A few years ago my eldest son and I were talking, and the term The Red Pill came up. He saw it in an open tab in my browser, so I explained the basics in simple terms. He had already hit puberty, so the timing was perfect for this sort of discussion. He knew about sex and all that, but this was the next level.

My other children were there, but I directed the answer at him. (Side note: A great parenting technique I picked up along the way, was to do this in ear shot of the other kids. You can bet your bottom dollar the younger ones were tuned in big time - I could tell because they stopped what they were doing and hovered around in the background more quietly than usual.)

The discussion went something like this:

Son, there are many types of men in this world. My best guess is that there are three main types though – wolves, sheep, and German Shepherds.

• First, you have the sheep. About 60-70% of them men you will ever meet will be this sort. He is usually a decent, friendly, nice guy who works hard and loves his family. He tries to make his wife happy and generally does the best he can to provide for the people around him. Some would call this sort of man a “blue pilled” man. Some would call him a “beta”. (He understood the blue pill reference, but I had to explain beta to him too)
• Then you have the wolves. Some people call them “Alpha” males. They generally tend to be predatory, so fortunately there are not that many of them running around. You know them when you see them - they almost always have an unearned sense of arrogance about them. They were born tall, smart, athletic, rich or good looking. There are a few types, but they generally tend to be pretty selfish and cause society a lot of harm. In the movies they tend to be the toughest bad guys. But in real life, they are just jerks who wind up in jail or retired early with “back problems” after making a lot of babies with a lot of women. I know the type well and had a few as friends over the years. You tend to keep them at a distance if you even engage them at all. They are always looking to dominate, which makes them very bad friends.

I let it hang there for a second, to see if he was paying attention, and he said “Dad that’s only two”.

Good. I continued.

• Finally you have the type of man I like to call German Shepherds. Some people would just call them “Good Men”, but I don't think most people even know what a good man is to be honest with you. These men tend to be the ones who keep the bad guys in check. They can be police, military men, blue collar workers, computer programmers, or even teachers. They do all different sorts of work, but they tend to have one thing in common: They are driven mainly by deeply held values. As the saying goes, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. They are the DOERS of the world. They get things done.

German Shepherds are also natural protectors and they are fiercely loyal. When things go badly, they tend to be the ones who step in to help. The do not run from danger, they run TO it - oftentimes at great risk to themselves. They are helpful, and they search, defend, help, teach, fight, work, and even provide comfort. They also like to play and have fun. But above all they have discipline because they were trained well or learned harsh lessons in life on their own. No matter how they got there, they tend to be drawn to one another based on those lessons and experiences and the values and wisdom that came from them.

But never forget that they descended from wolves. So they are to be treated with respect and slight caution. Once they warm up to you, and you to them, you will know no better friend - and no worse enemy.

And rest assured that the wolves and the sheep both know this.

The Sheep don’t always trust these guys because they cannot figure them out. They tend to be subservient to them though, at least to their faces. The "Alpha" types may test these guys at times, but they rarely succeed in backing down a good man. Wolves tend to travel in packs. They rarely, if ever, step up to a Guard Dog one-on-one. They know better.

(Side note: If you ever want to back down a tough guy? Pull him aside and tell him you want talk to him alone. Go ahead - try it. You will quickly learn what I know - they back RIGHT down because there is no audience, and they know you have the confidence of the moral high ground. They are NOT used to being challenged alone like that.)

Oddly, that is how you befriend one too. They cannot admire you without fearing you on some level. This gets easier when you get bigger. There is a BIG difference between a 12 year old and a 14 year old. But almost no difference between a 25 year old and a 27 year old. Hold onto that thought. You will know what to do when the time is right. But keep in mind, you might also get into a fight if you show fear or get too aggressive. Either way, they will respect you either for challenging them, or for fighting - even if they win. That is how manhood works. Don't ever back down from a fight.

When it comes to girls, the challenge is that most of them cannot tell the difference between these different sorts of men. Unlike the actual animals where you can easily tell the difference, with humans it isn't so easy. Many men try to act tougher, or nicer, or more honest than they really are. Especially when they are little. This causes all sorts of trouble for the good men.

Furthermore, German Shepherds do not act like wolves, but they sure do look like one. They seem to act calm and relaxed and responsible, like a sheep, but they don't look like one. It's confusing to women! Sadly, for everyone, by the time they learn what a bona-fide good man really is, it is almost always too late. They have been bitten by wolves too many times so they will never really trust us. And they are not going to turn to a sheep for protection, because they know it would be futile. Too many times they have fallen for a sheep who claimed to be a German Shepherd, only to find out the truth later.

