@TUBULARBELLS

Girl's Trips and Moderate RP, a Question

Background:

I am a 20 year old college student who has been following TRP for over half a decade now. Although I haven't always been actively applying the concepts, TRP has helped me navigate my surroundings and progress my life. My backstory is relatively common: awkward nerdy kid growing up, eventually because more interested in girls, lots of rejections, etc. Eventually, I started seeing some levels of success, because I am relatively tall and good looking, and I learnt how to speak properly. I will admit that I do not have everything in my personal life sorted, for example I rarely go to the gym.

Body:

As I previously stated, I have been reading about RP concepts for years. What I noticed is that lots of material here, while it sounds aggressive or impactful, proves to be rather empty. In essence, common advice with a red wrapping. Now, with that being said, there is also so much treasure on this subreddit. Time and time again, the world around me acts exactly as TRP would predict. In particular, I have literally seen the perfect examples of AF/BB amongst some of my closest friends. In short, one of my best friends was getting cheated on for over two years. He was boring, the other guy a typical bad boy.

For this reason, I try to always process what I read on TRP, and as has previously been stated, TRP serves as an immensely powerful tool to interpret the world. For this reason, I would like to pose some questions regarding my personal LTR.

I met this girl through a mutual friend a while ago. Pretty, reserved, honest (as far as I can tell), and so on. Our sex is great, and I do enjoy spending time with her. Contrary to the typical RP advice, I do not flirt with other women, or spin plates. My degree (engineering) is just too time demanding, and things with her seem to be going too smoothly. I have met her family, they all seem reasonable, she can cook, and in general, she just provides value to my life.

Anyways, here come the problems: she has a slightly messy past, with a couple abusive short term relationships. Some gym rat who would throw things at her. She is 22, and I believe her body count is around 8. For context, mine is 1. Secondly, she goes out clubbing without me, and on vacations with her (female also in LTRs) friends.

Now, I know all this and she tells me, and I think I am okay with this. My idea is that my hot as fuck girlfriend will get approached everywhere, and so there is no point to hide her. Besides, why would I want to be in a relation with someone whom I have to keep indoors? Furthermore, I am impulsive and in my head, I always have one foot out the door. If I ever catch wind of her cheating/flirting or whatever, I would be out in an instant. I have her passwords, and I could go through her stuff whenever I'd want. I am also positive that if she ever did cheat on me, even if I wouldn't know, I would be able to pick up enough behavioral differences to tell and dump her.

Conclusion:

For all these reasons, I am asking for some feedback. More particularly, I am interested in tools to ensure I remain sharp, with one foot out the door. As for the clubbing, I am interested in hearing the voices and opinions of other "moderates". Basically, I want to learn how to monitor my LTR's trajectory, so that if she goes astray, I can know as soon as possible.

Thanks you. Sorry for the slightly peculiar story flow.

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@taya2002

How do you approach a situation when the boundaries are crossed?

Been with my girl for several months. We’ve met families, she's emotionally invested, affectionate, and overall it's been real.

From the start, I set a clear boundary: no one-on-one meetups with guys. She understood and agreed. Just a few days ago we had a conversation about this.

Now she’s back in her hometown and reached out to a female and a male classmate to meet up. The girl wasn't available and the guy didn’t reply yet, but the intent was there. We’ve had a few serious talks before—about trust, boundaries, and values. And honestly, it’s starting to feel emotionally draining to keep revisiting the same things.

How am I supposed to approach this topic? Is this simply just a value mismatch?

Trying to answer my own question here; I think I need to let the topic reemerge, and just point out the said boundary and distance myself completely from the situation

Study the book, stop being clingy, and invest the time to cultivate a hobby or two. If this is the same chick you mentioned earlier then your one-itis is the problem, not her socializing.

@dirtymikeandtheboyz

fumbled shit test

So ive been hanging out with my buddy his gf and one of her ridiculously good looking friends a few times.

Last weekend we went to a bar with some folk and ended up going to an afterparty afterwards. At this place everyone was pretty much sitting around the coffee table in the living room doing lines and getting fucked up. As the night progressed we were flirting and teasing and out of the blue she just blurts out "hey X do you want me to blow you?" (this was in front of everyone as we were all around the coffee table)

Not going to lie, it caught me offguard, and all i could muster to reply was "only if you make me finish".

