I got out of a LTR recently and decided a few weeks ago to get back into the game. Saw this girl on her own on campus today, I cold approached her before about a year ago during a short break with my LTR but didn't pursue further. After that we didn't speak much but I know I was on her radar the whole time, she gave me looks etc.

We did about 10 minutes of small talk, she was friendly, no shittests or much tension. I was going to ask her out for the next day, but then she brought up her plans for the weekend (some stuff with her friends) and that threw me off. Then she brought up that she'll probably not be on campus tomorrow but study at home, so I said "so I won't see you here tomorrow then" and she backtracked a bit "probably not, but maybe" (here I messed up again, should have just asked her to do something off-campus but I was in her frame). Then I mentioned I'll be there tomorrow for sure due to some stuff I have to work on, stood up to leave, and I smiled and said to her "by the way, I find you not bad" (maybe this sounds a bit awkward in English). She said something and laughed and I left saying "see you tomorrow, maybe".

I feel a bit bad about how it went, when I cold approached her last year I was more cocky and there was some tension, and I had strong frame with her the whole year in between (I was in a LTR and didn't care about her) which I think I have now lost. On the other hand I feel like I established a bit of frame and tension with the compliment at the end. I later found out she is in a LTR, at least she didn't mention that to me.

How would you say this went, what do I need to adjust about my approach? I have a few other prospects where I'm worried it will end up the same way - friendly conversations but no tingles and me hesitating too much.

Attempt to answer own question: I would say I need to be more polarising and cocky to give her tingles instead of just boring everyday small talk. Asking her if I can see her on campus tomorrow was bad for my frame.

You are asking a lot of big questions and so any answers will be quite simple as to go into detail needs a chapter on each.

Well done for taking a good clear look at yourself.

You don't overcome fear of death, you accept it, then it gets in perspective. You have to let your ego die a little to do this. Who you are and what you want is not that important really in the world and your life is not either. You are just another animal that will die and you will get through it because you lunch did. This is not something you can suddenly realise, it takes time and some knocks in life to really let it sink in. the good news is, for most people life supplies all that and they do get reconciled by the end.

What do you really want? If you want a wife and kids go get them, don't act out of fear or from what others expect. If you don't want those things, start looking at what you think you want and finding out if its as good as you hope. Be honest with yourself and your desires.

You can't fully deal with family disrespect. They are who they are and they are also your blood kin. Any drastic solution is self harm and harm to the family, which is valuable as an asset and as part of your identity. You do need to try things and you do need to have boundaries. You need to improve your behaviour, try to get others to and draw lines where you cannot. This is an on going thing through life. Don't quit, don't go in too hard, don't get too hurt.

Who you are will dictate what career is not too demanding for you emotionally. I can see form what you write that you have been hurt by life. This is to some extent bad luck but its also evidence of how you take bad luck -hard. Seeing your mother naked does not have to be life defining nor does your parents' divorce. Difficult sure but to make it part of your personal stats suggests you feel damaged by it. Likewise to have your life changed by a grandmother's death is unusual. I suggest you accept you are quite easily wounded. To some extent you can learn to toughen up but to some extent it is also who you are, so don't pick a career where you take a lot of emotional abuse and hard interactions with others. Also do not pressure yourself to much or you will suffer. The post already suggests you want to drive yourself hard but are quite vulnerable. You need to accept that these are opposites but also truths about yourself. One will never win out over the other without self harm. This may even limit your earning potential. That you have to accept. We all have to accept we can't be everything we want to be but to do the best with what we have.

You do need to learn to like yourself. You are honest about your short comings. Your ego is not on top of your grip on reality. That's a very likeable trait.