@fumandobebiendo

Am I fucked beyond repair?

This was the first time I tried to promote a bitch, fucked it up with plate of 8 months that was becoming gf.

I have tons of trust issues due to AWALT and was trying to prove this bitch was not fucking other dudes before taking this step (yeah maybe caught oneitis too) so hired a couple PI to watch her / infiltrate her life (social circles) to get more information, etc and she caught me one day she created drama and asked to review my phone (I put resistance but she threatened with ending things immediately if I didn’t comply), she saw everything (that I’ve been following her, that some girls she became friends with was just an agent that I infiltrated in her friends group, etc etc etc). Before this she was also not trusting me (the phone thing was due to her suspecting I was unfaithful..) because I tried to be Chad all the time and flirted with tons of women, had a couple friends that were pretty and I tried to make my plate jealous. I didn't have other plates, it was all staged to make her believe I have options and I'm a high value dude

Now she believes I am a psychopath that will kill her, she compared me to Joe from 'You' tv series, her mom also knows and the dynamics are completely fucked up, she is becoming paranoid, she thinks I have mics, I record her when we fuck, that I have a virus in her phone (I'm a CS major) etc etc etc

She also brought up that she almost became other person to please me so I could trust her (stopped going out with friends, spends almost all the days with me, has sex with me whenever I want, cooked/cleaned for me, blah blah) -- this was a result of dread and psychological games that I learned here to have her behave in a good way, and she was becoming a house wife

Thing is, now it seems I need to blindly trust her from here as she made me promise her this would never repeat and the ball is on her court for ending things if she can’t stop thinking about me hurting her badly or if she finds another dude. I can't stop thinking this bitch just wants my commitment, resources and time, while she continues fucking other dudes, like all fucking women, they are all full of shit. For her, it's going to be even easier now as she controls the whole thing and the promise is that she will communicate if something happens some day with any dude, hence I can't even question any behavior anymore.

How can I come back from this? How can you trust a woman despite AWALT?

That's absolutely diabolical. You actually hired private investigators and actors to befriend and spy on a female you've been dating for nearly a year before deciding to be exclusive? Seriously? Now this is a manifestation of one-itis I kind of respect. You're a paranoid f%$&er operating on a level most of us have only ever dared to dream. The problem isn't that you got caught, but that you have issues provoking you to do it to begin with.

Seeing as both the girlfriend and her mother are confident that you're an @$$h0le, why stop now? Keep going, but be more discrete about it. Study the book, install spyware on all the tech in the family home, invest into personal, home, vehicle surveillance, and attend Defcon. Continue to develop your domestic espionage game. When you get a chance, find out if you live in a one-party consent state when it comes to recording. You know what, if you're throwing cash at a private investigator, and actors, you should just hire an attorney to advise you so you know how far you can allow your spying to go before it's a criminal offense.

@fumandobebiendo

AWALT, how can I become better at recognizing their crap?

Hello brothers. So, all women are trash and will cheat. I’m trying to vet a bitch that gives me LTR vibes sometimes (good family, been on long LTRs in the past, lowish body count, no tattoos, doesn't party, no slut friends, etc), but I'd like to point some crap I've seen to hear what you guys think:

• Being very secretive of her phone (long password to unlock, fingerprint for all apps, all her chats in WhatsApp are archived so notifications don’t pop up, always on do not disturb, etc)
• Sometimes no answers after 10-11pm, even though she was with me at 9:30pm when I left her home
• Goes to the bathroom for like 20m to "try" to take a shit (I've monitored and she doesn't seem to talk with anybody else as I would hear)
• Tends to entertain other guys at the gym (laughs, flirt, talks, etc) in my fucking face (i play it cool like I don’t notice to not show I care about losing her), some of those guys are even more "Chad" than me
• Doesn’t interact much with me in social media but by spying in her instagram I see that’s not the case with other guys
• Some bikini photos when we went to the beach,
• All pictures are her alone, asks me to take her good pictures on the places places we go to but never publishes the ones with me
• Goes to other places in the house to pick up a call with her mom (I've monitored without her noticing and yeah the conversations seem to be with her mom given the stuff she talks there, the thing is, why the fuck she does that)

Essentially I need to understand how do you identify the line between being a controlling beta simp / stalker and being just not an idiot? I don't want her to cheat on me without me noticing, that would make me feel like an imbecile. I guess my question would be how can I better monitor for her cheating to see if she’s worth it

I also think sometimes she is just plating me but would like to hear how do you recognize that too. Sex tends to be great 2-3 times/week and we see each other frequently as we live close. Has never denied a plan to me or done other stuff that could make me suspicious (only the points I mentioned).

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.