Update post. So this girl that was excited about me apparently lost interest last weekend, her energy completely shifted from excited to talk to me, initiating conversations, etc to suddenly being dry. I tried to only text for logistics for the most part, i asked her out again which she wasn't available for.

Then she ghosted me the entire weekend, so i double texted (ik it's a mistake but I thought her interest in me was high enough). Then I think i fucked up further by acting needy and telling her i really want to see her again, which she replied with some emotional bullshit "ohh i was just thinking about you too because im at X spot picking up food for my little brother" (the spot we went to that night). I know the answer is go fuck other women but wtf, this was my first experience with a girl that was exactly my type, super hot and amazing personality. I can't believe I lost her that easily. Do women really move on this easily? I mean yeah she's probably fucking with some other guys now and I'm not her top option anymore but wtf. I can't believe i'm that replaceable

Ok bro, let this old dirty Don Juan jump in and give you some info!

First off congrats for hitting your first home run! Now, let's dish the dirt on doing dirty shit.

First off is you got PEGS (post ejaculatory guilt syndrome). Sex releases a shit ton of endorphins. Your body sometimes can crash from a comedown. Sometimes guys will fall asleep, sometimes you'll feel down, sometimes it's self loathing or disgust. This is all normal. You'll get used to it.

Now here's the thing from a bonafide deviant: Accepting your own sexuality is very very difficult. I worked on it for years because I had a lot of hangups and guilt. I liked group shit so, I felt like I was weird for some time. Most guys aren't comfortable with sexuality. That's why you get worries about sluttiness and conduct. It's all subjective.

Let's talk about real observable truth vs. truth on paper or even red pill forums. People are sexual you will get told that women aren't into sex like guys are. That's bullshit. Women are sexual horny creatures. Some are completely insatiable.

AWALT I'm afraid my guy. You didn't find an anomaly, you found a girl comfortable enough to be honest with you. I'm not trying to scare you, but prepare you for the true reality if what sex and dating look like.

Now I will warn you that an extreme amount of guys on here have problems with notch count and female sexuality. This is when you get an idealistic and insecure mindset instead of being grounded in reality. You're going to see a lot of hamstering here about sexuality. A woman's past sexuality and fidelity are out of your control. Guys telling you that you can control that are selling you a crock of shit.

I don't want to pathologise you right now, but I do want to speak about how a late bloomer like yourself is likely to move forward. I was a bit of a late bloomer as well. You've missed out on normal teenage sex and experimentation. Your mind and body will try to compress that in to make up for lost opportunities. It highly likely that you will get good at gaming and then go the route of hypersexuality. The other option is that you slow to a crawl, but I don't think that will be the case. The more sex you have, the more your get comfortable and your risk tolerance goes up.

Now your STI fear: Calm the fuck down bro. I would bet my entire life savings that you're perfectly fine. Especially with a condom. You're doing yourself a disservice by spinning yourself out. Without any experience you're going straight to the worst consequences

Don't live by my example even if I'm telling you this. I've been involved with so many women I've lost count. I got a vasectomy and I've raw dogged pretty much every woman I've been with besides maybe one or two. I have a higher risk tolerance. I share test results in a swap with most women. Sometimes the don't have some but that's ok, the only think I ever caught was a kid before my vasectomy.

You're at a crossroads here. Do you want every sexual encounter to be followed up with this type of emotional whiplash and guilt?

You can either accept sex for what is it, get informed and be ok with your own sexuality, or you can flip out until sex becomes a big ordeal. You can become neurotic, this becomes unrewarding, you fight your nature and need therapy. The therapy will teach you how to accept sex for what it is. You'll get informed and learn to be ok with your own sexuality.

It's your choice.