@w4iks

LTR flaking in new city!!

LONG POST ALERT! Also, English is not my first language. My ltr of 4 years has recently begun her career at a top global company. This has caused lots of changes, majority of which I don't like. I had casually mentioned to her I would be going on vacation in January (I don't work, mainly do informal/illegal stuff). She calls me on a random work afternoon wanting to know when I would be going because she had learned they would be going for a regional conference in the same city. She wanted us to be there at the same time (we had previously joked how she isn't allowed to attend work retreats because of what happens there). I went on vacation one week before her work retreat, even got a hotel close to the one she would be staying at two days before she arrived. They arrived super late and we agreed to link at my hotel the next day. Most of the day would be spent in a conference, teambuilding, then awards during dinner after which she would get an uber to my hotel. Surprisingly, her department got awarded and things were running later than we had expected.

This is where things got interesting; She calls me at around 11pm asking me if we can hangout the next day because 'she's enjoying her moment'. At this point I just can't believe what I'm hearing. She says she's getting recognition and introductions from her superiors and feels like this is good for her career. I can't even contain myself atp because to me it appears like just partying (she doesn't club). I decide to go there so she can tell me this to my face (beta move on my part). I bribe the security guards to let me in and we get a secluded place to talk. It's just back and forth for a couple of hours with her saying how I should be understanding and let her 'have her moment'. How she would be supportive if the roles were reversed blabla. How she has always done what I wanted and nothing for herself and there's going to be a lot of changes. She's even DTF right there but still wants to spend some time. I end up taking her back with me to the hotel and fucking for hours but there's some tension between us. She says she'll need some time to get over the fact that 'I stole that moment from her'. We spend some of the day together then the next morning they travel back home. The problem is I can't get over this situation. I think it has created some resentment in me and while I know she is a good woman from a logical standpoint, I can't believe that my Ltr would blow me off so she can party with her work buddies. It is also important to note that she was ovulating atm. I think my ego is very much involved and I might hurt her in a big way in the future. She has been really nice lately and spending on me (she has always had fantasies about spoiling me back when she starts making money) but I just don't see her the same way.

I would appreciate insight on how to handle this. PS: I don't believe in the whole corporate bs for women and we are only doing this because I'm not where I want to be financially. We both agree when I'm ready she'll quit as soon as she gets pregnant and become a SAHM onwards. For context I'll be turning 29 and her 25.

On one hand, you forgot that your fiancee wasn't in that city to make time with you, but to network with her colleagues and co-workers. On the other, you're seriously frustrated with your own stagnant professional situation and unfortunately took it out on her. If she asks for it later, make an effort to at least apologize to her for that, but if she brings the matter up again you that may be the signs you have a developing problem in your relationship. Also, a lot can change as far as a woman's priorities in four years. She might not want to give up her job, especially in light of your own employment difficulties.

However, it mainly reads like you're uncomfortable with the fact that whatever path you're on professionally, it's not getting you closer to achieving the goals you set for yourself several years ago. If so, it might be time to reassess your situation by talking to the people above you wherever you maybe working, or find someone you trust who understands your situation to give you some solid career counseling. Depending on what feedback you get, it might be the push you need to either re-train for another field, look for employment with another business, or go to university/college to pursue in-demand advanced specialized education. Just as four years is a long time to be going no where fast, it's a lengthy bit of time for a female to be calling themselves someone's girlfriend, or fiancee. I've never known them to wait forever, so prioritize sorting out your professional situation.

Beyond that, consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.