I'm from a Reservation in Ca. and I've become one of those people who doesn't believe in coincidences. That maybe things happen for a reason and it's so easy to let reality slip away in an instant. But events like my headphones breaking on me and then ending up with a free pair of headphones shortly after or having TRP fall into my lap to finally embrace what I've been feeling the majority of my life and to be able to relieve the dissonance between what I want and what everyone else wants.

I feel like I'm at a unique point in my life where I either give myself a reason to continue with life or just be done with it already. The person I was before was one who expected things to happen only to be constantly let down. I was expecting happiness, girls, opportunities, all the good things, using my patience the wrong way.

The person I envision myself as and see myself now is the Strong-Silent type. The type who commands respect, that people listen to when he speaks. People, Small talk, and fun have never been my strongest personality traits and I realized that I can't take life seriously and expect to be happy at the same time. Happiness is attained, not granted and life is what I make of it.

Perfect practice makes perfect, but for some reason, I don't feel so far behind, only in the strength department. At 182cm, 84-86kg, diagnosed with Depression & Social Anxiety, things have gone quite well for me and I've just been doing me and enjoying every second of it.

Eye contact: former me's biggest weakness, now new me's newfound and biggest strength.

I think if not for the red pill and all it has to teach, I'd have drowned in a society I'm not built or suilted for nor welcome to and ended up just another statistic.

But then again, I'm just some random dude babbling on the internet >:-)

- Okimaw Maskwa -

Tip TheViolat0r for their post.