@Tiger712

Is "fighting" for a girl worth it?

I've been following this sub for some time. I felt really unhappy with myself and currently, I'm still not who I want to be, but definitely managed to improve myself by miles.

I've definitely started to feel more attractive, confident and open. For a change, I also started noticing that a few women have been interested into me, but to my misfortune, I'm not interested into them.

Anyway, to get onto the main topic of this post, I've managed to meet a few people at a recent event I've been at and we formed some kind of a friend group. There's definitely one woman that I fancy, so I'm doing my best to get close to her. I've asked her out, just the two of us and she agreed (though I'm not really sure if she got the hint that I like her, which is why I asked her out). In any case, I've also noticed that she's given attention to one guy from our group in particular and I don't know what to think about it. Maybe it's just the usual talk, maybe something more. The thing is, I feel like that if I want to eventually end up with her, that I'd have to subtly "fight" him in order to prevail. Not something that I mind really, I don't shy away from a potential conflict or a disagreement, but in any case, makes me wonder, is it actually worth it?

Forgive me if my question sounds a bit idealistic, but I never had a male role model that would teach me this kind of stuff, which is why I still struggle with things that may seem like a basic concept to the most of you. I've still yet to go out with her and see if there's any deeper connection, though I also don't feel quite neutral about her giving an attention to someone else. We're obviously not committed to each other, so maybe my expectations may be unreasonable.

I guess to summarize this in one sentence, I'd ask, is it worth fighting this guy's influence and trying to end up with her? The reason I'm asking this is because I believe (maybe naively) that you should go for people that want you and find you exclusively attractive. I'd definitely want to hear some thoughts from you, that would point me in the right direction or give me a reality check. Have any of you been in such a situation? Is it worth it' What am I to do?

Thanks in advance

If you've got to ask if you should fight for something, then you doubt whether the fight is worthwhile. If you doubt something's worth, then it's of little benefit to spend your time and energy fighting over it, so why bother at all?

This reads like you've got one-itis for a girl you barely know who's interested in someone else in your group. The best suggestion I can offer, is that you leave this girl in your group be to date the other guys while you start looking for girls to date elsewhere. She may in future reconsider you, but that'll likely be after the other guys have used and cast her out of the relationship. I'm confident that you can do better than lowering yourself to being yet another Eskimo brother to your guy friends.

As you go about figuring out how to accomplish being the man you imagine you could one day be, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.