A few years ago my eldest son and I were talking, and the term The Red Pill came up. He saw it in an open tab in my browser, so I explained the basics in simple terms. He had already hit puberty, so the timing was perfect for this sort of discussion. He knew about sex and all that, but this was the next level.

My other children were there, but I directed the answer at him. (Side note: A great parenting technique I picked up along the way, was to do this in ear shot of the other kids. You can bet your bottom dollar the younger ones were tuned in big time - I could tell because they stopped what they were doing and hovered around in the background more quietly than usual.)

The discussion went something like this:

Son, there are many types of men in this world. My best guess is that there are three main types though – wolves, sheep, and German Shepherds.

• First, you have the sheep. About 60-70% of them men you will ever meet will be this sort. He is usually a decent, friendly, nice guy who works hard and loves his family. He tries to make his wife happy and generally does the best he can to provide for the people around him. Some would call this sort of man a “blue pilled” man. Some would call him a “beta”. (He understood the blue pill reference, but I had to explain beta to him too)
• Then you have the wolves. Some people call them “Alpha” males. They generally tend to be predatory, so fortunately there are not that many of them running around. You know them when you see them - they almost always have an unearned sense of arrogance about them. They were born tall, smart, athletic, rich or good looking. There are a few types, but they generally tend to be pretty selfish and cause society a lot of harm. In the movies they tend to be the toughest bad guys. But in real life, they are just jerks who wind up in jail or retired early with “back problems” after making a lot of babies with a lot of women. I know the type well and had a few as friends over the years. You tend to keep them at a distance if you even engage them at all. They are always looking to dominate, which makes them very bad friends.

I let it hang there for a second, to see if he was paying attention, and he said “Dad that’s only two”.

Good. I continued.

• Finally you have the type of man I like to call German Shepherds. Some people would just call them “Good Men”, but I don't think most people even know what a good man is to be honest with you. These men tend to be the ones who keep the bad guys in check. They can be police, military men, blue collar workers, computer programmers, or even teachers. They do all different sorts of work, but they tend to have one thing in common: They are driven mainly by deeply held values. As the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. They are the DOERS of the world. They get things done.

German Shepherds are also natural protectors and they are fiercely loyal. When things go badly, they tend to be the ones who step in to help. The do not run from danger, they run TO it - oftentimes at great risk to themselves. They are helpful, and they search, defend, help, teach, fight, work, and even provide comfort. They also like to play and have fun. But above all they have discipline because they were trained well or learned harsh lessons in life on their own. No matter how they got there, they tend to be drawn to one another based on those lessons and experiences and the values and wisdom that came from them.

But never forget that they descended from wolves. So they are to be treated with respect and slight caution. Once they warm up to you, and you to them, you will know no better friend - and no worse enemy.

And rest assured that the wolves and the sheep both know this.

The Sheep don’t always trust these guys because they cannot figure them out. They tend to be subservient to them though, at least to their faces. The "Alpha" types may test these guys at times, but they rarely succeed in backing down a good man. Wolves tend to travel in packs. They rarely, if ever, step up to a Guard Dog one-on-one. They know better.

(Side note: If you ever want to back down a tough guy? Pull him aside and tell him you want talk to him alone. Go ahead - try it. You will quickly learn what I know - they back RIGHT down because there is no audience, and they know you have the confidence of the moral high ground. They are NOT used to being challenged alone like that.)

Oddly, that is how you befriend one too. They cannot admire you without fearing you on some level. This gets easier when you get bigger. There is a BIG difference between a 12 year old and a 14 year old. But almost no difference between a 25 year old and a 27 year old. Hold onto that thought. You will know what to do when the time is right. But keep in mind, you might also get into a fight if you show fear or get too aggressive. Either way, they will respect you either for challenging them, or for fighting - even if they win. That is how manhood works. Don't ever back down from a fight.

When it comes to girls, the challenge is that most of them cannot tell the difference between these different sorts of men. Unlike the actual animals where you can easily tell the difference, with humans it isn't so easy. Many men try to act tougher, or nicer, or more honest than they really are. Especially when they are little. This causes all sorts of trouble for the good men.

