TRP was first to be targeted by rddt, other like Divorce should be targeted next

Silver bullet as contributed by a RDDT user

1. Wife decides that she wants a divorce. This is typically assisted by a large “girl group” who regularly talks poorly about their husbands and generally encourages each other to divorce. This group assures her that she’ll get everything in the divorce. The house, both cars, the kids, and enough money to be a SAHM for the rest of her life.

2. Wife goes to an attorney, who shatters her illusion that she’s going to get everything. He tells her that she’s going to have to go back to work, that you’ll split the assets, and that her husband will likely get 50% custody......unless steps are taken to villlianize the husband.

3. Wife goes to court and gets a “temporary restraining order”. In order to combat domestic violence, almost every state in the union provides temporary restraining orders on a “ex party” basis, which means that her husband doesn’t have any right to tell his side of the story. These TROs are almost always issued, for almost any reason. Typically, the wife claims domestic violence, without any sort of proof.

4. In the TRO, the wife includes herself, the kids, the house, and any other location she might attend. The husband is barred from all of these locations the moment he’s served.

5. When he’s served, he as mere minutes to collect his things. You will do this while accompanied by several sheriffs. When I say minutes, I mean minutes. I got 10. They won’t let you take guns, cash, or any household items other than your personal belongings.

6. The TRO lasts for 4-6 weeks, at which time the parties HAVE to go to court and the wife then has to PROVE the abuse used to get the TRO. Lawyers play dirty tricks to extend this time period, like claiming illness, schedule conflicts and the like. They can usually get 2-3 extensions of time without question from the court, stretching the timeframe from 6 weeks to 6 months. During this time, she’s changing the locks on the house, alienating the kids from you, calling all your family and friends, and emptying the bank accounts. And you can’t stop her, because you can’t contact her in any way, including through others.

7. When trial can no longer be avoided, she takes one of two steps: a)she drops the whole thing. She will get to do this without explanation or ever having to account for the lies she told. They won’t even question it. Or, b)she and her friends show up in court and.......lie. They’ll lie about your “abuse” of her. They’ll do it because they know it’s their word against yours and they won’t be held accountable if they get caught. Bear in mind, if you fail to show to court, the judge will give her an automatic restraining order.

8. Assuming you do show, judge makes a decision: many will issue a permanent RO for no other reason than the wife says she needs one, with the only proof being her word. Others won’t......this is just luck of the draw. If the RO is made permanent, you are barred from your home, your children and your wife for anywhere from 1-3 years.

9. Whether she gets the permanent RO, or stops with the temporary RO, she will tell everyone that will listen that she had a restraining order against you.

10. Because you’ve “been away from the kids so long”, wife will petition divorce judge to mandate supervised visitation, or a “step up plan” to allow you to see the children again. Almost every judge falls for this. Some judges will allow the “step up” to go on for years, especially when your wife claims that she’s been the only one raising the kids.

11. Wife will ask for temporary possession of the house during the divorce, claiming that you’ve been away so long and already have another place to live. Again, almost every judge falls for this.

12. Wife drags out divorce for as long as possible, with primary custody of the kids, possession of the house and almost all of your furnishings. This can go on for months or years.

Other added

To add: judge will act like this is the first time s/he has ever seen this happen. Judges don’t fall for it, they endorse it. Mine worked for 17 years as a domestic violence “victims” advocate before ascending to the bench, so every father I saw in front of her, well she already knew all she needed to know. (As an aside, my ex’s silver bullet was so weak even this judge couldn’t grant it, but that’s where the GAL came in handy so ex could alienate me from kids. Many ways to dispose of a father.)

Presumption of guilt. You will pay dearly to defend yourself and gain back your kids and possessions. Over years. It will all be washed away in the final settlement, the judge and mediator will berate you for even suggesting that this happened. We’re not going to talk about that!!! You’re throwing around accusations and being belligerent!!!

Beware the friendly witness. She saw everything, he said he was going to kill he, raised his hand, and I had to call the police. I was so scared. You get silver bracelets and no constitutional protections.

All this can apply to sexual abuse allegations too, cause daddy touched the kids.

“Proof” and “evidence” in family court = what the judge is feeling at the moment and which attorney is most entertaining, because all we’re doing is taking things from a bad bad man. Judge will listen to momma lawyer, will shut down dad’s. They already know all they need to know.

There are between zero and no consequences for lying…false DV, stealing, hiding assets, misreporting income or expenses. For sure for momma, and especially in mediation. Everything is confidential so a lie in mediation can’t be later used as evidence. If you’re truthful it will be used against you. At hearings, Judge will change the standard of proof, exclude evidence, and when you think you’ve got your silver bullet and she is busted, they’ll just ignore it. Defame, lie, hide. All part of the game.