She started almost a year ago as a plate, slowly ended up as a LTR. For a while I was still banging other girls on the side (was allowed to, but she was exclusive the whole time).
She used to worship me, cry often because she was scared I’d leave, would gift me flowers or come over at 2am. Sometimes she’d bitch at me if I woke her up early or something but I didn’t take it seriously because the power imbalance was clearly in my favor still.
But this easter weekend I was at home 4 days, got lazy and spent whole time with her just doing nothing. After 2-3 days she got kinda bitchy, we barely had sex, etc. On 4th day she “broke up with me” over some bs reason (happens occasionally, usually because she went through my phone/got jealous but this time it was just bc I didn’t clean or something). Unfortunately when she called 2 hours later all happy and said she loves me, I met up with her again (shittest failed, but at least she paid for food as apology). I got cold after that and she sent me a very long email next day with things I did wrong like flirting w other women, not replying in time etc.
But after this I realized that she’s been getting more bitchy the past 2 months, and even worse, she isn’t worshipping me anymore. She’ll just say reassuring stuff like “you’re the perfect man, don’t worry it’s not your fault I get bitchy”. Also she said she wants me to fuck other girls on the side again because it’d help the relationship.
What now? I told her I don’t want this relationship to keep going like this and I’m not settling for a semi-good relationship. I value my self respect and would leave her in a heartbeat if necessary but it would hurt losing her and I’d rather go back to when she worshipped me
Edit: Attempt to answer own Q: Get other chicks on my roster again, live without her for a few days and then see where she stands. Don’t make this a big deal, stop talking to her about breaking up just keep things chill
What's done is done. If this is the same female you mentioned a few weeks ago looking to marry you then it might be best to consider this as a another hard learned lesson on the consequences of failing to plan ahead.
I doubt she'd have taken issue with her time with you being limited to just Saturday and Sunday instead of the entire Easter holiday weekend. Four days is a lot of time to spend with a gal who's not your wife, or otherwise unrelated to you. What she experienced may have killed a lot of mystery about you in her mind and in so doing, diminish her interest in you. That might be good, if you're not interested in marrying anyone at all and was looking to boot her out of your presumed inventory of plates, she's self ejected enabling you to passively ghost. However, if you wanted to ride on the momentum of her desire for marriage and have a motivated companion with whom you could help better educate yourself on the subject, this maybe a difficult situation to salvage.
While you study the book and deal with your own mental health issues, it's best you leave her to process her thoughts on the last few days she spent with you. Being married to a doctor, while it may potentially grant her access to a man possessing status, earning a significant income, won't likely afford her a particularly exciting life. If she decides to move on, you lose nothing of value, as it only cost you four days you otherwise weren't using for anything important to discover how fickle she is.
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20yo semi-LTR wants me to commit
Some background: I‘m 22 years old, goodlooking, good style, high-status in the circles I frequent - I’ve taken the steps to increase SMV, however because I’m somehow psychologically fucked I have severe issues wrt closing the deal with women.
So this is my very first plate at 22, never done anything w women before. She doesn’t know I was a virgin before her & thinks I could bag almost any women I want lol.
Anyway it’s been 6 months, I told her in the beginning I don’t want LTR and she’s been chasing me ever since. Slowly escalated to the point where now we hang out 5x/week.
She says stuff like she loves me, she’d do anything for me etc. There’s only little drama and she’s hot enough that it sometimes feels surreal when we do foreplay. Plus she does whatever I want without complaining. She doesn’t pressure me about committing except crying sometimes.
I feel like I should be committing already because isn’t this what every man wants? Other men get nagged regularly by mid gf and don’t complain. On the other hand I feel insecure because this is literally my first girl and maybe I should try other girls before I commit. Thoughts?
You're both in your early twenties. While I honestly can't encourage you to make fast moves to lock this chick down, I'm obliged to offer the following praise for you getting a 'hot chick' in her twenties to want to be taken as your wife after six months. That's not bad, not bad at all. Thing is, you've been up front with us regarding your own mental health issues, which you honestly should prioritize engaging, and females have a habit of laying traps with their tears. However, the reality of the matter is few men will be permitted to be fathers, without first taking a wife. So, if marriage is indeed an objective you have, her desire to get hitched creates an opportunity to both educate yourselves on the matter, and learn if she's sincerely willing to submit to your headship. On that point, I strongly suggest that you reach out to @Lurkerhasarisen, as he's one of the longest married guys on the site. I've no doubt he can provide you with counsel going forward on this matter until such a time as you've read up more.
Until then, recon the mother, and observe how she interacts with your GF's father, so you can get a more tangible idea of what sort of woman your hot chick might age into. Get to know her father and let him get to know you. After you've had a few opportunities to do this, give the GF time to meet your folks. Look for books and find other older men who can mentor you on this journey. Keep in mind, this isn't me encouraging you two to marry just yet, but offering helpful suggestions and ideas to help you get educated on marriage.
Beyond that, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
Read MoreToo goodlooking/Women flirting for attention
If you think this is a troll post don't reply and move on.
I have very good genetics and get a lot of attention from women just based on my looks. Now recently I have realized there are 2 pretty big drawbacks to this that make it "hard" for me to meet new women:
- Women will flirt with me just for attention, like staring smiling etc. even if they are in a relationship and not willing to actually cheat/give me their number. I know to a degree this is normal but 95% of attractive women will give me some kind of IOI (at the very minimum repeated looks, but usually stares or smiles) and it's impossible for me to tell for sure which ones are actually interested without approaching and asking them directly if they have a boyfriend/want to give me their number. This isn't a problem when doing real cold approaches, getting rejected is fine, but I'm trying to find relationship material in med school where people know each other so I want to limit the amount of approaches I do. I approached 5 at school so far and 3 had a boyfriend, 1 was on a break and got back with her bf a few days later, and 1 was single.
- When I dont get that level of attention I'm fucked because I dont know what to do. When a girl gives me repeated glances but wont show a clear signal like eye contact or smiling, I assume shes not interested and only checking me out because I look good. Normally this isn't a problem because enough other girls give me the attention I need but I'm wondering if I'm missing out, if the girls who aren't super flirty might actually be more worthwhile? Should I stop filtering these girls out?
Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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