Is a complete withdrawal the right response in this situation?
Been with a girl for three dates off online dating. Didn't get to fuck or kiss her, but all the steps in the escalation ladder were done. Asked her on two dates, couldn't kiss her off those dates because she was repelling me. So I thought time to just withdraw cause not getting what I wanted. Told her to ask me out if she wanted to see me again, in a way giving her a last chance. Third date she brought up the "What are we?" chat in a negative light, she said when we spend time together she only sees me as a friend. Then gave some random cop out excuse.
I proceeded to tell her that I'm not interested in dating her anymore, and that when I cut things off I do it clean (never getting back together). I might have acted a bit beta after that and some of the things I said afterwards. But at the moment I genuinely never wanted to see her again. And I thought I'm not spending time on a girl who's basically admitting to me that she doesn't like me.
I'm kind of new to this kind of stuff. Was this the correct response or could I have handled it better?
UPDATE: fixed some grammar and clarified some things
When a chick isn't interested in you during a date to give you a kiss, there's not much reason for her to care that you're denying her your time and attention. Next time you go on a first date and a gal doesn't give you a kiss at the end, don't second guess your gut instincts and ask for another date. Just accept that she's not interested and move on. Sometimes that's not shyness, she's just not into you like that.
In the meantime, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read More2mo ago TheRedPill
@Typo-MAGAshiv Thank you. Will need time to process this more, but this is good stuff to think about.
2mo ago TheRedPill
@First-light @lurkerharisen Great advice, guys! I wasn't calibrating well enough on the day itself. I was just constantly pushing and not reading cues as much because I thought I could get away with it, especially since I felt she was super into me.
In general, just being aware of the dance as a concept is so helpful, and I can work on it for next time!
2mo ago TheRedPill
Shy Girls, worth it or not?
I recently started chatting up a bunch of girls in some of the places I visit for my hobbies, and I was wondering if it's worth it to go for shy girls. I tend to be very direct and try to organize some kind of meetup at first. As in I'll chat to them for about one session, then try and organize something where I can get to know them better.
They seem to be very hesitant to meet up (public places as well). But at the same time I might just not be reading the situation well enough and checking for IOI's because well it's hard for me to read shy girls. Do they just have social anxiety or are they into me (I just assume attraction)? Overall are they worth pursuing / going for?
2mo ago TheRedPill
Shy Girls, worth it or not?
I recently started chatting up a bunch of girls in some of the places I visit for my hobbies, and I was wondering if it's worth it to go for shy girls. I tend to be very direct and try to organize some kind of meetup at first. As in I'll chat to them for about one session, then try and organize something where I can get to know them better.
They seem to be very hesitant to meet up (public places as well). But at the same time I might just not be reading the situation well enough and checking for IOI's because well it's hard for me to read shy girls. Do they just have social anxiety or are they into me (I just assume attraction)? Overall are they worth pursuing / going for?
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreIs a complete withdrawal the right response in this situation?
Been with a girl for three dates off online dating. Didn't get to fuck or kiss her, but all the steps in the escalation ladder were done. Asked her on two dates, couldn't kiss her off those dates because she was repelling me. So I thought time to just withdraw cause not getting what I wanted. Told her to ask me out if she wanted to see me again, in a way giving her a last chance. Third date she brought up the "What are we?" chat in a negative light, she said when we spend time together she only sees me as a friend. Then gave some random cop out excuse.
I proceeded to tell her that I'm not interested in dating her anymore, and that when I cut things off I do it clean (never getting back together). I might have acted a bit beta after that and some of the things I said afterwards. But at the moment I genuinely never wanted to see her again. And I thought I'm not spending time on a girl who's basically admitting to me that she doesn't like me.
I'm kind of new to this kind of stuff. Was this the correct response or could I have handled it better?
UPDATE: fixed some grammar and clarified some things
When a chick isn't interested in you during a date to give you a kiss, there's not much reason for her to care that you're denying her your time and attention. Next time you go on a first date and a gal doesn't give you a kiss at the end, don't second guess your gut instincts and ask for another date. Just accept that she's not interested and move on. Sometimes that's not shyness, she's just not into you like that.
In the meantime, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read More