@kend Have you read anything surrounding "rules of eye contact?"

Staring unbrokenly at a stranger gets received as an imminent threat. Don't believe it? Imagine doing it in a biker bar or prison yard. Women, being weaker than men, put a premium on personal safety that men have a difficult time intuitively relating to; you are putting that into play with uncalibrated eye contact that never breaks appropriately.

There are many alternative ways to break eye contact besides looking down, and along with that other cues of defeatism like mouth and cheeks and shoulder/spine posture subtly suggesting defeat or submission.

In the context of flirting, you want your eye contact to get received as playful and non-binding. For example, instead of maintaining it continuously like some targeting laser or tractor beam, hold it for just one second longer than polite indifference of looking away at once, perhaps turning the gaze to your path or something still near her, then looking back at her eyes a few moments later but while she's still a public distance away. Around the same moment of looking away, smile warmly/pleasantly but not necessarily snarky or sinister (Chad Game comes much later, we're on the basics here). Maintain relaxed and confident body posture throughout.

Remember, eye contact and the emotions it invokes are survival level imperatives in social animals like us humans; they are hardware level features in the brain. It takes learning to avoid the automatic responses, and directed effort and careful feedback to fully extinguish the automatic body language tells when they get invoked, even after you become consciously aware of them.

Therefore, this is not a simple matter of reading a tip or two and thinking, "Okay, do this but don't do that."

Eye contact is only one channel of body language, so you have to work on all the channels together. If individual components of your body language are incongruent with the rest, it comes off even to non-experts as fake and probably signalling untrustworthy or with ill intent.

@kend

Is watching porn bad for the brain? I need a confirmation to stop watching it. On the web some say that it's bad and the other half says the opposite!

Whether watching pornography is bad for ones physical and mental health is regularly discussed on TRP. You'll also come across some links with information pointing out the various ways in which all participants are being exploited. In the few years I've observed the discussion here, it's clear that the hedonists, sensualists, and Satanists are adamant that it's perfectly fine, primarily because they argue that primal desires for sexual release is all the reason needed to seek it out.

Give them enough scrutiny and you will notice them as they will apply this ideological delusion to justify, rationalize, and even defend pedophilia, homosexuality, as well as gender dysphoria Frankly, I wouldn't be particularly surprised if they're card carrying members of NAMBLA, similar organizations, and have robust connections to child sex traffickers.

However, when everything is said and done, you must decide for yourself if you're comfortable with using pornography for masturbating. That's you're asking if there's something wrong takes guts. If you have an honest desire to remove pornography use from your life, it would likely be best for you to direct your questions and concerns to the guys over on the nofap.com forum as they specialize in such efforts. I hope you make the choice with the best long term benefit for your physical and mental health. Good luck.

@TwoInchesOfShaft

if it’s better there and less bullying, then it was the trainer who was probably to harsh. Some people are just not made to be in positions of power,

This was one of the plot points of the movie The Karate Kid. He tried an asshole karate studio, then met up with Mr. Miyagi who immediately started him with physical grunt work like wax on, wax off. When he started rebelling at being treated as a slave, Mr. Miyagi said Show me sand the floor! Show me wax on, wax off! then feigned attacks for which these were the responsive moves. This is a difference between uselessly aggressive versus functional "bullying."

@kend I agree with finding a dojo or sparring gym you can stick with. I spent years learning a martial art later in life, and the difference in my frame and confidence is different in ways I couldn't have predicted. If I had done this at 20 my life trajectory would have gone much differently and almost certainly better.

@kend

I have cptsd freeze/fawn and they're my excuse for my shitty social life. I used to get so angry at myself for being a "pussy" and freezing in conflict because i didn't know what the hell was wrong with me but after years of looking for the root problem i found that i had cptsd freeze/fawn. It's a real thing. Now i'm not angry at myself but i use it as an excuse for being a "coward". After reading about it i learned that it's really hard to get rid of it, if not impossible. It's a defence mechanism, found in all mammals. What do you recommend me to do?

For now i go to work I exercise and i develop my craft but i have a shitty social life.

I stand by what I told you last year. Be patient with yourself. Keep training at the boxing gym and when you've learned the basics join in the sparring sessions. Sparring is absolutely necessary to condition you to no longer fear being hit or throwing a punch. Keep lifting weights and doing calisthenics. Walk long distances as time permits. Eat more fiber plants and protein, be it fish, eggs, chicken, pork, lamb, or whatever.

Additionally, consider getting your hands on a copy of "Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion" by the late George J. Thompson as it will help you to more effectively communicate with and, if need be, define your boundaries with others. The people who antagonize you will be reluctant to do so in-person if they know you can and will respond with force. This combined with The System: The Dating Dictionary will be invaluable aids for you going forward dealing with people. Good luck.