We ended up going out on the balcony for a smoke and only ended up making out after which we went home (it was like 6 in the morning by now). I do feel i should've been able to get more out of this, but honestly not sure how I could have handled it differently.

My thought was I should have tried to pull her in the only washroom in the condo, but given that it seemed to always be 2 or 3 people in there at a time maybe it would've been bad manners to the other people. Should i have just been a dick to everyone else and done it anyways?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6ybfVT9gxA

Study the book.

@AbusiveFather1

being non-judgemental

those of you that are (or pretend) to be chill and non-judgemental, what are some stories your girls have told you (their past or current escapades)?

being non-judgemental is something that i'm working on, because shaming slutty behavior is just counter-productive (should just silently vet girls instead)

Next time she leaves her purse with you to pop off to the bathroom, after she disappears from sight take out her wallet, and photograph her drivers license with your smartphone. Later, when you take her home, politely ask if you can use the toilet. While in the bathroom take photographs of the labels of any medication bottles you find so you can do an online search on what the meds are for later. Depending on what you learn about her medications, you might not even need to bother with running a proper background check to vet her.

@Redpillpusher

In addition to accountability, reason is also a tool of the patriarchy

Consider investing into a reliable ready reference you can pick up and study to better prepare yourself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that you get yourself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". Doc Love, who until his passing was also known as Tom Hodges, wrote a weekly advice column that's archive is mirrored on several mens focused sites and a podcast. His media is a bit pricey, but it's a solid foundation a guy can branch out from in RP aware circles. I'd suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself. To save yourself a search, give this scribed link a gander to find out if his book is something you'd like to add to your library. It should also be available on libgen.

@Ronaldraygun77

Challenging situation. Need advice.

A couple years ago, I was zeroed out. Hard. Would like to think we’ve all been there at one point or another. Still in the process of taking accountability and rebuilding my life.

During this time, I moved in with my main LTR fully knowing what would likely happen. It was either that or homelessness. I’ve improved my station in life massively, and this chick still adds value to my life, has great qualities, but due to a pattern of events I’ll never be able to trust her again, let alone consider her true LTR material. This chick has confessed some awful stuff (be non judgmental and get her comfortable, and see for yourself). The sex is great, but I know im likely not her top option, she’s in her early 30s and is looking for a safe place to land. Have expressed I’m never getting married, but girls always think you’ll change your mind later.

It’s August. People’s leases are ending. Have come to realize staying in this situation is bad for my mental health and frame. Been a while since I lived on my own, but I know I need it. This LTR however, still thinks I’ll be her eventual Beta Bucks and has started looking at new two bedroom places (PRO TIP: if you’re gonna move in with a girl, having separate bedrooms will help a LOT) Not signing a lease with her. Also have a small business with her, which complicates things.

Almost have enough saved for a car, which takes priority over my own place, but will mostly drain my finances.

Here are my options. Remember not to moralize:

1: move in with her, find a way to not sign the lease. Or sign the lease and eat the cost of breaking it. Move into my new place when it’s ready, get my stuff out while she’s at work. Could potentially break the news a few days early, but this could be disastrous. She can afford the place by herself, no need for replacement roommate.

OPTION 2: rent a storage unit, and stay with my other LTR. This one and I get along better, and shes higher quality. Also offered to loan me $1000 to help get me out of the situation, which I’m thinking of accepting. There could be an angle, but genuinely doesn’t seem like there’s strings attached.

Option 3: Bite the bullet, get the car, and my own place all at once. The place I rent will have to be far from ideal and it puts me in a dangerous situation financially. No safety net, but potential opportunity to better myself through the discipline and struggle. Leave the 1st LTR with no closure, an ambiguous “nothing has to change” and slowly detach from her. Maybe keep fucking her, maybe not.

Option 2 strikes me as the most rational with the highest Pro to Con ratio. Interested in hearing what you guys have to say, and any similar stories and lessons. Thanks a lot, TRP saved my life.

Option 2, it is then. Study the book and good luck to you regardless of whatever choice you ultimately make.