@Red_dead

How do I become more challenging while finding a place for women in my life?

I'm struggling to put all the pieces together. I'm such a kinesthetic learner that all this stuff overwhelms me. I try not to mentally masturbate and go out and practice, but it seems hard to be consistent. I feel like I'm suffering from decision paralysis and information overload, to where I'm thinking about every step and getting anxiety about the decision, or what if she leaves and I have to make a move, and I hesistate. I still have a ton of fun when I'm out, but can't help but think about how I can improve. Some form of outcome dependence.

I'm naturally attractive, but my closing rate is so low, and it's always been my problem. Either I care too fucking much, and the girl gets turned off, or not enough, and I miss an easy lay-up.

Last month I went on a trip and saw some of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in a party setting, so no clothes basically maxxed out looks, and I've come back completely disheveled. I had so much fun overall but I didnt get laid, I approached but nothing came of it. I don't know if its the setting or the time but all these women now seem to think that theyre gods and im not necessarily complaing about it. It is what it is but I dont know what to do. On one hand it seems this way on the other I still see regular guys with these chicks and it sometimes makes me think is it social situation these guys are in like social groups are the only way to really connect with these high smv women. The crazy part is a lot of my friends pull, but they never approach. It's actually so weird they don't get approached or anything really but I guess either social game, or they maximize their opportunities when they go out. I approached for all of us the whole trip and it felt like a losing game, most approaches were actually good, but I feel I need to take the next step, maybe improve my physical and verbal escalation.

It feels like you're constantly being assessed, like looks, status, frame, even social media, but I want these hot girls, I need to turn conversations more exciting I have no idea how to be challenging and I think thats where im going wrong. Heavily relying on my looks and I dont get nearly as much iois as I used to.

It feels like a clock is always ticking, not that im scared of getting old, but that I'll have less time as it gets eaten up by bigger priorities(many of these things are good). This all doesn't help that as I enter my 30s Im struggling to find a place for women in my life, the time the energy to get them. The activation energy, if you will seems so high that I'm losing my peace. I barely have time for any leisure any more with work which is fine but im becoming increasingly neurotic toward women, my libido is high and it almost feels like I have a sex addiction without the sex, a bottomless pit, a never ending sense of gluttony like itll never be enough no matter how may women, maybe it's the fierce competitiveness in me to always want to do better. That being said I actually like my life more now and seem to have found some meaning but the feeling still exists.

How can I finally be a challenge and conquer this hold I've had over my life?

I'm sorry if this post is incoherent and jumpy, but I couldn't even figure out exactly what I'm trying to articulate. I took some time to think it through and read a lot of the recent asktrp, and now I'm even more confused.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtwiAkUj5Go

Study the book and you'll do better next time around. That you're placing so much concern on females suggests your life priorities are totally inverted. Besides, nothing good ever came of men whose self-confidence was dependent on female validation. You're not a child anymore. A mans self-confidence is a result of pursuing and overcoming the various challenges of life. During which time, you come to understand what interests, drives, and motivates you. To that end, I suggest that you get yourself two sheets of paper, a pen, and sit down at a table.

On the first sheet write down a list of things that you've been putting off on the back burner due to work, schooling, or just life in general. It doesn't matter how silly, or stupid the task or idea might be, just write it down. When you're done, take the second sheet of paper, and re-write the items from the first list starting with what you believe to be the simplest, easiest task, to the most complicated.

When you're done with the second list, get to work. The challenge once you've got the list done won't be simply accomplishing them, but not allowing yourself to be de-spirited whenever you encounter difficulty, or failure. To not let yourself be defeated. You'll spend the time to troubleshoot and diagnose the problem, then start over. If you need help, ask. There's no shortage of #books we can recommend that may help you achieve your goal.

Best of luck to you.