20yo semi-LTR wants me to commit
Some background: I‘m 22 years old, goodlooking, good style, high-status in the circles I frequent - I’ve taken the steps to increase SMV, however because I’m somehow psychologically fucked I have severe issues wrt closing the deal with women.
So this is my very first plate at 22, never done anything w women before. She doesn’t know I was a virgin before her & thinks I could bag almost any women I want lol.
Anyway it’s been 6 months, I told her in the beginning I don’t want LTR and she’s been chasing me ever since. Slowly escalated to the point where now we hang out 5x/week.
She says stuff like she loves me, she’d do anything for me etc. There’s only little drama and she’s hot enough that it sometimes feels surreal when we do foreplay. Plus she does whatever I want without complaining. She doesn’t pressure me about committing except crying sometimes.
I feel like I should be committing already because isn’t this what every man wants? Other men get nagged regularly by mid gf and don’t complain. On the other hand I feel insecure because this is literally my first girl and maybe I should try other girls before I commit. Thoughts?
You're both in your early twenties. While I honestly can't encourage you to make fast moves to lock this chick down, I'm obliged to offer the following praise for you getting a 'hot chick' in her twenties to want to be taken as your wife after six months. That's not bad, not bad at all. Thing is, you've been up front with us regarding your own mental health issues, which you honestly should prioritize engaging, and females have a habit of laying traps with their tears. However, the reality of the matter is few men will be permitted to be fathers, without first taking a wife. So, if marriage is indeed an objective you have, her desire to get hitched creates an opportunity to both educate yourselves on the matter, and learn if she's sincerely willing to submit to your headship. On that point, I strongly suggest that you reach out to @Lurkerhasarisen, as he's one of the longest married guys on the site. I've no doubt he can provide you with counsel going forward on this matter until such a time as you've read up more.
Until then, recon the mother, and observe how she interacts with your GF's father, so you can get a more tangible idea of what sort of woman your hot chick might age into. Get to know her father and let him get to know you. After you've had a few opportunities to do this, give the GF time to meet your folks. Look for books and find other older men who can mentor you on this journey. Keep in mind, this isn't me encouraging you two to marry just yet, but offering helpful suggestions and ideas to help you get educated on marriage.
Beyond that, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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Too goodlooking/Women flirting for attention
If you think this is a troll post don't reply and move on.
I have very good genetics and get a lot of attention from women just based on my looks. Now recently I have realized there are 2 pretty big drawbacks to this that make it "hard" for me to meet new women:
- Women will flirt with me just for attention, like staring smiling etc. even if they are in a relationship and not willing to actually cheat/give me their number. I know to a degree this is normal but 95% of attractive women will give me some kind of IOI (at the very minimum repeated looks, but usually stares or smiles) and it's impossible for me to tell for sure which ones are actually interested without approaching and asking them directly if they have a boyfriend/want to give me their number. This isn't a problem when doing real cold approaches, getting rejected is fine, but I'm trying to find relationship material in med school where people know each other so I want to limit the amount of approaches I do. I approached 5 at school so far and 3 had a boyfriend, 1 was on a break and got back with her bf a few days later, and 1 was single.
- When I dont get that level of attention I'm fucked because I dont know what to do. When a girl gives me repeated glances but wont show a clear signal like eye contact or smiling, I assume shes not interested and only checking me out because I look good. Normally this isn't a problem because enough other girls give me the attention I need but I'm wondering if I'm missing out, if the girls who aren't super flirty might actually be more worthwhile? Should I stop filtering these girls out?
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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