Furthermore, German Shepherds do not act like wolves, but they sure do look like one. They seem to act calm and relaxed and responsible, like a sheep, but they don't look like one. It's confusing to women! Sadly, for everyone, by the time they learn what a bona-fide good man really is, it is almost always too late. They have been bitten by wolves too many times so they will never really trust us. And they are not going to turn to a sheep for protection, because they know it would be futile. Too many times they have fallen for a sheep who claimed to be a German Shepherd, only to find out the truth later.

They may however, turn to a sheep for comfort, But they will never respect a sheep. Nature simply does not allow this. In this one small way, we cannot blame women for being confused. So do not EVER pretend to be something you are not. Strive to be a good man in your words, thoughts, and actions. People around you will get it sooner or later.

And if they don't, then ignore that person. They are dangerous to you.

Also, resist the temptation to become more like a wolf. When they are young, German Shepherds have less fun than wolves. They are too busy training. But a Good Man has a lot more wholesomeness, satisfaction, and goodness in his life. In the long run, it is almost always better to be a good German Shepherd. This way of life gets better and better over time. The alternatives are great when you are young, but they suck when you get older. You will see this sooner or later.

Also too, resist the temptation to become a sheep. It is easy to just sit back and let the world pass you by. Thoughts like “Why even bother”, or “be a good little boy/sheep”, or “step up/man up and take responsibility for wolf babies if you want to be seen as a wolf” should all be banished from your mind. Don't even entertain a whiff of thoughts like these.

Do NOT let anyone tell you that you should define yourself by the needs or wants of a woman, or by the urging of your genitals, or by the yapping of wolves. Never. I will help you define what it means to be a good man, and you will also learn your own lessons and build on what I teach you. Stick with that.

But be warned, life is not always easy for good men. We have to train hard to become a German Shepherd, and we will be tested by EVERYONE – sheep, wolves, and the women in our lives. Even our own mothers. They seem to need periodic reassurance that you are who you claim to be. After all, they have met a few wolves in sheep's clothing- and vice versa, so they need to know for sure. This is where the saying comes from.

Wolves and Sheep are pretty much born who they are – or they were trained to follow their basest instincts. We have more discipline and a higher purpose, and it is up to each of us to decide upon that purpose. Once we grow up, it is our choice and ours alone to forge our paths.

But we must also defend our families from both sheep AND wolves. Both are dangerous in their own ways, but we do not fear wolves or sheep. They are just being who they were born and raised to be. Just like us.

They play their games and we play ours.

And never forget - we may feel outnumbered at times, but we are never alone. We have each other. So there's that. There are also other guard dogs all around us if we need each other. No pack of wolves will ever win against a pack of German Shepherds. That is because we are strong, both individually AND as a part of a pack.

Wolves tend to fall apart without their pack structure. So do sheep. Never forget that.

Children (they were all right there at this point), you will all decide on the type of person you want to be when you get older, but if you asked me I would tell you - especially you boys - to be like a German Shepherd. Find other German Shepherds. There are enough of us out there - there always have been and always will be. And girls, when you start thinking about boyfriends, and husbands, and dating. Be mindful of this story when you start making your decisions.

Finally, my oldest boy asked me something I didn’t expect. “What is YOUR purpose Dad”?

You are son. All of YOU are my purpose and my legacy. Not much else matters to me the way you do at this point in my life. Your mom and I got divorced, and then she died, but I am still here, and always have been through it all. Right?

Listen very carefully - all of you. I will never ever abandon you. EVER. Do you understand me? We have a lot of awesome work to do and huge amounts fun to have! We haven't even started yet! Life is going to be awesome for all of you. I know this.

But in order to get to that awesomeness, you all have to learn how to be Good Men and Women. Something like German Shepherd. That's what I try to be. It will be tough, and it will hurt at times. Studying to be smart, lifting weights to be strong, running to build endurance, martial arts to learn how to fight, and the many other things that will forge you as a good person - these things all stink as you are going through them. But you WILL appreciate it when you get older. I promise you that. Ask me how I know.

And you will do the same with your own children one day. Side by side. Just like I do with you.

I love you son, (and you, my other children). You are the best children a man could ever hope for. THIS is what a good life looks like when you do things right. All sorts of bad things happen, but you pick up and wind up happier, and stronger than ever. And you wind up together. Like us.

Now. We have fun things planned for after dinner, so stop delaying and get your butts back to finishing up your chores!

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