Hello everyone, has been a while!

Context: 31Yr old, business owner, disabled (check some other post to know more about this). Of course, the disabled part, made me completely out of the game at all (check other posts for references about this btw). 26yr sexual worker, 7 with make up, if not 6, full of tatoos, swinger history, single mom, addicted to cocaine ( i would know this later ), working and partying all the time (in a rough spot for covid restriction on work aspect, but also, like addicted, burned all her money so very poor too). She had a beta orbiter already at "home", another addicted roommate, that she fucked for pity for some credit card loans.

Decided to give it a try to something different. The plan, was to hook up a sex worker i knew, for a mixed solution. Where i could put money down, more than a normal client, but with a GF schema, where we would go out, dinner, share things and have sex. Of course, in the need of the intimacy i lacked my whole life, looking to do it honestly, where she could get the benefits of money and status. i would get the company i wanted. I tried with this specifically sexual worker why it looked like she didn't care about my disability. And see me at least the beginning, as a good catch.

We went out first time. all lovey dovey. Even she even insisted to tag her on FB and other people to see it of her circle (this happened only this time only).

Second time, we went to a concert. then i realize the cocaine addiction when i look at her when driving. not good, but nothing i couldn't expect.

Of course, we where seeing each other to mini go outs, where we would just drink something in the car (covid restrictions). All lovey dovey. even more i could expect. But then things started to go south. She started to party again, all days of the week. and 2 weeks later, she didn't even remember we agreed to go out. I was ready to cut out, thinking, this is not working. But then went back at it again, by myself. First big error. We went out a third time. But this time, all lovey dovey, but the restriction started to appear. Don't tag me on social media. Alright... (i bet on social pressure after the first tag, how the party girl would go out with a disabled guy?)

Then, don't kiss me in my neighborhood. Then, we can't go out on our town, we need to go far ahead, 30km away (that we didn't go anyway, why she didn't wanted). Or stay in the car, where we couldn't be seen. In the middle of all of this, crying for help: that i'm depressed, i can't go out with you (but i can go to parties), that i need to move out from my parents house (surprise, she didn't move), things for the bastard kid etc.. Of course, i poured money, why she was professing a so profound love for me at the same time, she just needs the comfort she never had /sarcasm #CaptainSaveAHoe.

For 2 months we didn't see each other, with fights in the middle initiated by me, why i was putting money for nothing more than "i love you" messages. She starts to tells me that i'm insecure, that i'm a coward. but at the same time apologizing afterwards. I was really at the beginning of December, accepting reality, letting all this go. I needed to face a life or death situation (i don't give out details for privacy reason). The night before, she talks to me out of nowhere. i wasn't planned to tell her, but i let her know anyway. Desperate to see me. We see each other 3hs before i need to go to this thing. She has sex with me. All crying, promises that she will wait for me, etc...

During the week, messages of her saying that she is expecting to have a kiss and a coffee with me ASAP. lovey dovey words. Thing of death and life situation is rough, so mother keeps in touch with her for updates. Say the same to her. I will wait for him, i love him, he is the most important thing in my life. She sent me a video crying saying that she is gonna change, that she will look for the help of god.

By just a sheer chance, i grab my mothers phone, and i see that she blocked me to see her social media status but not my mom's phone. Then i see her showing off kissing the alpha after a party at 6am (she said that she didn't share us on social media why she didn't share the people she fucks, only friends, this was a "friend"). Enough of this beta shit.

Nothing new under the sun. Don't care about the money, i make that in 1-2 days. The manipulation when i'm in the verge of death, was just too much. At least i got what i wanted, twice. Just trying to convey, that you should never waiver your stoicism. Your core values of TRP. Money doesn't matter. Death doesn't matter. They just don't care. You can't negotiate attraction. All of this is a game. You play with the rules or get out (beta, cuck, MGTOW, whatever). There is no middle solution at all. No trust. No honesty. Never show weakness. Grab what you can and want. And only think in yourself. And if you are visible disabled like me, sorry, you will never, ever, experience real attraction.

I'm back. And with enough luck, i'm gonna be able to enter the game, as several things are gonna change!

Tip disabledtrp for their post.