“No means no!”
You’ve
heard this before. And you know it ain’t so. Because if you have
been doing this a while, you have often heard “no”, and
eventually gotten to “yes, please”, and even “harder, daddy”.
So
what does “no means no” actually mean?
Well,
if you’re the sort of man who gets to “harder, daddy”, you know
that women usually say things that aren’t literally true. This is
not just about lying… women use language differently.
And
the phrase “no means no” is a particularly clever piece of
female-language technology. It’s a Rorschach test. You
know, that business with the inkblots, where some headshrink whips
out a card and some people say it’s a bat and other people say it’s
a moth.
It’s
neither… it’s a card.
None of us use language literally. Keep that in mind as you try to
understand women.
So,
when men hear “no means no”, they interpret it differently, and
that separates them into two categories…. this
is exactly what women intend. This
kind of language is also known as a “dog whistle” in certain
other contexts.
- Some
men hear “Anytime a woman says no, you should stop forever”.
These are men who take “no means no” literally, because they are
unable to decode the way women use language.
- Other
men hear “No means no
when I say later that it did. But if you get to ‘yes’, I will
never bring this up.” These
are the men who can decode woman-speak.
Each
of these types of men gets the message that women want them to hear.
- They
don’t want clueless men who don’t know of the existence of a
“soft no” to be ignoring “no”… because then they might
ignore a “hard no”, which makes for stalkeriffic behaviour.
- But
they WANT men who are dialed in to persist in the face of a “soft
no”, while stopping in the somewhat more rare occasion of a “hard
no”.
So,
just like the “soft no” itself, the phrase “no means no” is
used to measure a man’s social savvy, and thereby separate the
wheat from the chaff.
So,
how do different
types
of man respond to “no means no”?
-
Your
standard Bernie-Sanders-voting bugman takes it literally, agrees
enthusiastically, and often goes for years without seeing a naked
women in the flesh. These
are the guys women want taking this phrase literally.
-
Your
standard PUA type ignores it inside his head, but agrees out loud so
as not to be detected. These
are the guys women want to ignore this phrase.
-
Your
standard red pill novice realizes it isn’t literally true, gets
mad, and calls out the “lie”. These
are the guys women are most afraid of… he’s too savvy to miss
the lie, but not smooth enough to play along. They are afraid this
means big stalker potential.
-
A fully realized red pill men doesn’t
merely ignore it while making the correct noises…. He constructs a
dog whistle of his own, using his word choice and behaviour to let
women that this isn’t his first rodeo and everything will be
alright.
If any of this is news to you, then
I’ve just turned you into the third type of guy, and your mission
is to turn yourself into the fourth.
Here’s some things to keep in mind:
-
There are hard and soft “no”s.
-
Women want you to be able to tell the
difference.
-
But if you can’t, they want to treat
them all as hard, because having a hard no treated as a soft one is
what they fear most.
-
They will almost never admit to any of
this in literal language, because if any man who can’t tell hears
it explained to him, the game stops working and bad things might
happen.
-
Learn to spot the difference.
-
Getting it right is your
responsibility, not hers.
-
Never try to discuss this openly with
women. Just learn to indicate with your actions that you know.
-
You can sometimes pretend to treat a
soft no as a hard one, if you need to overcome ASD, do a freezeout
for LMR, or just to play her like a fish on a line. Don’t act
butthurt. Big grin.
Tip Whisper for their post.