Like the title says. Whenever this girl pisses me TF off I just withdraw attention and do something else. I don't act butthurt I just leave and become scarce. Go to the gym, do daygame/night game, hangout with friends, even just put in my headphones and play videogames.
Now what she tries to do is ask for my phone and say the reason that I'm acting indifferent towards her is that I'm cheating and she starts accusing me trying to get me to give her attention by putting me on the defensive. The only reason I don't want to give her my phone is because I have private interest (anime NOT HENTAI, music interests, things from my childhood, etc) that I dont really like to share with anybody not even my close friends.
What should I do on that scenario? Just give her my phone anyways? I feel like that's too supplicating.
danishgee 3mo ago
Dealing with gaslighting from any Long-Term Reader (LTR) can be incredibly confusing and emotionally draining. Their attempts to manipulate your attention, even with the potential allure of a free tablet, require careful consideration and decisive action. Consider the "free tablet at https://freegovernmenttablets.net/ ": Is it truly free, or could it come with strings attached? Would accepting it strengthen the power imbalance or compromise your boundaries? Weigh the potential for control against the actual value.
No-Stress-Cat 3mo ago
Her: "YoU'rE cHeAtInG oN mE, aReN't YoU?"
Me: If that's what you think, why are you still here?
Her: "WhY wOn'T yOu ShOw Me YoUr PhOnE tHeN?"
Me: Show me yours first, and I'll show you mine.
Her: . . .
Impressive-Cricket-8 3mo ago
What you do? You say no. Just that. She may scream, accuse you of stuff you didn't do, break a window, but you shouldn't negotiate with terrorists. If she wants to break up, let her - you'll lose nothing of value. But why are you still with her?
Sure.
Theolympicnomad 3mo ago
Ok thanks for the answer. That's my response always but I just wanted some extra input if it was the right response!
EurasianChad 1 3mo ago
No, you don't give her your phone. Don't get cucked like that. You give them an inch, they'll take a mile. Simply laugh and say "no".
She cannot fathom the fact that you can't be manipulated by her pussy, so she thinks you must be cheating. It's truly a rare man now adays who can stand and not be manipulated or coerced by pussy. Having abundance is rare but being grounded to your own purpose and interests > women is even more rare.
Tell her no. Simple. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. If she leaves, never take her back.
Theolympicnomad 3mo ago
Ok thanks for the reply that's what I do anyways!
Testme 3mo ago
That she would even ask for your phone password indicates that she does not respect you and does not consider you to be superior to her. You are lacking in dominance and leadership.
Theolympicnomad 3mo ago
That's definitely not it. I'm saying it's when she pisses me off. We fuck whenever I want to still. She never withholds sex from me. Even when I withhold attention. She'll ask for my phone, I'll say no then she'll suck me off/fuck me right after.
coolsocks00 1 3mo ago
Everyone is right that you shouldnt cede to her demands.
BUT, you have to deal with the reason she gets this way. It’s not just that she’s a woman and thats the sort of stuff women do. You have to nip this behaviour in the bud and actually get rid of it.
Be a CAPTAIN and make her your first mate. Dont leave her alone with her hamster to fend for herself. Lead.
Read this and apply
https://www.trp.red/p/humansockpuppet/754
EurasianChad 1 3mo ago
Fact.
That article was a great read too.
Lone_Ranger 1 3mo ago
The fact that you feel the need to explain to us (and presumably her) that you DON'T look at Hentai indicates to me that you have allowed a situation where you
You are not alone. Many men allow themselves to be manipulated and shamed by women, and end up in an emotionally controlling relationship, where they are afraid of criticism and censure.
You are allowed to look at Hentai, or hard core porn or whatever you want. And it has nothing to do with her. Nothing. she has no right to decide what you look at. She has no right to even enquire into what you might be interested in.
And she has absolutely zero right to fucking look in your phone. Where the fuck did she get the idea tha tshe is allowed to demand to review your phone / messages?
It really does sound as though you have let this slide, and have ended up in a surveillance relationship, where she is pulling all the strings. You are the slave, she is the master. If you so on the defensive, it sounds like she has gained total control of your relationship. It is my theory that no relationship ever survives the female gaining control of a relationship.
I hate to break it to you, but this relationship may be beyond saving. Make sure you learn from this.
Power is ceded gradually, one instance at a time. It is the same of citizens vs the state. there is almost never a violent revolution in which the state takes control. The truth is that it happens bit by bit, aka the boiling frog problem.
Theolympicnomad 3mo ago
I see what you're saying BUT she has NO control in this relationship l. It was my mistake I made it seem that way but I added the "not hentai" line because me and my friends always joke about porn etc so it's just my humor.
But going back to what you said about it being a surveillance relationship. Yes it is kinda like that in a sense where we just both have each others locations. HOWEVER, it still has.never stopped me from doing what I want and going where I want to go. I already told her if she doesn't like it then she can leave. As far as her having control she really doesn't, we have a 1 year old son together as well as a baby girl on the way in a few months.
To clarify, YES my girl is extremely annoying but none of what she does actually requires me to break up with her. It's just trivial shit like she won't stop talking one night or she wants to fucking be annoying and keep tickling my feet or something.
And regarding my post after I ignored her all day yesterday she called me crying apologizing and begging for me to forgive her so yes I rewarded her chasing and gave her some attention back because she pissed me off the night prior by being obnoxious.
Lone_Ranger 1 3mo ago
I didn't realise you had kids.
However, the fact she is tracking your location and also, feels the right to ask you what is in your phone, is worrying.
It sounds like you could do with having an audit of your position, and realign.