They may however, turn to a sheep for comfort, But they will never respect a sheep. Nature simply does not allow this. In this one small way, we cannot blame women for being confused. So do not EVER pretend to be something you are not. Strive to be a good man in your words, thoughts, and actions. People around you will get it sooner or later.

And if they don't, then ignore that person. They are dangerous to you.

Also, resist the temptation to become more like a wolf. When they are young, German Shepherds have less fun than wolves. They are too busy training. But a Good Man has a lot more wholesomeness, satisfaction, and goodness in his life. In the long run, it is almost always better to be a good German Shepherd. This way of life gets better and better over time. The alternatives are great when you are young, but they suck when you get older. You will see this sooner or later.

Also too, resist the temptation to become a sheep. It is easy to just sit back and let the world pass you by. Thoughts like “Why even bother”, or “be a good little boy/sheep”, or “step up/man up and take responsibility for wolf babies if you want to be seen as a wolf” should all be banished from your mind. Don't even entertain a whiff of thoughts like these.

Do NOT let anyone tell you that you should define yourself by the needs or wants of a woman, or by the urging of your genitals, or by the yapping of wolves. Never. I will help you define what it means to be a good man, and you will also learn your own lessons and build on what I teach you. Stick with that.

But be warned, life is not always easy for good men. We have to train hard to become a German Shepherd, and we will be tested by EVERYONE – sheep, wolves, and the women in our lives. Even our own mothers. They seem to need periodic reassurance that you are who you claim to be. After all, they have met a few wolves in sheep's clothing- and vice versa, so they need to know for sure. This is where the saying comes from.

Wolves and Sheep are pretty much born who they are – or they were trained to follow their basest instincts. We have more discipline and a higher purpose, and it is up to each of us to decide upon that purpose. Once we grow up, it is our choice and ours alone to forge our paths.

But we must also defend our families from both sheep AND wolves. Both are dangerous in their own ways, but we do not fear wolves or sheep. They are just being who they were born and raised to be. Just like us.

They play their games and we play ours.

And never forget - we may feel outnumbered at times, but we are never alone. We have each other. So there's that. There are also other guard dogs all around us if we need each other. No pack of wolves will ever win against a pack of German Shepherds. That is because we are strong, both individually AND as a part of a pack.

Wolves tend to fall apart without their pack structure. So do sheep. Never forget that.

Children (they were all right there at this point), you will all decide on the type of person you want to be when you get older, but if you asked me I would tell you - especially you boys - to be like a German Shepherd. Find other German Shepherds. There are enough of us out there - there always have been and always will be. And girls, when you start thinking about boyfriends, and husbands, and dating. Be mindful of this story when you start making your decisions.

Finally, my oldest boy asked me something I didn’t expect. “What is YOUR purpose Dad”?

You are son. All of YOU are my purpose and my legacy. Not much else matters to me the way you do at this point in my life. Your mom and I got divorced, and then she died, but I am still here, and always have been through it all. Right?

Listen very carefully - all of you. I will never ever abandon you. EVER. Do you understand me? We have a lot of awesome work to do and huge amounts fun to have! We haven't even started yet! Life is going to be awesome for all of you. I know this.

But in order to get to that awesomeness, you all have to learn how to be Good Men and Women. Something like German Shepherd. That's what I try to be. It will be tough, and it will hurt at times. Studying to be smart, lifting weights to be strong, running to build endurance, martial arts to learn how to fight, and the many other things that will forge you as a good person - these things all stink as you are going through them. But you WILL appreciate it when you get older. I promise you that. Ask me how I know.

And you will do the same with your own children one day. Side by side. Just like I do with you.

I love you son, (and you, my other children). You are the best children a man could ever hope for. THIS is what a good life looks like when you do things right. All sorts of bad things happen, but you pick up and wind up happier, and stronger than ever. And you wind up together. Like us.

Now. We have fun things planned for after dinner, so stop delaying and get your butts back to finishing up your chores!

When done effectively, analogies, parables, allegories, and metaphors can be powerful ways to convey a point. The subs, sites, blogs, and other forums that cover the material we cover here tend to be explicit. This is also a good thing, as numerous examples may be the best way to uncover patterns.

I have heard the analogy below used before, so I must add this disclaimer: I do not remember where I found this, but it is my take on someone else’s great work.

So here it goes:

Imagine you have a daughter who has fallen in love with a young man, let’s call him Bradley. They are both approaching 30 years of age, both college grads, and they are now ready to start their lives together. When you meet this young man, you are impressed; he is smart, charming, easy going, and he really seems to love your daughter. They get along well, and they seem genuinely happy.

