Hi I'm in need of advice, to learn how to fix my problem, whats wrong, and to know how messed up I am I'm 28, male, virgin, never even kissed I've been to a bar a few times a long ago, but I felt it was impossible for me to approach any woman as if i had something completely freezing me. In the same way I cannot approach in any setting for that reason, it feels like an impossibe thing to do
I read every book that there was on the red pill sidebar, read all of rollo tomassi, book of pook, mystery, the game, anyone you name, I read it but nothing changed at all theres like a steel wall that makes me not approach I rationalized it, tried to tell me its not a big deal, I tried making small steps, but nothing worked I thought about talking to a psychologist, but I dont see myself opening up about this to a stranger, who very likely may be a woman feminist (I know, its probably an excuse I tell myself) I am tired of being the one seeing how others hook up, talk, enjoy life I've been hitting the gym for a while, I look good, many women look at me. Even in the gym, many hot girls look at me and also throw IOIs, but again I can't even fathom approaching them, Same thing happens on the street I thought about going to bars, but I have no one to go with, I think going alone may be playing on hard mode on top of very hard mode I understand, its psychological But I have no idea of what to do, I want to fix this. I only want to spin plates like every red pill guy does, like those stories of dudes simply nexting, having a good time, not fretting over this, getting all of my potential
I feel my youth has been wasted. Thanks for reading.
Read MoreHi I'm in need of advice, to learn how to fix my problem, whats wrong, and to know how messed up I am I'm 28, male, virgin, never even kissed I've been to a bar a few times a long ago, but I felt it was impossible for me to approach any woman as if i had something completely freezing me. In the same way I cannot approach in any setting for that reason, it feels like an impossibe thing to do
I read every book that there was on the red pill sidebar, read all of rollo tomassi, book of pook, mystery, the game, anyone you name, I read it but nothing changed at all theres like a steel wall that makes me not approach I rationalized it, tried to tell me its not a big deal, I tried making small steps, but nothing worked I thought about talking to a psychologist, but I dont see myself opening up about this to a stranger, who very likely may be a woman feminist (I know, its probably an excuse I tell myself) I am tired of being the one seeing how others hook up, talk, enjoy life I've been hitting the gym for a while, I look good, many women look at me. Even in the gym, many hot girls look at me and also throw IOIs, but again I can't even fathom approaching them, Same thing happens on the street I thought about going to bars, but I have no one to go with, I think going alone may be playing on hard mode on top of very hard mode I understand, its psychological But I have no idea of what to do, I want to fix this. I only want to spin plates like every red pill guy does, like those stories of dudes simply nexting, having a good time, not fretting over this, getting all of my potential
I feel my youth has been wasted. Thanks for reading.
It takes guts to recognize something is wrong and to ask for help engaging a problem. The problem in my mind is that you describe yourself as a good looking middle-aged virgin with no experience with females beyond maybe passing interaction. This means that the bulk of information collected in the TRP sidebar is functionally useless to you. Luckily, it also means that aside for your reluctance to engage, you haven't any other deeply entrenched habits we need to encourage you to break. Instead, we can focus you on laying a solid foundation from which you can build upon to hurdle objectives in weeks, or months, as opposed to years on your own as the sidebar writers had.
For now, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.
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@Typo-MAGAshiv from what i think i detected about myself is that it may not be so much about the girl's reaction, but rather others seeing me approaching and being thought of as a "seducer" or "try hard/buffoon" or whatever. I know, its fucking stupid, i know... I remember seeing at one point or another, some dude approaching in public settings, thinking to myself "lol, he's approaching in a public space, its so obvious" but then I would quickly change that to "damn, he's receiving IOI's, he's doing it" And I do agree with you, there's no other way to fix it but by doing it. anyways, thanks for taking the time to answer.
@Lone_Ranger Thanks for answering. While I understand these are question to be asked to myself, and I got the answers to them, there's one which seems to be the most important. "What do you think is holding you back from talking to chicks?" I think it's not so much about the girls reaction or answer, but how the people around would perceive and think of me. "What if my opener is dumb", "what if I run out of things to talk and the conversation follows that awkward silence, and in front of people!". like i dont want to be seen as a clown, or seducer, try hard, or inexperienced. I think that may be it. Have you ever experienced something akin to this? Thanks for your time.
