@Musicgoon78 I think a man with high notch count can still pair bond - I don't feel it affects men the same way it affects women.

HOWEVER

What I have noticed is this: a high notch count is quite detrimental to men. Here's why.

In order to get a high notch count as a man, you are going to have to hang out with sluts. You are going to have spend your youth chasing promiscuous women. Spending that much time (and yes, it takes time and effort to bed women, even sluts) and you end up getting a very distorted view of women.

I see it all the time. Men that get to 35 and think that 'all women are sluts'. They are wrong: all the women that they spent time with in the last 20 years were sluts, and this has coloured their opinion.

TLDR: lay down with the dogs, and you get fleas.

Solution: stop wasting your precious times trying to up your body count by spending your precious youth chasing sluts. What you get isn't worth the squeeze, and you end up with a negative view of the world, or alone. Even worse, you'll end up catchging feelz for one of these sluts, and you end up marrying a stripper / single mum / gold digger.

Instead, spend your energy on your career, your social network etc. Leave the trash to interact with the trash.

@Lone_Ranger

That's a fair point about sluts and I agree. In your post above, however, you weren't talking about sluts but women in general.

Granted, these days sluts represent a distressingly large percentage of that demographic in Western cultures but there's still a distinction to be made between them and women who haven't ruined themselves by chasing the tingles dragon all the way into spinster/single motherhood, rare as the latter group admittedly is.

I'll happily acknowledge I don't have any real experience with sluts and how they operate. I've never been remotely Chadly enough to attract them and, outside of my teenage years when I was staring down the twin barrels of maximum libido and minimum good judgment, I've never really wanted to. I realized many years ago if I can't find me a good egg I'm better off abstaining from dairy in general, if you take my meaning.

@Lone_Ranger I've had ones I ended it with try to come back, and ones who broke up with me try to come back. I never took any of them back or entertained any of them beyond conversation.

One of the ones I ended it with was going to end it with me anyway, as she had somehow gotten engaged in the 2 weeks between seeing each other in-person last and when I told her it was time to move on (I'm 99% certain she was fucking him concurrently with me and likely a few others). same woman has reached out to me via Facebook several times over the years (I haven't been on in years, but I bet there are messages from her waiting for me), despite both of us being married and my having told her that I don't wish to remain in touch. I feel bad for her husband. He probably has no idea what a whore he married.

Different woman, easily just as big of a whore, sent me messages basically spilling her guts that she wished she never broke up with me, never stopped loving me, and just wanted another chance. This was maybe a year to two years after our breakup, and for all that it was satisfying in many ways, it was also sad and pathetic.

Those two were the most obvious in their attempts. The others who tried anything, it was just probing ("hey, long time no see! how've you been?" kind of thing), but I knew what they were up to.

What I'm trying to get at...

In the 5% of the cases where I have been dumped, they don't come crawling back. And I totally understand that - why would they? A man that they have been dumped is in their eyes, a loser.

Odd. The ones who dumped me realized they fucked up. And I was just a Junior-Enlisted Soldier at the time, and from what you've said, you've been rich for quite some time. I don't know if I alpha widowed those chicks (there's only one whom I'm sure I did), because I sure had a lot of beta behaviors.

Not sure where I'm going with this anymore. Kind of rambling, and keep getting distracted and losing my chain of thought.

Mostly that I'm surprised that none of the ones who dumped you tried to come back. That happened to me a lot. The two I expanded on were just the most blatant and hilarious to me.

@Lone_Ranger

post wall CC riders are actually still seeking committment - my interpretation is that they aren't (even thought they think they are).

I agree with you.

My ex got right out there to live "her best life" with her new (single) friends (and a few married ones). They went out, danced, Vegas trip - the whole sterotype.

But that got old real quick. She was mid 40's and that has a life span.

She had her fun, and then found a new guy. He was so far below me in status in every possible way, I know for a fact that she knew she had screwed up.

She started being nice to me again, and even invited me over for dinner with her and the kids once. She served me food old school style. by that time I had enough modern RP info in my head to smile on the inside.

This shit is eerily predictable.

But she was NOT looking for commitment. She had a nuclear case of FOMO because of her social circle, and she FAFO 'd real quick.

In this case, FOMO led to FA which led to FO.

I'm copyrighting that shit.

I'm a genius.

TL;DR - a woman's internal world is a swirling mess of emotions, and what she may feel in the short run can often run contrary to what she wants in the long run.

@Typo-MAGAshiv so much to reply to! In reverse order....

The pain of divorce I feel like I am already past the pain of divorce, even thought its still not even final yet. I very quickly realised that I am going to be better off in the Long, Medium and even short term.

A few things that helped me

Get right out there and get laid. I met a hotter, younger, thinner, even shorter (shortness is my kink) chick at a wedding recently, and I was shocked at how easy it was to pull. Brilliant woman. Instantly obedient, good natured and very very hot. We had a short relationship, and then I replaced her with another chick.

I refused to move out when my now ex filed. (don't ever move out if your ex files - everyone should know that). So we actually lived as ex's for about a month. This is the most theraputic thing that can happen. You get to experience as an ex. The worst thing that can happen is that your ex leaves, then files and you never see her again. You will start missing her and heart break etc.

I highly recommend co-habiting with your ex for at least a month after she files. I instantly stopped doing things for her. It was all good natured, no screaming and shouting, but it was so interesting to listen to her. to have those convos - she listed all the reasons why she was leaving me - and it honestly is so theraputic to hear. It reveals to me that she is just crazy.

Last word on our back and forth about original thread We are nearly in agreement - your position is that post wall CC riders are actually still seeking committment - my interpretation is that they aren't (even thought they think they are).

I think they are addicted to the hunt. They enjoy the travel, not the destination. In reality - committment is not hard to find. J-Lo and many others found it many times in their lives, and it always gave them the ick. So they jumped back on the CC 'looking for committment'. It's the looking they like, not the finding.

@MentORPHEUS this is a great post Mento. One of the better ones I've read in a while.

I totally identify with it. I'm creeping up to mid 50s now, and I've had time to experience and think about life, and esp my own actions.

You bolded the 'crushed' bit. I know what you mean.

I've been blue pill, been red pill, and I've played around, cheated etc.

I've had a fun, but I also have regrets. One my biggest regrets is cheating. Or treating women really badly, usually as some sort of power game, sometimes even out of revenge. I may have had my logical reasons to treat women really badly - (for example, the love of my life is/was a wonderful woman, but with one flaw - she would behave badly when I treated her kindly, and would behave like an angle when I treated her like shit. In that context, what was I to do? I wasn't born with the reflex of treating women badly - in my case, it was a learned behaviour. I was simply responding to incentives).

Responding to incentives is basically my life story in terms of dealing with women. The nicer I was, the worse it worked out for me. The more of shit I was, the more pussy I got, and the better they behaved if I let them into a relationship with me.

My regret is that I actually played that game. I now realise that I should have stayed more true to my own nature. I should have simply behaved in a more honest, kinder way. I would have got far less action. But I now realise that it would have been worth the price.