I’m a generous guy—not just with women—generous… but not stupid. However, I realize that some of my habits, which I’ve repeated maybe a little too often, create a routine where she expects a certain kind of behavior.

For example, I’ve never met a woman who cooks, so since I like it, I’m happy to do it. The problem is that this creates a sort of imbalance. Sure, we can split the chores, but I don’t think washing dishes even comes close to me doing the grocery shopping, cooking with care, and so on.

Another example is paying when we go out; I want to emphasize that I don’t pay for dinners, but maybe a few drinks—nothing more. However, if this has happened more than once, the girl expects it to keep happening.

I have to be honest—I’m the one who has a hard time breaking this cycle. By now, I feel like there’s this unwritten agreement, and it feels strange to act differently. I have absolutely no idea where to start; maybe my early frame is wrong, or maybe I shouldn’t even be putting myself in these kinds of situations. She’s the one who should be making an effort for me, not the other way around… and I find that the more I keep doing nice things, the more they keep having expectations—nothing new there; TRP explained it to me very well.

So I’m looking for advice on how to avoid finding myself in these situations, and specifically, I’m currently in a situation with a FWB where I’m experiencing the scenarios described above and I want to break out of the loop without pouting

t too sure. He mentioned to me that on the first date it’s best to flirt and show intent but intentionally do not go for a kiss or try to escalate into sex. The reason being is to show how good of a guy you are, and then on the second date escalate it all the way to sex.

He has a point, in some circumstances.

Opinions differ here: some guys say "get to sex and she'll stick around".

I'll give you my take at the end.

That will then help overcome any asd and also make them more obsessed with you rather than them feeling like you’re a shady character that just wanted them for sex/ them nexting you for trying it.

Yes

Is this good advice or is he talking out of his ass? For example if there’s someone you want to take a little more seriously, or if you want to overcome the barriers of asd, don’t invite them over to your place (or hotel if travelling) - after the first date.

If hotel or she's travelling, escalate all the way to sex. You won't be getting a second chance.

I’ve had scenarios where women were willing to come back to where I’m staying on first date, but also in some instances they weren’t. So I’m not sure if this is a good or bad idea.

Willing to come to your place does not mean sex.

For context I’m in mylates 20s and mainly interact with women in early to mid 20s.

Ok.

I see two options:

Option one: Escalate all the way to sex.

Advantages: if she's warmed up to you, aroused, in the mood, this can work. Especially if you seem like a sexy fun safe guy without doing any provider behaviour.

You're also most likely to get sex this way, if that's your aim. Less dates means less opportunities for her to change her mind, meet someone else, fuck up her logistics, change her mind, etc.

Disadvantages: likely to trigger retroactive ASD and she's less likely to see you again.

Option two (my preferred): Escalate to kissing. Enough to establish mutual interest. Change venues. Make no attempt to get to your bed or hers. Establish "I'd like to continue this sometime".

Date 2 or 3 at yours or hers. Date 2 ideally for FWB, Date 3 for LTR. This has the simple advantage that it doesn't trigger ASD nearly as hard and forms the basis of an ongoing sexual relationship.

What I can't agree with is "establish you as a good guy" and "don't kiss her". Kissing establishes mutual sexual interest and that you are capable of escalating to kissing. Women don't want boring dates to nowhere either (even if it's their fault). And the good guy part: fuck that. You want to be the rogueish devilish bad boy who is TEASING her by pacing things.