Sooner or later, someone is going to walk up to you with a bucket, and somewhat breathlessly explain how you urgently need to stick your head in it.

It might have any number of different labels on it. “Jesus”, perhaps. Or “philosophy”. Or “psychotherapy”, “socialism”, “functional programming”, or “steroids”, or “veganism” or “nofap” or “The Red Pill”, or “LSD”, or “mysticism”.

They’ll explain how inside the bucket is a wonderful enlightening experience that will change your view of the universe… and having already stuck their own heads there, they certainly seem to believe it. But is that a slightly glazed look in their eyes?

If we look at this problem in a naive, simplified-math-game-theory way, it’s insoluble. Before you stick your head in the bucket, you don’t know what’s inside. And afterwards, if indeed you do, you don’t know if you have truly gained meaningful enlightenment, or simply been practiced upon.

But the world, fortunately for us, isn’t actually that simple. It’s full of other people.

All you have to do to notice what happened to the other people who stuck their heads in that particular bucket.

Did they prosper afterwards? Did they thrive? Were they suddenly wittier, richer, healthier, stronger, prettier, more insightful? Were their lives suddenly filled with joy and meaning?

Or did they mostly just hang around doing the same old stuff, except now they’re trying to get you to stick your head in a bucket?

Every bucket is going to have its own set of advocates who want you to stick your head in it (because the ones that don’t, you’ve never heard of due to lack of publicity). They’ll promise you all sorts of things, sincerely or not. Stop listening to them, and start looking at them.

If it’s nine o’clock on a Saturday morning, and they are walking up and down your street knocking on doors, then where do you think you will be in five years if you decide to drink the Kool-Aid? If that guy has the secrets of getting rich by flipping real estate, why is he writing it up in a book and selling that instead of using the secret himself? If that scientologist or self-styled practitioner of “magick” can so much as light a single candle with the power of his mind… will he show you, or produce endless excuses about why he can’t or shouldn’t? Will that kungfu master climb in the ring with a decently-ranked amateur boxer?

There’s always someone willing to test the waters for you. If something amazing happens for them, you should be able to see it. If not, you’re just being proselytized by someone with a bucket on his head.

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