I'd like to start off by pointing out that I'm writing this post primarily as a way of organizing my own thoughts on the matter, but also hoping to hear from more experienced members of the community who might've gone through a similar phase in their RP journey.
Some background first. Spent the last two years focusing on myself and my life. I've had all the "basics" covered throughout pretty much all of my adult life: kept in shape, dressed well, advanced quickly through my educational/professional career etc., but always been a major beta pussy when it comes to women (excluding the times where alcohol helped me grow some balls and actually talk to a living breathing female).
As for my current situation. I'm now slowly getting back into the game: not focusing on it 100% but definitely trying to make a conscious effort to steer my life in the general direction of pussy. I'm now regularly seeing a girl I met online, it's super casual so I guess you could call her an FWB. She's an exchange student in my city and is only going to be here for a limited time, so there's a mutual understanding that this will never be a LTR or anything serious. I wrote about my initial experiences with this chick in a field report a while back (check my profile if you're curious).
As mentioned in the beginning, I've historically always been a typical beta/niceguy, and this behaviour has always manifested itself in one way or another in my previous interactions with women. But it's different with this girl: I've now studied the art of TRP, internalized the entire Sidebar and am applying it all in practice. I'm leading our dates, maintaining a rock-solid frame, dominating her in bed - and she's loving every second of it. I feel like I'm finally internalizing the truth that women are not some fragile little things that need to be cherished and pedestalized - you can talk to them like any other human being, you can tell them what you want to do with them, and what you want them to do for you.
This is what I now understand. But here's the problem. I am by now well aware that approaching women, talking to them, and even asking them out are not "bad" things that should be feared. I'm also now aware of all the opportunities to do this: the cute employee at the local supermarket that always smiles and greets me when I come in at night, or the coffee shop barista that always draws a heart on my cup with a sharpie (talk about an obvious IOI). I see these opportunities, and I even truly believe that some of these girls may be genuinely interested in me. But I don't do anything about it. It's almost like muscle memory, or a bad habit: it's what I've always done. I say "hi" and move on; I get my coffee, say "thanks" and move on. It's both fascinating and frustrating to me that I can be a Gigachad with the chick I'm seeing yet still act like a total beta when living my regular life: be it getting coffee, groceries, or at the gym. And this change sometimes happens within a span of literal minutes/hours.
And so I'm turning to the community for advice. I understand that this is definitely an inner game issue on my part. But I'm having trouble understanding how my beta behaviour is completely gone with this chick, yet it's still manifesting itself in my other daily social situations. I have trouble believing that these two "domains" are really that far apart that confidence built in one would not transfer over to another. I'm curious if anyone else has had similar issues, and how did you overcome them?
Anyway... Thanks for coming to my TED talk! Looking forward to hear what y'all think.
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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