At a holiday gathering, drinks are flowing and you hear Brad talking with other family members out on the back deck. Upon eavesdropping, you find out the following about Bradley:

1. He inherited two million dollars worth of gold coins and took possession of them at the age of 16.
2. He met a girl in Senior year of HS, and spent over $100,000 on her because she was so cute and hot and fun. She was a bad girl and, well, who can blame him.
3. In college he spent freshman year giving away significant chunks of his inheritance to girls from Kappa Kappa Skanka, the most notoriously predatory group of women on campus. He did this, every weekend, because "everyone else was doing it". He justified it saying “This was the time to ‘get it out of my system before settling down’. Besides, I had so much money that I would have plenty left after college.”
4. By Junior year, he slowed it down a little. He realized that every one of the countless women who were taking his money really had no interest in him beyond getting that gold. It started feeling bad about it, so he decided to take a semester off to find a “good woman”. Unfortunately the best women were already taken by more stable, reliable, and often less affluent men. Many of them had plans to get married after school.
5. After graduation at 22, he had about half his money left. So he realized it was time to hunker down and “get serious” about life. His partying ways in college meant he had a low GPA and could not remember a lot of what he learned. He had a hard time competing in the job market, and so he hopped from job to job and now works as a Dental Assistant.
6. During the intervening years before meeting your daughter, he used Tinder as his primary dating app, and he met many young women that way. He kept meeting the same sort of predatory women who were only after him for his money. This made him feel bad. Very bad. He started losing faith in women; despite the fact that he was using a hookup app for dating, and was the one making the decision on who to date.
7. Mid – party, you go to the bathroom and open up a browser window on your phone to check this guy’s name. You see a lot of photos of him partying, getting tattoos (bible quotes and various sorts of “spiritual expression”), drinking, smoking, and dabbling in drugs.

You also find out that Bradley has two children with different women. That is how he lost the largest part of his inheritance – the law didn’t make him give away that money, he did so willingly. Despite this, these two baby mamas are after him for child support. He has the part time job to keep those child support payments to a minimum. Still, he talks about them in glowing terms – they are still just “friends” and they still hang out sometimes. He speaks ill of women, but not these two in particular.

After the party when everyone is gone, it is just you and your daughter. You sit her down and ask her how serious she is about this guy. She says she loves Bradley and wants to marry him.

You ask her if she knows about his past and the photos and she says: Yes. You ask her about his inheritance, and she says: “Dad, look, I know you have concerns, and I appreciate that. Bradley has about $5,000 worth of gold coins left out of the original $2 million. "He only has a part time job to avoid getting reamed by his evil exes who abused him. Besides, he is happy and he loves me. “Besides”, she protests “I am not in love with his money. I love him for him. His past doesn’t matter to me.”

The most odd part of this whole story is that Bradley still swaggers around like a rich kid. He does not seem to understand that any value that money had for him when he was younger is now gone. He FEELS wealthy, but now he is just a barely employed person with a bit of money in the bank and a lot of baggage. Something about his swagger is attractive to your daughter though.

She is a talented successful professional, and she has a big heart. She feels bad for Brad and wants to "save him."

You love your daughter with all your heart. You raised her well. You band-aided her skinned knees, held her in your lap as she cried because that boy in middle school ignored her and broke her heart. You paid for every gymnastics class, went to every softball game, and every recital, and awards ceremony. You changed her diaper countless times, you bottle fed her, and stayed up with her when she was sick. You helped her study her way through HS, and you helped pay for her college. She is a beautiful, intelligent, kind, good woman; a rare find in today’s world. You invested everything you had into this beautiful little human being. She has the whole world at her feet.

Bradley is the love of your daughter’s life.

By now I hope the analogy is obvious. But just in case it is not - Bradley is the male version of Carol.

The women we see here so often are born with a wealth of beauty and sexual power. And instead of investing it in attracting and retaining a good man, they spend it - they waste their most precious natural inheritance on foolish men and players.

Similarly, Bradley was exceedingly fortunate to have been born into wealth. But instead of investing this wealth, using good judgment and sound reasoning to build a future for himself and his family, he spent it. He wasted almost all of his money on frivolous things and manipulative people, and now he is pretty much broke. Perhaps he did this because he did not have to earn it. Perhaps he didn’t know better. Perhaps he though the gravy train would never end. Who knows?

But two things are very clear. Bradley has very bad judgment, and he will never ever get that money back. His arrogance, under the circumstances, is grating on you now. He has proven himself to be wasteful, foolish, hedonistic, and short-term oriented. He will almost certainly make a bad partner for your daughter.

You might also start wondering, despite how amazing your daughter is, where you went wrong with her. Why would she even entertain a man like this?

What would you tell her?