have much more money to throw. I'm already living paycheck to paycheck to try to deal with this.
I know logically I'm young and it'll be alright but I have that fear of giving up on the first good thing I've had. We've been together around 2 years.
Everyone in my life just keeps saying fight fight, get married, do ldr, etc
I'm tired.
That is a much better way to handle forgivness.
As I right now I tolerate so much and just get mad for a bit them I'm "Forgive and forget". Back to the usual.
Meaning I forgive and then try to 'work things out' even tho me without the 'love lens' would have walked away at so many things she's done.
You're right. Right now I think I'm just looking for reasons to walk away I think.
It's been such a pile up of stupid fights, lying, snopping through my phone when I sleep. I'm honestly just exhasted and I don't know why it's so hard for me to just walk away.
This is one of those things that only you can decide.
how do you want to handle it?
Do you want to enjoy easy access to sex, but know that you can't believe anything she says?
Or do you want to next! the lying bitch?
Figure out what you want, be willing to own the consequences of whatever decision you make, and make the decision.
Is lying a deal breaker for you guys? I mean straight up falsified stories and that kind of thing.
Whether male or female, any adult that casually lies has been doing it for so long that it comes to them with an ease comparable to a fish breathing water on their part and for many are dependent upon it to survive. The problem is that lying undermines confidence and trust, without which there can be no relationship.
I can't say whether you should stick with this female or not, as you're the one dealing with them. However, you're asking us these questions because your gut's telling you something, and it's best to not second guess ones instincts. So ask yourself the following;
If you find yourself answering 'no' to any of the questions above, you may want to consider that the relationship cannot advance beyond where it is and seriously question why you got together with her in the first place.
In future, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library.
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